A Maniac Way
by zanessa4evachloe
Summary: Ever wondered what could possibly go wrong in a teenage celebrity's life? Nick Jonas's life? Read his diary, with personal thoughts and a catch-up on his life. Funny, moving, powerful. It's JB, everyone. Review. x
1. Trailer

**TOTALLY New Jonas Brothers Fic!**

In Hannah Montana Category.

I Dunno Why. Hee.

ENJOY.

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**Trailer:**

_**Nick Jonas. Simple boy. **_

Nick opens a blue book and starts to write. He pulls a ripped sheet from his pocket and smiles, placing it next to his neat handwriting.

**_Three of the most annoying brothers. The only way to get them back, is revenge._**

Kevin throws a yellow book onto his bed, leaving the room. Nick sneaks in and pulls the book into his bag.

Joe places his pink book into his drawer, walking out of the door and into the kitchen. Nick pulls the book out, throwing his underwear across the room in disgust.

Frankie places a sheet of paper in his pillowcase, smiling proudly. Nick lures him out with cake and pulls the paper out.

_**Read his journal, which includes top secret information and the funniest Jonas moments ever...**_

Kevin pulls his shoe off, revealing a star shaped tattoo.

Joe pulls a fluffy unicorn from under his bed and strokes it carefully.

Frankie secretly slips his thumb into his thumb, sighing as he lays down.

**_Laughs._**

Kevin and Nick laughing and throwing pillows at Joe.

Joe laughing at Nick, who's soaking wet.

Frankie laughing on a roller coaster ride with Kevin, who's about to be sick.

Nick watching Frankie do the chicken dance, laughing.

_**Tears.**_

Nick crying in a corner of his room.

Joe with tears streaming down his cheeks, holding Hannah Montana's hand.

Kevin pulling a crying Frankie onto his lap.

Nick and Lola crying into each other.

A screaming Hannah pulling at Kevin's arm.

**_Awkward moments._**

Kevin with his hand down his pants, sighing happily.

Joe blowing his nose with a pink and yellow spotted tissue, then looking inside it.

Frankie throwing a hissy fit in the supermarket, lying on his stomach in the middle of the isle, screaming.

Hannah singing in the shower, dancing and posing in the mirror, then realizing Nick had just walked in, grabs a towel.

Nick blushing as a naked Hannah walks out from the shower.

**_And._**

**_Too._**

**_Many._**

**_Cringes!_**

Half naked Nick chasing a half naked Joe around the room.

Kevin kissing a brunette, then burping in her face.

Mrs Jonas running out of the house in a mini skirt and her her sticking out everywhere.

Frankie walking around with a huge bogey hanging from his nose..

Lola spitting her sandwich in Joe's face.

Hannah slapping her agent, then turning around and slapping Nick.

A blushing Kevin signing a fan's chest.

Nick jumping on a bed which contained Hannah.

Hannah's agent, Billy, sitting on a whoopie cushion and Joe pointing and laughing at him.

Joe disco dancing on a band stand in a park.

Kevin burping in the middle of a song at a concert.

Nick falling off the stage at a concert.

Hannah spacking out about an imaginary hair on her burger.

**_And here it comes._**

**_The one and only,_**

**_Phenomenal,_**

**_A MANIAC WAY!_**

Nick straightens the camera, Joe walks up and pats his hair down, sitting on a couch, Hannah and Lola walking on and tripping, landing across Joe, Lola on the floor. Kevin jumps in, wearing a Batman costume, and sits down. Frankie follows, pointing and laughing. Billy walks in, glaring at Kevin who burps, then Nick comes back on and smiles straight at the camera, then sits next to Frankie and they all smile.

**_Look out for chapter 2. _**

**_Will be here as soon as you can say 'NICK IS A STUD MUFFIN'._**

**_Not literally, but..._**

---------------

Love Chloe x

(Review and tell me if you like the idea...x)


	2. Dear Diary

**Name: Nick Jonas**

**Date:2/18/07**

_Dear Diary,_

In life, there are two ways.

The normal way, and the maniac way.

Unfortunately, I live the maniac way.

I'm Nick Jonas.

And, I am pretty unfortunate.

Some of the time.

Okay, so, moving on...

This is my private and personal journal.

I wish for NO ONE to read it!

But, because you'll be hearing a LOT from me, hence being MY journal, here's a tad of info you might need to know about me. If, you're going to understand me straight...

I'm 15 years old, and my hair is as curly as can be.

I have a mom called Denise, and a dad called Kevin.

I want a pit bull called Pit Bull. I'm very creative with names, you see.

I like to SING. Which would probably add up to the fact I'm in a BAND.

A FAMOUS one!

Well, let's move on.

You know, if this was a movie, and not a journal, you would probably find that now the old country music would come on and a clip of me walking up to the front door of my beautiful little cottage-like bungalow covered in flowers and birds would come up.

But, that wouldn't happen here.

Because right now...

My house is being demolished!

Yes, that sounds bad but for me, it's great news.

Don't tell anyone, but our old house was infected with cockroaches.

And that was kind of my fault...

Moving on again before I get seriously grounded...

So, with no home, I had no choice but to live...

On a tour bus!

It's DISGUSTING...

The worst thing is my three brothers will be there too.

With them around, it's like living in hell.

Let me tell you a little about them...

One's Joe, he's 18.

One's Kevin, he's 20.

And the 'Bonus' one is Frankie, he's 7.

I don't see why my mom had to have such kids.

They make me a guy that I know I'm not.

They make me do such as things as, say, stealing their journal, ripping about the embarrassing parts and posting them on the internet.

So...

That's me.

Nicholas Jonas.

The LEGEND.

---

Second chapter!

I know it's tiddly, but it's the intro of Nick's diary.

Just to set it straight with you guys, thank you for the 6 very generous reviews!

Keep 'em coming!

And also, in Nick's diary across the next few chapters, there will be bits of Joe's, Kevin's and Frankie's diaries, and also flashbacks and dreamsthat aren't in first person.

Joe's diary is in italics, Kevin's is in bold, and Frankie's is underlined, and the flashbacks and dreams will be bold and italics and will have --- at the beginning and ends.

Lol.

---

PEACE.x


	3. The Private Jet

**Name: Nick Jonas**

**Date:** **2/22/07**

**Title: The Private Jet .**

Today has been such a boring day.

All I can hear is Joe's terrible mid-morning singing and the shower running.

So I was thinking, what was the perfect animal for me?

If I could choose any pet, it would most probably be something like a snake or a monkey or a zebra.

Don't ask why, they are the best.

So, I was thinking about it, and...

---

(Goes into a flashback of the first day of 2007)

_**Nick, Joe and Kevin were walking down a small slope at the airport. Kevin was pulling a case and Joe was pulling an extra large case.**_

_**Nick was walking behind them, pulling faces.**_

"_**Wee!" Joe screamed, losing control of the bags and sliding down the ramp on his bum.**_

"_**You idiot! Let me hold the case!" Nick ordered, but Joe playfully shook his head, getting up and pulling the case behind him to the exit.**_

_**On the way, he let go of the case and it started to roll down on it's own, out of control.**_

"_**Uh-oh." Joe said quietly, watching the case run into a large pillar at the end and falling back.**_

"_**Joe! That's my stuff in there, you know!" Nick cried, agitated.**_

_**His voice went higher and higher as his heart sank lower and lower.**_

"_**Unlucky..." Kevin jeered, pointing at Nick as he slowly made his way towards the two.**_

_**Just at the last moment, the case rolled over a bump on the ground and it flew up in the air, it's contents spreading across the place.**_

"_**Ha, ha." Nick shouted angrily, as if getting revenge.**_

_**He pulled the case up, stroking it carefully.**_

_**He pulled it outside, followed by a singing Joe and a grumbling Kevin.**_

"_**Unlucky, dude! That old lady was so eye-balling your undies," Joe joked, poking Kevin in the ribs.**_

"_**Shut up, okay? You've probably damaged most of your stuff anyway..." Kevin grumbled, stopping next to Nick and looking down at him.**_

"_**Haha, you're small." he said happily, a complete change of mood.**_

"_**Shut up!" Nick shouted, pushing Kevin into Joe.**_

"_**Excuse me?" Joe said sternly, slapping both Kevin and Nick across the head with his hand.**_

"_**It's his fault!" Nick insisted, pointing at Kevin repeatedly.**_

_**Joe threw his hands in the air, making farting noises.**_

_**Just then, a limo pulled up and Jives, their chauffeur, packed their suitcases away and then let the boys in.**_

"_**Jives!" they all called in unison.**_

"_**Hello there, boys. How was Denver?" he replied in his loud, raspy voice.**_

"_**Good! Did you know we had, like, the WHOLE first class to ourselves?!" Nick gushed, running on about the jet.**_

"_**It was a private jet, dork." Kevin said, punching Nick playfully on the arm.**_

"_**Oww, Jives, Kevin hit me!" he grassed, and Jives chuckled.**_

"_**Don't be a grass!" Kevin yelled.**_

_**Nick shrugged and opened the packet of hot nuts on the side.**_

"_**Oh, give me those!" Joe cried, waking from his dream.**_

"_**Where were you, dude? Dreamland?" Kevin joked.**_

_**Joe nodded happily, pushing nut after nut in his mouth.**_

"_**Actually, Jessica-Alba-land. She's so gorgeous. She doesn't know it, but we'll be married one day." he gushed.**_

"_**You're an idiot! I thought Nick and the private jet was a stupid mistake, but you? Dude. I don't understand why you exist." Kevin said seriously, stealing the nuts off him and eating them himself.**_

_---_

...Yeah, so I think, if I could have an any colored zebra, it would have to be blue and red. That would be seriously sweet.

I just randomly had a strange flashback to 01/01/07, it was really strange.

I was so annoyed... My brothers are huge idiots!

I don't know why I'm related to them.

But, moving on...

I have a private jet.

I haven't told Joe, so shh.

Yeah, that sounds real strange, but me and Kevin have been on it.

Not Joe though, we missed our flight to wherever we went, to Florida I think, and he went home...

But me and Kevin stayed and with all our GLORIOUS money we bought this private jet off some guy...

It's really cool.

I know, that sounds kinda messed up, but we love our jet. It has pink wallpaper on the inside!

So, yeah.

We were flying it, well not us, but our pilot called Barry.

Man, is Barry cool!

We were going really fast around the runways, Kevin was nearly sick! But he has a weak stomach...

But I was getting thrown around everywhere, trying to get onto a chair with a seat belt.

I never got into one though, so now I have a huge bruise on my arm now, it's purple and yellow and it looks so cool!

---

_Dear diary, this is Joe Jonas! Yeah, hard to believe, but true. I have something to share with you. Oh, such a lucky book! _

_Here goes... My celeb crush is... Jessica Alba!_

_But she is so hot! I spoke to her before. I gave her an autograph for her friend's daughter, but I know it was secretly for her. She wouldn't say though. I know she's into me!_

_Oh, be right back, I have to go and hug Sloppy..._

_Back! Oh, please don't tell anyone, please, please, but I have a stuffed toy. It gives me luck, I swear! I'm obsessed with it, I haven't been to one tour without it being in my case._

_Away from everyone, of course!_

_I'm not ready for people to know about it yet._

_I really don't want this to be worldwide._

---

Haha! Not so secret now, my brother!

Wow, it feels really good to do things like that!

Oh, how sweet I am.

I just got awesome news...

Kevin's going to get flying lessons! Think, Kevin flying a plane?

It's almost impossible to picture, but it's happening. He just phoned...

---

(The call)

(Nick normal, Kevin italics)

Hello?

_Little bro! It's Kevin, where's mom?_

Out. What you want?

_To tell her the news._

Oh no, you're not pregnant, are you?

_For God's sake, Nick, no!_

Oh. What then?

_I'm getting flying lessons!_

Flying carpets don't exist, silly!

_Flying our private jet!_

Ah, that does make a lot more sense.

_Stop being stupid!_

I'm not. I'm being myself.

_Tell mom to ring me back then, please._

If you give me $10.

_No!_

Fine then. I won't tell her and she'll scream when you tell her you've passed and have a heart attack and die and we'll have just a dad who'll hate you and ban you from our house.

_Shut up! Just tell mom._

Nope. You've led me to sincere depression now. All I wanted was $10. And now, I shall go and slit my wrists.

(End)

---

I was so funny! But Kevin gets really annoyed when you act dumb around him. For all the cameras, he's all smiley, smiley, but in real life he's not. He's a huge grump!

So is Joe. He sleeps, like, 15 hours a night!

And he doesn't shower.

He showers, like, once a week.

Well, I have to go and find Frankie in the garden.

He's gotten himself lost, the little rascal.

I can hear him screaming my name...

'Nick, Nick? Nick!'

Ugh, annoying or what?

So, that's all I wanted to say to you.

Bye!

**Signed:Nick Jonas**

---

Yay! 3rd chapter already!

Or 2nd, whatever way you put it...

Okay, I dunno if this chapter fits or anything... I dunno if Jonas Brother's have ever been to Denver, or if they have a private jet, or if they're like that, but I chose the story, so we'll go by the story.

Tough anyone who thinks otherwise.

But OMG... 9 reviews already! Thank you!

Please keep reviewing!!

And okay, I dunno why but for some reason when we have the flashback we don't read what he's writing, so don't worry if you get strangely lost when he starts randomly talking about red and blue zebra's...

Hee )

---

PEACE.x


	4. I Made Kevin Cry

**Name: Nick Jonas**

**Date:** **03/09/07**

**Title: I Made Kevin Cry.**

Haha! Today I have something bottled up inside me and I have to tell someone.

Well, I'm going to tell you anyway.

I am a genius!

Not because I'm handsome and smart, but because I did something else...

I made my 20 yr old brother cry!

It sounds impossible, you know, 15yr old stud muffin able to defeat a gross, old pig like my brother... Okay, when I put it like that it sounds easy but it isn't.

Trust me.

It's even hard making FRANKIE cry.

And he's...

Like, 5.

'My name is Frankie! I am 8 and I like to sing and play the drums. I want to play drums in my brother's band when I'm older. But first my mommy says I have to stop sucking my thumb because otherwise I might suck my thumb in the middle of a concert and I don't want to look silly. Nick says he always gets nervous on stage and I think I might wee myself. I don't think people will like to see me with wee in my pants because I might start crying and then that will look real bad. Joe said he did that once and he told me his pants were all sticky and uncomfortable and he said it was real embarrassing coz it made him forget the words to the song but Nick was a good singer so he sung the rest when Joe ran off. He said he cried. I love Nick, he doesn't hit me like Joe and Kevin because they are mean! I have to go now because my mommy is cooking dinner and I have to lay the table with Nick. Love from Frankie x'

Aww, my brother is a nice boy. To me.

Haha, I remember when Joe wet himself. He nearly cried with embarrassment!

Bless him, he thought it was puberty!

But actually, he forgot to go before the concert, so...

But then, the spotlight was on me.

ME!

Okay, back to Kevin...

Listen to this...

**'I hate my brother! He's an idiot, total idiot. It started when we were going to Hannah's house, I mean, she's cute. Totally cute! So we were all excited, especially Nick, I mean, he thinks he has a chance with her! But she was totally hitting on me when we got there, she sat next to me and tripped and landed in my arms and held the door open for me... Yet she's like 5 years younger. That's not weird, is it? Oh well, I don't care. She's totally hot. Well, anyway, we were walking on into her apartment, when Joe needs to brush his hair. I mean, of all times, he chooses when we're standing outside her apartment! Frankie and Joe legged it downstairs to find a restroom, and me and Nick stood at the top of the stairs. And we talked... And he was annoying. So annoying. I mean, have you heard about our conversation when I told him about becoming a pilot? He said he was going to slit his wrists. I mean, WHAT?! Well, Hannah opened the door, and we both went WHOA... She had brown hair. And it was GORGEOUS! Nick sort of like, rushed up to her and was sucking up to her, so we got in this fight. Hannah went inside, became blond again and ran back out, trying to break up this mega fight we're having. And yeah, he walks off down the stairs. Hannah is all like 'aww, poor you, let me get you a soda.' and he runs up, jumps on my back, and slams me to the ground. Mega ouch! Also, not helping, Hannah came out and I was screaming 'I LOVE MY MOMMY!' I totally blame Nick.'**

Haha! I made him look like a fool in front of Hannah. Hannah is amazing. She's gorgeous, and hot, and pretty, and apparently brunette.

But I don't care. I think she's super hot both ways!

Anyway, yeah, I was all on Kevin's back, you know, he was seriously annoying me! Okay, I think I'll take you back. This isn't really helping un-confuse you.

Well, we all have a huge crush on Hannah. We all think we can get with her. And because I'm closest to her age, I have a better chance than all of them. And, I met her first at her concert. So she should date me. Right? No.

Joe is obsessed with her... He talks about her 24/7. he really likes her.

_'Don't you just love Hannah Montana? She can totally rock out! I can't believe I've spoken to her before! But I'm like so unlucky, because I'm too old for her, Nick's a bitch. He just has to be the right age!'_

That was from Joe's over boring diary. All he talks about is girls girls girls... He's always so mean to me...

Anyway but she's MINE. But Joe and Kevin didn't know that, but they should. So when I went over and started, you know, flirting, Kevin must've gotten jealous. I mean, her brunette hair was flipping and I didn't notice him trying to butt into our conversation. So I kinda yelled, and he flipped out and started screaming and walking in circles, which is seriously irritating, so I hit him.

Not hard, just really softly so he would get the picture. That I wanted him to stop? But he didn't. He got in a serous mood and said I was a bad influence to Frankie, who clearly wasn't there! So I hit him again. And then we shouted and shouted and he called me an 'idiotic pea brain who needs a serious haircut', so I called him a 'wrinkly old fart who needs plastic surgery', and he called me a clown so I called him a jerk and it went on and on!

Then the super gorgeous Hannah came out, and this time she was her original blond self, but I could see the brown hair poking through.

Wow. She's a brunette in real life. Who'd have thought?

Well yes, Kevin was shouting really mean stuff at me, so right now, great for me .

She's feeling really sorry for me and starts shouting at Kevin (he doesn't put THAT in his diary, does he!) and she puts her arm around me and I nearly fainted.

Seriously!

So Kevin's standing there, pulling faces, then he's seriously rude and says, "Well why should I listen to some stinking 15 yr old? I could beat the beef out of you." (Okay, he didn't say beef. He said something that my mommy tells us we should never say.)

And so she starts screaming, and there's tears rolling down her cheeks in a dramatic sort of way. They looked kinda forced, I wouldn't think such a minor comment would make her cry, but I hugged her anyway.

But she pulled away and slapped Kevin on the arm, and he started backing away. I'm just standing there, laughing. And she grabs onto his arm and is like screaming these insults in his face, and she runs inside and starts crying. So I yell at him some more and walk down these flight of stairs to find Joe and Frankie.

Boy, they missed out on a mega good fight.

When I found them, Joe nearly started crying. He came out with some random questions...

_'No way, what did she say? Did her mascara run? Did she slap him? Was he mega mad? Did he swear? What else did I miss? Did you do anything? Was it funny to watch? Did she sigh and call him hopeless? Or was it total cat fight? Was she red in the face? _

_The answers, I do not know.'_

That was from Joe's diary. He's really stupid sometimes. But, when I thought it out, Kevin was real horrible to my future wife. So, as we were walking up the stairs, Joe was ranting on, and somehow Superman came into his conversation with himself, and Frankie started singing a Britney Spears song, and for me, the anger was like... Well, there was steam coming out of my ears.

I loved Hannah Montana! And so did Kevin and Joe and Frankie. And Kevin had screwed that up and thrown it in her face and made her cry.

So I legged it up the stairs and I saw Kevin standing with his back to me, so I ran up and jumped on his back, yanking on the hair on his head. It must of really hurt because he started screaming and he fell on the floor...

Then Hannah walked out just as he said 'I LOVE MY MOMMY' and she burst out laughing. Joe just took pictures and Frankie nearly started crying.

The picture of a boy like me, beating up a brother like him was truly magnificent to see. I can't believe I wasn't there.

Oh, I was, but not watching.

Well, yeah, and then he pushed me off and he sat up, he looked really dizzy, so I got up, walked up to him and...

WHAM.

I punched him!

I hit him, and he fell backwards.

He hit his head on the concrete floor and he started to cry.

I laughed at him and he cried.

Hannah rubbed his head, and gave me evils, but hey! I hugged her first.

And they walked inside, and Frankie, who was randomly crying and talking to himself, followed them in.

Joe was doing something on his phone and I was standing there, laughing.

It was a beautiful moment, until some random kids mobbed me and Joe, and we ran into the apartment so fast...

I didn't expect what was coming next.

They were KISSING!

Well, Hannah had her wig off at first, so Joe didn't recognize her, but when he did, he totally took out Kevin, and slammed him onto the couch.

Then we all heard an awkward squeak.

It was kinda like a mouse. We all stopped and looked around, until Hannah snapped her fingers and screamed 'LOLA!'

Then the couch started moving and a purple head popped up out of the cushions all placed up against it.

Joe screamed like a girl and got up, holding his knee randomly. (I've seen him do it before, I think it happens when he gets nervous or frightened. Probably a technique he learned to stop himself wetting himself! He also does it in the middle of concerts when I'm singing. He looks like a freak!)

Kevin smiled at her before glaring at Joe, who snapped back into action and jumped back on Kevin, who was wrapped up in a blanket.

Hannah and me were standing on the side of the room, biting our lips, watching as Lola hit Joe with a pillow and Kevin bit Joe's ankle, Lola kicked Kevin in the face and Joe whacked Frankie in the eye, so he screamed in Lola's ear who turned around and received a face full of pillow.

I smiled at her, she smiled at me, and it was a very happy ending. I jumped into her arms and we kissed gently, and my brothers started clapping and sighing, not being jealous at all but being happy, and we ran off to the nearest church, got married and are now honeymooning in Atlantis.

In the last sentence I was joking. Obviously. No, we stood there, smiling, and we walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on. And that was, well, it.

Not romantic or nothing.

Then, when the fighting stopped and Joe ran into a random room pretend-crying, and Frankie was sitting on the floor, drying his STILL randomly wet cheeks, and Kevin was sitting on the sofa, crying into his arm, and Lola was skipping about outside, me and Hannah walked out and set the mugs of hot cocoa and warm milk on the coffee table.

"Milk's ready, sweetie!" Hannah said kindly, handing a flask of lukewarm milk to Frankie. He smiled and took it and we all sat there, drinking in silence.

When we all went into different rooms, I don't know why we did, we just did, if that makes sense, Lola came in and started crying because her milk was cold.

And we laughed.

**Signed:Nick Jonas**

---

There we are! Brilliant new chapter!

Sorry if it's kinda confusing, I tried my hardest t make it seem like a diary, but then have a story twist to it...

It's harder than it looks!

Hope you enjoyed :)

Please review!


	5. We Got The Party Pt 1

**Name: Nick Jonas**

**Date:2/18/07**

We Got The Party

05/13/07

Wow wee! Me and my brothers were asked to be on Hannah Montana, and we're going tomorrow to start filming! I so totally forgot, I learned all my lines though, but I'm gonna be singing with Hannah, woo, woo!

We said yes, obviously. You should've seen our faces when mommy told us we had to go to the studio, Joe's eyes popped out of his head, Kevin did that weird click thing with his hand and I screamed. Like a girl!

06/06/07

As if we got asked to be on Hannah Montana! We just finished filming yesterday, it didn't take long, it would've been a lot quicker than that, but we were all total idiots and had to do all the scenes like 50 times. But, if I had been writing last week, if I hadn't been busy, I would've put a little of the drama in here...

Okay, I'm gonna put it in anyway, I was just building up the tension.

Ha!

Well, I shall start from the beginning, as I usually have to. Because you are an idiot journal!!

---

_Hello, me again, I have big news! I'm on Hannah Montana! Yes, the show, and yes, with Hannah Montana herself! I bet you, diary, are jealous. But you don't realize, you wonderful pink secret holder, you were right there with me. Yeah, in the same room as her! You lucky old thing, you, but _you_ didn't record a song with her. I, Joseph Adam Jonas, sang a whole song with her! And, I realized, she plays Hannah, in fact, she's called Miley. But, I'll call her Hannah, coz it's cute. Well, peace out! Joe, x_

---

And yeah! Her real name is Miley, I can't believe we were stupid enoughnot to Google her name and see what comes up. We looked right idiots! You should've seen us, standing there, like, hey...

(Flashback!!)

---

_**Nick Joe and Kevin walk into the room, smiling nervously. Hannah screams and walks up, her brown hair showing. Nick smiles, Joe makes conversation and Kevin stands in the background chewing on his finger and eying the candy shooting guns on the side of the room. **_

"_**So, Hannah, what's with the brown hair?" Joe asked, picking up a curl and waving it in front of her face.**_

_**She shook her head disappointedly, crossing her arms and walking to wards Nick slowly.**_

"_**Come on, Joe, my name's Miley, and, you know this is my real hair! It's not like I dye my hair blond each episode, is it?" she said, eying Nick, biting her lip.**_

_**Joe laughed nervously, placing his hand on her arm.**_

"_**I know, I'm being a doofus, that's me, haha.." he said quickly, eyes darting around the room. "Ooh, muffins!" he cried, striding across the room and picking up a chocolate one, sniffing it.**_

"_**Mitchell's obsessed with muffins too." Miley said to Nick, who was still smiling and staring at Miley's chest.**_

"_**Yeah... Umm, who's Mitchell? Your boyfriend?" he winced saying that, suddenly looking away from the glorious sight that was jiggling about in font of him.**_

"_**No, he's my co-star! Do you even watch my show?!" she said, slightly annoyed. These Jonas boys were quite stupid in person.**_

"_**I know that, I was wondering... I mean, co-stars date, right?" he said, flashing her his cheekiest smile.**_

_**She smiled back, but his smile quickly turned to a straight face as Kevin walked back, arm in arm with Emily.**_

"_**Boy, marshmallows are good!" he said, his mouth full.**_

_**Noticing how horrible his manners were, he quickly swallowed his big mouthful.**_

_**But before he could apologize to the ladies, he heard Emily speak up.**_

"_**Righteous!" she said, mouth also full. She high-5ed him, a chunk of marshmallow falling from her mouth as she did.**_

_**Feeling more at home, Kevin burped, watching Emily's smile grow wider.**_

"_**That's more like it, boy! I know we've met before, I'm Emily. A.k.a, Lola." she said quietly, grinning from ear to ear.**_

"_**Umm, yeah, Hannah's hotter." he joked, receiving a playful slap from Emily, who dropped her handful of marshmallows on a plate and walking away.**_

_**Kevin smiled disappointedly, but quickly resumed to placing marshmallows in his mouth. **_

"_**So, Nick..." Miley started a conversation up, walking around him and standing on his right side.**_

"_**So, Hannah.." he answered, looking at the floor.**_

"_**I'm Miley! Hannah is my character's name! For goodness' sake!" she cried, throwing her hands up in the air and walking away.**_

---

I'm still slapping my forehead in annoyance. I mean, I knew her name was Miley, she told us, and I went and said Hannah.

Idiot, idiot, idiot!

Wow, look what I just found in Joe's diary!

---

_Wow wee, did you see Lola today? Actually, her name's Emily, but she's super cute and she so suited the purple wig she was wearing around set today. Even though she didn't wear it for the episode, it was so cool! She showed me all of her wigs, she has blue, pink, purple, red, white, blond, black, and brown. I walked around for like an hour with the pink one on, it really suited me. _

_And, Emily is a total laugh! We were hanging out, like, all lunch and all she was saying was 'I love X-Box' and I was like, wow, me too!_

---

Haha, my idiot brother has a crush. Although, in the next paragraph, there's about 50 lines of 'I DO NOT LOVE EMILY', he does.

Well, on set, we had a huge laugh.

I'll start from the beginning again, because it's taking me so long to get there.

Well, we got there and whatnot, and **Miley **got in a hissy, because, well, I forgot her name. So that took up ten minutes of filming and rehearsing time.

Then Joe was sick because he had eaten over 40 muffins, yes, 40 whole muffins, and we had to clean it up and get him another outfit.

Then, Lola went missing. I mean, Emily. We found her in the cafeteria 15 minutes later, singing 'she's a jolly good fellow' and we had to get her another outfit too because she had chocolate and marshmallow stuck on her.

By then, we had missed nearly a whole hour of filming, so the director got in a huge huff and walked out, but came back in after a while and shouted action.

We all ran to our places, we looked so scared on the film, it was hilarious.

Yeah, so then we were filming, and Hannah and her agent bang through into the recording studio, and Joe randomly cracked laughing. Then Emily ran on and started dancing, and by now, the director had got so annoyed, he had packed up and gone home.

So then, when we all calmed down and got ready to film again, we all stood there, waiting for an action... But there wasn't one!

Haha. But we started anyway, and then, when I'm supposed to say 'Dudes, it's Hannah Montana', and we run to the door, it all went so wrong, because Joe jumped on Kevin's back, fell off, smashed through the door, I went flying into Billy's arms, Hannah started screaming and Kevin went WHOA.

Then, when I say she's pretty, Kevin burped and Hannah walked off the set. We don't know why, but when she came back, she said she had to go to a shoe sale, and I was like, that's in the script.

Kevin was like, what a smart one you are, Nick, and I was all annoyed, so the camera guys said they would be back tomorrow, and we got in this fight and everyone went to their own hotel rooms.

It was hilarious.

Okay, me and Hannah never got anything _off_, but I could say we were pretty close. I mean, she laughed at my jokes, and she was more shouting at Kevin for burping, calling him a pig and such nonsense.

But she did whack me across the head and said I was an insolent boy who shouldn't laugh at other peoples tellings off.

It was like, an amazing sight. She went all pink, and her eyes all scrunched up and her nose turned up, and she looked beautiful. When she wasn't looking, Joe took a secret snap of her angry face, haha.

He comes in handy sometimes!

Well...

I'll write in again with any more news on... Miley.

Ah... Cute name.

06/15/07

Oh. My. Gosh.

Or, as Hannah said, oh my Jonas.

She's a gooden', isn't she?

Well, I turned up at her house with a DVD and a bag of popcorn.

"Hi Miley. I brought these, I was wondering if you wanted to watch it with me, as an apology for Kevin's... I'm sorry, I mean my behavior. I really am a nice guy." I said, and she smiled and let me in.

Strangely, she had green ends of her blond wig, then I realized, she wasn't wearing a wig. She had gone and dyed her hair bloody blond and green.

She looked so hot, though.

And while we were watching, she turned to me and said she forgave me. And she smiled, and fell asleep on my arm, so when the movie was over, I carried her into her bedroom and tucked her in.

Well, she was kinda heavy, so I more staggered into her room and collapsed on her bed, and she landed on top of me, and elbowed me in a very sensitive place.

So I screamed, and she woke up and let me out.

"So... Will you kiss me goodnight?" I asked (stupidly), hoping for a yes.

"Goodnight... And goodbye." she said cheekily and closed the door.

"That's my song!" I shouted, throwing the empty popcorn bag I randomly had hold of and I jogged home.

And wrote it all up here.

Woo!

Hello, Frankie here. Today I went with my brothers to see where the show Hannah Montana gets filmed and I saw a real hot chick. Her name is Noah and she is fine! That's what Joe told me, and I went to talk to her and she said she was 7 like me. But she's a little bit older than me, but I don't care. She is so pretty and she is really funny like me. She is now my best friend. I met Hannah Montana and I found out her real name is Miley, well Kevin told me to call her Miley because she gets upset when everyone thinks she is just Hannah Montana which is why she started writing her own songs and singing them as Miley in her latest concerts, so she has to be Hannah Montana **and** Miley too. And I found out that Noah is Miley's little sister. She is so cute though. I hope I see her again, I definitely dig her! From Frankie x

Oh, Frankie is such a cutie. And so is Noah! ;)

Well, I can't be bothered to deceive my brothers anymore, or be revengeful, or whatnot, and all I can be bothered to do is curl up on my bed (although I'm already doing that) and turn out the light and put some music on. (which I'm also doing at the moment, but it's my own song, I wrote it a few days ago and I'm not happy with it, haha.)

I want to play some Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus.

I shall download some and then fall asleep.

See you soon.

Peace!

**Signed:Nick Jonas**

---

Woo!

Next chapter, come on.

Enjoy :)

Oh, and review please!

10 already, nothing I would expect, but I crave your thoughts.

Crave...

CRAVE!

Love you, PEACE!

(P.S, this is part 1. There's another part to 'We Got The Party', I mean, this is kinda about the first day of filming, and the next one involves Billy/Robby. Woohoo! And pranks by Joe, fits by Miley, and a little 'luuuuuuurve' going on between Frankie and Noah. Which one, Foah, or Nrankie? Ha, strange nicknames... What's their nickname? SOOOOO cute...)


	6. We Got The Party Pt 2

**Name: Nick Jonas**

**Date:2/18/07**

We Got The Party Pt. 2.

06/23/07

Today, we finished filming our episode of Hannah Montana. Miley's dad, Billy, came up today and started talking to me and Kevin.

He was telling us about when Joe had accidentally squirted him with orange juice. Kevin started laughing manically, but I just looked around to see where Miley was. Kevin stopped laughing and started staring too, so I punched him and he threw me on the ground and pummeled me. I started yelling and Kevin got up and ran over to Miley. I was so angry, but she just pulled away from him and got a glass of water.

Haha, she doesn't like Kevin! She likes MEEEE!!!!

Well, Joe appeared out of nowhere and started to talk to me, I was like, back up off of me, boy.

"Wow, Emily is an amazing girl. She told me to call her Lola, she loves that name. So I told her to call me Geoffrey and she started laughing and milk came down her nose, and I fell off my chair, I mean, it sounds disgusting, but it was so romantic and I just-" he was saying, so I slapped him and ran off.

The director doesn't like us, as you know, so he was shouting and we got in huge amounts of trouble. Especially since we broke his camera by pouring grape juice into a hole to see if it would come out the other end. Was Joe's idea, so I kinda stood in Miley's dressing room listening to Joe being scolded through the air vent.

Miley was all giggly and flirty around Joe, I was getting kinda annoyed, I mean, she's mine, right?

Joe walked into the dressing room and sat down on the couch, and I made us a cup of coffee each, me and Joe just dig coffee, and Miley just sat there giggling to herself and fluttering her fake eyelashes.

Kevin walked in with a huge bruise on his face. Billy jumped up and was like, "Whoa, Kev, mate, you okay?" and then Kevin had like a major fit and started crying and was hitting the wall, and we were all, umm, what's happening?

And he collapsed in a fit of giggles and started stuttering out his random bruise and crying. Billy phoned for a psychiatrist, but I told him not to and that this was just the normal Kevin. So, Joe got jealous of the random attention and started doing Irish-dancing. I didn't even know he could do that, but he could, and pretty darn well in fact.

Which was terrible, because Miley went, "Wow! Joe, you are amazing!" and I got super jealous. So I did the most weirdest thing ever.

I burst into tears and started having a huge fit.

Kevin said, "Has this kid been at least 5 feet close to junk food or fizzy stuff?" and Joe started laughing, and Miley sat there like, huh?

Billy pulled me off the floor and put me on the couch and I started laughing and I was pointing at Joe, screaming "IDIOTIC HAIR CUTTER WHO EATS BARBIE'S AND WHO'S FART SMELL LIKE ROTTEN FISH!" which is seriously random, coming from me.

Because I'm so not a random guy. But, Emily found this hilarious and started laughing, jabbing her finger in the air and screaming "WOO!".

So I guess it wasn't just me who went crazy.

**I think you should know, diary, that my brother is crazily idiotic, he had a huge fit today. Nick is just, whoa. I think people need to stand far, far away when this guy is let off his leash.**

Kevin is so nice, huh.

Well, Billy had a huge laughing fit when I calmed down and said I looked like an octopus trying to eat a snapping-claw crab. (I know, I don't know what he meant either, but Miley said it meant I looked like a freakish person waving my arms and legs around) I was like yeah, thanks.

Joe found the candy shooting guns as well. He was shooting marshmallows at me, but he jumped on me and tried to stuff them in my mouth, and I was like, "Whoa dude, I'm diabetic, sugar's bad for me." and he was laughing really loudly.

Billy whacked him over the head with this black suitcase and nearly knocked Joe out, and then the director had a fit because it was the case with his scripts and camcorder in, it was seriously funny.

_My head really hurts. Billy hit me with this black case thing, and it had a camcorder and our scripts in, and I was like oww. But Emily kissed it better. Oh, how much I love that sugar sweet cupcake of mine. She's so nice to me. But today, Miley kept hitting on me. She was flirting like crazy, I was like, please go away, leave me alone! I told her to go bug Kevin or Nick, and she laughed like a raccoon and said something about a starfish in an airplane. I don't understand that girl._

...I love it when Miley talks about nonsense. Her dad says she talks about nonsense with her best friends, otherwise she's loving a guy like a monkey loves bananas and throwing it's own poo at each other. I was like, okay, calm down love... But he started laughing and chased Joe around this big tower thing, and then Billy ran into it.

Miley started screaming and jumped on him, but I just laughed and watched Kevin talking to a cat.

---

Frankie just walked up and started singing to me.

"Don't blame it on sunshine, don't blame it on moonlight, don't blame it on good times, blame it on the boogie." he randomly sung.

"Umm, okay."

"Do you like cheese?"

"Yeah."

"Cheese makes me fart."

"Cool."

Frankie ran up to the wall, banged his head on it and fell back wards into a pile of Joe's dirty underwear.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No."

"Oh, well I wanna go."

"Bye."

Then...

He farts. And stinks the room out. How gross is he?

He just ran off. Be right back, I have to hit him. It's something I wouldn't usually do, but this is serious. Frankie's farts are so powerful, he could kill someone.

---

I just pushed him down the stairs. There's only 4 stairs, but you can hear him laughing. He's probably in a state of shock, temporary madness or is seriously finding it funny.

Yuck, my hands stink... Of Joe's underwear. Why?

Oh, that's because Frankie fell in them and I just picked him up! Oh, that's smells gross. Wait, why is there a pile of his underwear in my room?

Excuse me, I must throw it out of the window.

-Sniff-

And I'll wash my hands too.

---

Now that's done, I can get back to my wondrous story.

Well, I think I'll tell you about Kevin's madness. He is in a state of madness all the time, but I mean, sometimes he just goes crazy.

He has a weird sense of humor, too.

There's a lot wrong with the Jonas Brothers, I must say.

Well, he went mad today because me, him and Miley were sitting in her dressing room and he kept hitting on her, so I screamed, "SHE'S MINE!" and whacked him with a cushion, then I fell back wards and landed on something soft and squishy, then I found out it was Miley, so I apologized and Kevin fell on the floor, sniffing a shoe.

First sign of madness.

Well, I was trying to pull Kevin up, then Miley suddenly shouted, "I'm yours?" and I started to laugh, because I was so embarrassed and I pulled Kevin out of the room by his ear. And he went completely crazy.

Well, I shall list the random things Kevin did today.

1. Sniffed random stuff on the floor, like shoes, coats, even cigarette butts.

2. Started chatting up a coat stand.

3. Kissed Emily and called her a frog.

4. Somersaulted down the stairs. (Ouch, that probably hurt so bad, but he said nothing.)

5. Licked Miley's dressing room door.

6. Recorded himself on one of the director's cameras doing the chicken dance.

7. Started stripping.

8. Asked some randomer if they had a dog.

9. Kissed Joe, full on. (I don't know what was wrong with Joe but he didn't pull away, ew! Incest, or what?!)

10. Started measuring my leg.

11. Was talking to his hand, then made out with it, then sung 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston to it.

Yeah, so he has serious issues, I know. What I wonder is what he would do if no one was watching him. He could've done things with Joe... That would add up to GAY and INCEST. If one of them was a girl, maybe even PREGNANCY!

And, he somersaulted down a flight of stairs. Who does that?! Even in a state of madness, I would certainly never do anything like that, ever. If I wasn't there to pull him away, he could've done it again and killed himself. I wouldn't be too upset really, but, then the band would just crumble.

Kevin doesn't like to admit to being mad. Even just a little bit. But, that's coming from the guy who thinks Abi Titmuss would date him.

This is what he thinks:

**I am so not mad. Nick says I am, he says so all the time. It really annoys me, because I know I'm not!! I mean, sure, I've woken in some of the most strangest places, and with such random people, but that was probably because I was drunk/drugged/temporarily crazy because of Nick's annoyingness and Joe's stupidity. That's the answer, duh. Why Nick is so mean to me, I have no idea. But sometimes I want to punch his brains out!!!!!!**

What a wonderful brother. But, see, hear him talking himself, he might've been temporarily crazy. Which is almost the same as temporarily mad.

-Cough- leaving out the bit about my annoyingness and Joe's stupidity of curse -cough-.

Because I'm not annoying, am I? Well, maybe to my brothers, but that would be all.

Billy just rang up. He wants to invite us to a theme park with Hannah. What an amazingly cool man. The way Miley nags about him, I was quite surprised. And I was surprised that they were related, but, yahoo.

It's a common thing I guess. Well, Frankie's crying. Be right back.

Haha, I just thought about when Billy sat on Joe's whoopee cushion. Joe was laughing for hours, and Billy went bright red and his little fake mustache fell off, he was shouting so much. But then he ran out and walked back in minutes later with glasses of soda, and we all started telling jokes.

Miley told one about a blond dummy, Billy said about some crocodile, Joe said one about a baby, Kevin said one about me (pfft. Wasn't funny.) so I said a mega hilarious one. Well, it wasn't even funny, but everyone started laughing.

"Well, one day, Kevin and his girlfriend were walking down the street, when a hobo asked them for loose change, and Kevin said-" then Kevin whacked me over the head, and I started screaming and I whacked him, then I said, "Ouch, you just got me crackers!" and everyone burst out laughing, and I was rolling on the floor, like, oww, me crackers, and they were all laughing and patting Kevin on the back, and he sat there like, "I never said that!" oh, what a stupid day I've had.

Come to think of it, what a stupid few weeks I've had. Billy and Miley are such jokers, you know. I want to marry her, I seriously do.

How I hope she doesn't read this...

I would be so embarrassed.

Damn it, Frankie's crying again.

Well, might as well finish it now.

Bye, diary. Thank you for holding such memories.

I love you!

Peace...

**Signed:Nick Jonas**

---

Woo!

There you go.

Please review, this took me ages, and my Microsoft Word closed so it deleted half of it, so it took forever.

Thank you for reading!

Chloe xxxx


	7. Lola Is A Freak

**Name: Nick Jonas  
**

**Date: 2/24/07**

Lola Is A Freak.

Hello again, wondrous diary. You'll never believe what happened yesterday.

Well, I'll tell you. Lola and Joe kissed!

I can't really explain it, because I wasn't there, but I'll go see if Joe's written it in his diary yet.

---

Yes he has! 3, whole, amazingly detailed (for him) pages of his wonderfully messy handwriting for you, diary, to read over and over again.

---

_I am so happy! I'm skipping on water. I think I might take off and fly all the way to Emily's house. I want to hug her and kiss her forever and ever. I love her I love her I love her I love her I love her. And she loves me. I know she does. Because she does. And she didn't just tell me. She showed me._

_Look, I'll take you back, because I can just see the blank look on your face and you're not very happy with me rambling, eh? Well, at least you can be happy I won't be a sad old man that gathers at a community center every Sunday at 4pm to play bingo, then leaves at 6 so I can get to sleep early to collect my pension on Monday. No, I will be taking me and Emily's kids to a park and bringing them back hyper on ice cream and hot dogs at about 10 and we will all hold a mini rave minus the booze, and we'll sleep in on Monday and all lay in our king sized bed until 4pm, when they'll all do some exercise or after school activity, leaving me and Emily to have some wonderful quality time together. Well, I will take you back now, no excuses. Wait, I have to get Nick. I just found his wonderful yellow and pink safety scissors on my desk. He's been cutting bits out of my dairies again._

_---_

_Haha, I have a lock of Nick's hair right here in my left hand. It's huge. He has a big bald spot now on the back of his head and he's sitting outside, screaming insults at me. He's sitting underneath a big tree. And it's raining. Idiot._

_Yes, yes, the story. _

_Well, me and Lola (or Emily but I will call her Lola because she had a yellow wig on) were sitting in her room when she started laughing at herself. I thought she was going temporarily mad, so I ignored her, but she started to cry. Because she's a bit loopy, I guess. So, I put my arm around her, but she started crying harder, and I didn't know what to do, so I called Hannah and asked her to come in Lola's dressing room. So Hannah started trying to talk to her and calm her down._

_Their conversation made me freak out like crazy. They started talking about weird stuff. Stuff no Joe Jonas wants to know!_

"_Lola, Lola, calm down, okay?" Hannah said._

"_I want an egg." Lola said and I was like, huh?_

"_Yeah, me too."_

"_Hold on tight, it's a roller coaster ride we're on so say goodbye, because I won't be back again." I started laughing, it's my song!_

"_Okay, I know you're having trouble Lola, but, remember, pinkie's up! Right?" Hannah nearly started crying because Lola stood up and started doing the Macarena. It was really weird, Lola so doesn't suit the Macarena._

"_Do you want me to sing for you? I got the best of both worlds!"_

"_No! Stop!"_

"_Let me be your hero!"_

"_Lola!"_

"_Mm bop, bop a doom bop, ooh oh mm bop!"_

"_Please don't!"_

"_I will always love you!"_

"_Shut up! Please just stop being an idiot, Lola! I want to ask you out!" I screamed._

_I was so embarrassed. Like, so so so embarrassed. She just looked at me, and I didn't know what to do, so I just nodded and she stood up and..._

_She..._

_Oh, I can't tell you. It would ruin the moment! I think I might cry with happiness._

_Oh, I have to tell someone! It's eating my brain! It's eating my braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin! _

_It feels like little monkeys are jumping on my head. Little, cute, soft monkeys with little feet and little toes. They are so cute... Oh, yeah, anyway... monkeys jumping on my brain? Pfft. I've officially gone crazy. With love._

_Because she kissed me!_

_SHE KISSED ME!_

_SHE KISSED ME!_

_SHE ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY KISSED THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ME!_

_It was an amazing sight. Hannah took a picture. And I timed! We kissed for 2 minutes and 12 seconds. I had to pull away because I ran out of breath but then we kissed again. _

_And again._

_And again, and again, and again... And heck, we missed out on a whole hour of recording 'We Got the Party with Us' but it was worth it._

_So worth it._

_So tonight, when we watch a movie with Hannah, Nick, Kevin, and his super boring girlfriend, we'll be kissing and hugging so much we'll miss the whole film! And Nick will have to explain what happens! Just because he is so frigid. He wouldn't kiss Hannah even if it was his last day on Earth._

---

Not true. Just to tell you. I would kiss **Miley **forever and ever. Joe is just so stupid he still calls her Hannah. She'll have a fit when she reads this.

Yes, I'm evil enough to show her.

And woo! Movie night's tonight ;). Yeah, okay, I'll get on with it. I just have to cut out another page.

---

_Well, she kissed me. She kissed me long and hard and I nearly had a heart attack. But it was still romantic. I kinda ran out of breath though, like I said, so when I pulled back, and I was choking, she was all "Oh Joe you are the best kisser ever I love you so much and I'm soooooooo happy you wanted to ask me out!" and I was just screaming HELP ME! So Hannah __**eventually**__ pushed me to the floor and was punching me, I was crying literally because she is so blooming strong and Lola was still talking to herself, and I think she only just realized when I was carried out by Billy and was laying on the couch in his room for an hour. But she really is a cutie. _

_She came in when I was asleep and put a bunch of daisies on my chest with a piece of paper that said "I luv u xx" and I was like aww. But then she ran in and started kissing me, telling me that she missed me and all this, I was like, okay, get off me, I'm still recovering from where Hannah punched me. But she got all weird and was like, nah-uh, her name's Miley, not Hannah, you mongrel. And we had this tincy fight about names when Mitchell walked in, and he was like, umm, I left my soda in here, continue._

_But I and Lola were just like, umm, we weren't fighting, it was pretend. But, she is so cute when she blushes. I was like, oh, wow, I couldn't speak or anything, it was amazing, I think I died and went to heaven. Or maybe I am in heaven right now, and I just haven't realized yet._

---

Yeah, I'm stopping there because the next page or 7 are saying stuff like...

---

_Oh Lola, when you came and you kissed me and I died, I thought I was never going to cry again. But then Hannah, she punched me and I cried, and you just talked to the wall. Oh Lola, when you gave me a daisy and I smiled, and you got mad with me because I called Miley Hannah. And then Mitchell, he walked in to get a soda and you blushed, I thought you were as pretty as can be._

---

And who wants to read that rubbish stuff? Especially when I can talk to you about, hmm, I dunno, stuff that isn't about Lola, whose actual name is Emily, GET IT RIGHT BROTHER!

Well, Miley's coming in an hour so we can go to Emily's apartment and watch a movie. Where me and Miley are SO going to get off. Oh, damn it. I forgot about my purity ring. Sorry, Father.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

---

Hannah's here! And yes, it's Hannah this time, so the world can see Hannah and Nick hanging out, not Miley and Nick. She said something about our personal status, I was like, huh? But then Kevin explained to me it meant like it would look better if I was dating Hannah, but I thought she was dating Cody Linely. Haha, my bad. Well, I was upset because I wanted alone time, me and Miley, why did Hannah have to come into it and stink it all up?

Sweet niblets. Oh man, Hannah says that all the time. Brings a wee tear to my eye, know what I'm saying? Oh, the way her nose wrinkles and her eyes shift from one side to the other... Ugh. I can hear Joe shouting my name.

"Nick? Nick? Nick, god damn it where are you?" his voice is all squeaky, I'm guessing Emily is here too. Well, I'll be back in 2 hours, so, don't do anything fun without me!

Sweet niblets, I'm talking to a diary. Humph. I need some more friends.

---

9:47pm

Wow! I'm back. I would've been back like, an hour ago, because the actual film ended at 7pm, but I and Hannah went to get coffee. Normally, I HATE coffee, but Hannah made it taste sweet and wonderful, it made my inside's tingle. But, I think that was just Hannah making me tingle, really.

Well, we got talking, and all these people were taking photos, and I just got so annoyed, you know? I mean, we were trying to talk and spread our love for each other!!!!!!

"GO AWAY! I'M TRYING TO HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION HERE AND ALL I CAN HEAR IS THE CLICK, CLICK, CLICK WHEN YOU TRY AND TAKE A PICTURE! I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK!" I screamed as loud as I possibly could, and more people started taking pictures and writing things down, and Hannah just exploded and started giggling like a maniac, but, they all suddenly went. One of them was singing, "I Found a Golden Ticket" when he was walking out of the door but I tried my best to ignore him.

At that moment in time, I was completely burning up with embarrassment! But Hannah was still laughing, and she had gone red, so it wasn't just me who looked like an idiot.

But we finished up really quickly because we wanted to get home, and we didn't want anyone to see how red we were getting.

It took us about 45 minutes to walk 10 blocks, but we were taking our time deliberately. But then something really unexpected happened... SHE HELD MY HAND!

We walked past Kevin and his girlfriend, who were making out underneath a streetlight, and we were holding hands and it was soooooooo magical. Kevin looked so jealous when he saw me out of the corner of his eye, I could see that his hazel eyes very nearly turned to green. Wow! I love having such power over my brothers. It makes me feel amazingly cool.

So, when we got to Miley's house, and I was so happy to see Billy wasn't around... she... stood on my foot... then apologized...

THEN...

Went inside. Without another word. No goodbye, no thank you, no "I had a really nice time, thanks for the coffee!". I was soooooooo guttered, I really was. Kevin walked up and was like, aww, poor Nick didn't get a kiss, but I just told him where to shove it and jogged back home. Actually, we were staying in a hotel because, as I said, WE HAVE NO HOME, but it's a nice hotel because there are loads of cute girls.

When I walked in mine and Joe's room, I kinda expected him snogging some blond, but no, he was sitting on his bed with a baseball bat in his hand... he looked really scary. But what's worse, is he chased me around the WHOLE hotel and no one did ANYTHING! I was screaming my head off and I jumped into the candy counter girl's arms. She was real cute. But then Joe kind of ran into us and we landed in a heap on the floor and she was screaming and going red and Joe was trying desperately not to laugh. I was just screaming, Joe had elbowed me somewhere that really, really hurts.

So now, I'm sitting here with an icepack in between my legs and with a girl's number written ALLLLLLLLLLLL the way up my arm.

Pinch me, I'm dreaming.

Oww, no, I didn't mean it, Kevin! As if he was just reading over my shoulder. Evil pig. Must punch him sometime. Wow, this all really looks as if I hate my brothers, I know, but I don't. Frankie's okay, the rest can go and live on Mars for all I care. No, no, I'm joking. I do love them. They tell me, like, everything I need to know. Especially about girls.

Yes, I use them terribly, but oh well. They don't know that. Yet...

Hmm, might call that candy girl. The only reason she gave me her number was so I can return the icepack, but, haha, I can use it for evil. Also, she felt sorry for me, and slapped Joe. But then she realized who it was and kissed him. I was so annoyed, I stomped upstairs, shouting OWW every 2 seconds. Joe annoys me, the ladies man.

That's it, I'm calling candy girl. Then maybe I can get a name. And a date. Woo!

Well, I can't be bothered to write anymore. Must rest my fingers otherwise they'll be too tired to dial in candy girl's digits.

Bye, diary!

**Signed:****Nick Jonas**

---

There we go!

Please review. I hope you enjoyed this one! I didn't know how to make it funny, really, this one's really rubbish. I just wanted the world (or the people who read this) know Joe + Lola officially have something. But Nick and Kevin are still madly in love with Miley and are fighting each other for her love. Kevin just randomly started dating a girl to make Miley jealous. Hmm, wonder if it's working??

Tell me what you think! And some ideas, please?

Peace..xx


	8. The Pet Cockroach

The Pet Cockroach

**02/28/07**

Hahaha! I remember when I kept my pet cockroach. It was an amazing day and it will go down in history. Or, maybe just down in my diary. Either way, someone's gonna know, right? Well, I'll tell you. I can't keep such excitement in!! It was precisely... 4 years and 22 days ago. Wow, wow, wow. I loved that cockroach as well... brings tears to my eyes just thinking about him.

His name was Pinky. He was a little brown cockroach; about the size of my little finger.

Okay I'll tell you. I don't want you to be like, eh? And then have to live with the pain of not knowing about Pinky. What a legend.

Well, I'll start with the fact that I was 11. And when I was 11 I was a dork. I thought having an ant arm and a jar of worms was cool. So one day when I was exploring in the garden... (It was 6 in the morning, I don't remember why I was out in the garden then but I know it was hot inside so I went to lie in the grass. Oh, right. Grass is in the garden.)

Yes, so I was lying on the grass, and I saw this cockroach. And, being a dork, I gasped and screamed like a little girl. I ran inside, got a jar, and put the roach inside the jar. Then, I carried it inside, placed it on the table, placed a label on the side and sat there for hours, thinking up a name. I chose the name Pinky because I thought it was funny. You know, Pinky being brown and all. And, it was a guy. Named Pinky! Yeah, I know, but I was 11, I hadn't learned about it properly. I thought gay was funny! Okay, yes, I still do.

Enough of talking about gay, it sends awkward pictures of Joe and Kevin through my mind... well I'll describe what he looked like to you. He looked ugly. There, I said it. He was as ugly as a horse's butt. It was yuck, eww, gross; it would send a gay man into hysterics.

He had yellow and brown eyes. They were like fly's eyes; with the little squares all stuck together and when Pinky looked at me I knew there was about 10 Nick's staring back.

He had the coolest leg ever; a dog that lived next door had bitten him. It was my fault, I accidentally let him out. Well, I figured Pinky would want to jump around a bit... and I lost him. And then he jumped over the fence and the big old mean dog ate his leg. So when he jumped back, like, after hours of super searching around the place, I took a picture of it and stuck it to my wall above his jar. He learned to use only 3 legs, but he used the little stump sometimes and he looked so cool, like a man with three legs. He went up and down and up and down and his wonderful yellow and brown eyes went all smudgy because he's a fast little walker.

Well, I was very good to little Pinky. I made sure he was clean; I made sure he had enough digestive biscuits (what? I was 11, like I had just learned in science 'what cockroaches eat') and I always cleaned out his jar. I even remembered to give Pinky holes in the lid of his jar; sadly, I killed my pet caterpillar Grudge because I forgot caterpillars need air to live. I was so upset; I couldn't bring myself to replace him. Now, I'm ashamed of myself because I'll never know what it looked like to see a caterpillar change into a butterfly. Think how pretty Grudge would've been; prettier than that yucky green slob he was before. Maybe I should've killed him. Maybe he deserved to die. Maybe he was a bully caterpillar. Bah, humbug. Now I hate my own dead creature.

So, I'm not getting too far am I? Well, I made sure he was well looked after. I think; if there was a prize for best kept cockroach, I would've won. My roach would've out-roached all the other roaches. And it had the coolest name ever, and the coolest leg. Oh, and he had the best view from his cage. He could see right into the worm's jar. I kept him right next to the girl worms. I knew he liked one of my worms, Shelia. I put them in a jar together, it didn't work out, and he kinda killed her. I buried her right next to Grudge. Bah humbug, I brought that stupid humbug back up.

Well, you know when you get a dog, and for the first few weeks no one will leave it alone, and everyone's playing with it and wanting to be with it? And then, no one seems very interested, not even the dog cares, and it's suddenly forgotten? Yeah, that happened over here. I tipped out my worms, I threw out my ant farm, and I guess Pinky's jar must've somehow been missed out. I must've put him in my closet or under my bed and forgotten him.

So, 4 years later, me, being the wonderful, smart legend I am, I walk into my room one day to see a cockroach on my bedroom floor. I yell for my mom, she kills it, and then 5 minutes after, I see another one. I forget it, because I couldn't be bothered to move, and then after a while my floor was covered in cockroaches. It was as if my wonderful blue carpet had been dyed brown. I screamed and fainted. I wouldn't go back in my room.

And now, we are staying in a hotel and I have the biggest room, sharing with Joe, and it's my entire fault. Hush, no one knows. And if they found out, I would get too many poundings from my brothers and groundings from my parents I would have nothing to write in this diary. And you need something in you, don't you? You're a diary!!!!!!

_---_

_Hello. I have nothing to say. Today was boring. It's raining outside, all the hot girls are working today, Nick's in mom and dad's room writing, like me, Kevin's got whole claim of the couch and the TV, and Frankie's no fun when it rains. He just talks to himself and makes up weird stories about aliens and dragons. And Jesus. He's recently obsessed with Jesus; he drew a picture of him the other day, yeah, and I'm pretty sure if Jesus himself saw the picture he would be offended. He has a huge head, one eye bigger than the other, a pink dress on, black skinny jeans, a chav cap and gold bling hanging off him. It is offending for a religious man. Dad made him change the caption from 'Jesus' to 'Kevin'. I laughed so hard when he said it, and Kevin got upset and said a whole load of stuff which made dad run out of the hotel. It was pretty mean stuff, but Kevin was upset. I even remember their whole conversation off by heart, it was so funny._

_I shall now tell you it. I think you might like to share my laughs. Actually, I was the only one laughing, but Nick wasn't in the room and mom was just looking at the picture of Jesus/Kevin._

"_Daddy, I drew a picture of Jesus!"_

"_Oh, it's lovely, but it doesn't look too much like Jesus. In fact, it's a little rude to him, so change that to another word."_

"_Like what?"_

"_Umm, change it to Kevin."_

"_What? Why?!" (That's Kevin)_

"_No offense son, but it's more you than Jesus."_

"_Hey, I want to be like Jesus! And I do not look like that."_

"_Yes you do!" (That was me!)_

"_No I do not, dad. That's just horrible."_

"_No it isn't, it's speaking the truth."_

"_Dad, the truth hurts!"_

"_It only hurts when you're being such a baby like yourself."_

"_Oh, yeah, dad? You want to hear the truth?!"_

"_Go on then, I bet I won't act so childish like you."_

"_Well, I cheated on my math homework last night, I asked Nick. I don't eat your casserole. I give it to Joe. I hate having the same name as you. I hate going to church all the time. I have these stupid purity rings and dancing with you at the purity stupid dance was horrible. You stood on my foot twelve times. Twelve, stinking times. You gave me nine blisters when you made me train for that father-son race. And you didn't make Nick or Joe run it. Why didn't you let Joe, he likes to run?! And when you said I was only allowed one drink from Starbucks a day, yeah, I don't drink one. No, I drink three. Every single day, I walk outside, drink three, and walk back to the hotel. And you never know. I laughed at your stupid ness. You thought you could put me away in a cage. Yeah, it's not working. In the last week, I've kissed nineteen girls. All nineteen and you don't know one, not one. They were having a party next door, turns out they were fans, I walked in and joined in. and you thought I was grocery shopping! I made Nick do it for twenty dollars. Dad, dad, dad, what you don't know won't hurt you. But now you know and I hope it hurts because I hate your guts and I hope you know you're one of the worst dads ever and I hope you'll go off and cry now and beg for my apology. But, you're not getting it, old man. You don't deserve it anymore. You don't deserve anything."_

"_Well. I see you've made a point. Excuse me, I have to go off and cry. But I won't EVER beg for your apology. If you don't love me, I won't bother loving you back."_

"_Oh, I'm so scared." _

_Then he turned on the TV and started watching it, he put his feet on the coffee table, and mom only lets us do that when we're upset, angry, or been good. She walked out as well and left me laughing, Frankie talking to himself and building himself a 'rocket to go to Mars to see an alien and then to bring him back for alien testing and cloning', Nick reading and Kevin watching TV and trying not to cry._

"_Nice one, Kevin. You're a classic!" I said it after like 5 minutes, and he threw a pillow at me, but I had to get it out. It was the perfect silence breaker as well, and Frankie started singing._

_---_

Wow. How cool?! I did not miss that. I didn't. I just forgot about it! Yeah, it was a totally amazing fight. Our dad's head just got bigger and bigger and... Ooh, what's this I find? Kevin wrote about it too. Anyway, this was ages ago... it was yesterday. I couldn't find my diary yesterday. Mom had put it in Kevin's room. I know he's read it. Mainly because he'd written 'KEVIN RULEZ' on the back page, but also because he had written 'NO WAY' next to something I wrote last time. It said...

Oh, like you want to know that. I'll just cut to the chase and just tell you what Kevin put. I'll just make sure it's okay... man, that's some TV gold.

---

**I hate my father.**

**03/01/07**

**I still hate my father. Why doesn't he apologize already?! He's killing me. Literally! No one in my family will talk to me now. Well, Joe will, but he keeps bringing it up in every conversation and I don't wanna talk to it. Frankie will talk to me, but he would talk to a hobo on a street bench. So it's pretty quiet today. No one's doing anything today really. My mom's out shopping, Nick's doing his own freaky quiet stuff and Joe's out on a date. Yeah, it's half 8 in the morning but I don't care. Whatever Joe does on a date at half 8 isn't my business. Frankie's not awake and my dad still hasn't come back yet. I'm actually quite scared. My poor father, I scared him away with my horrible truth telling and he still hasn't come home. I bet I made him commit suicide. That's it. I'm getting Starbucks and then never coming back. I'm going to jump off our hotel balcony and then maybe we may have some decency in this world! Our dad always told us that bad people didn't deserve to have good things. I'm bad. I don't deserve these things. I don't even deserve a life! So, whoever reads this first, I hope you love me enough to stop me. If I'm already gone, I'll miss you. Tell everyone I love them. Okay, I'll go. And I want you to know I'm NOT crying. Okay, I am, I'm upset, and a little crazy this morning. Sue me. Bye.**

**---**

...I don't know what to say to that, apart from... WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP. He's sitting on his backside watching a movie with popcorn and Starbucks. The liar! Oh wait; he's getting up and walking towards the kitchen. Be right back, I need a front row seat.

-

WOW. He did it. I can't believe it! 16 minutes ago, dad walked back in. I have their conversation in my head. I'll tell it to you. It's boring, but it adds up what happened.

"Hello son."

"Get lost, alright?"

"No, I love you, I'm sorry I was disrespectful."

"Pfft, you were that alright."

"I know, but so were you."

"No I was not! I told you the truth hurts. You asked for it."

"Yes, I know. And I am truly sorry."

"Yeah right. I can never trust you, old man."

"Uh, just... mm, don't call me that."

"Why, is it disrespectful?"

"Well, yes."

"Good."

"I'm sorry! You're tearing me apart. You look like you've been crying too."

"No! Umm, no. I was chopping onions."

"Okay. I believe anything you say. You're my son, I love you. Do you forgive me?"

"Sure. I was a jerk."

"No, you weren't. You were being a boy."

"I was a jerk."

"No."

"I love you dad."

"I love you too. I hope we're cool?"

"No dad. Please don't."

"I'm so happy. You actually love me."

"Yeah..."

And then dad left, and I was in my room, spying, because I'm a rebel, haha, and he walked out onto the balcony. I went to see what he was doing and he had one leg over the side and was climbing over. I found it so funny, I couldn't go and get him in, and I just fell to the floor with laughter. He heard me and stopped and came back in and started crying and crying and crying. He's still crying. Okay, it was only 16 minutes ago, but it was hilarious! I couldn't believe it. He's saying random stuff now. I just heard him shout, "I'LL DYE MY HAIR BLUE, I WILL! I'LL GET YOU A BAD CHRISTMAS PRESENT NEXT YEAR NICK. I'M TURNING JEWISH. I'LL BE CELEBRATING HANUKKAH WITHOUT YOU LOT, I'LL GET A JEWISH GIRLFRIEND AND I'LL DITCH YOU ALL AND GET MARRIED IN AUSTRALIA. THEN I'LL BECOME A DIVER AND I'LL DIVE FOREVER AND I'LL SWIM WITH DOLPHINS WITHOUT YOU!"

I love my brothers.

**Signed:****Nick Jonas**

---

_**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Suicidal Kevin. Jewish Kevin. Kevin getting married in Australia. Kevin diving. Kevin swimming with dolphins. Some amazing pictures going through my mind. HAHA. It's hilarious, don't ya think? I love writing these. I can try and be funny even though I know I'm not. Go Pinky! I like Pinky. He's cool. And that is the reason they are currently living in a hotel. If I ever mentioned a house before, ahem, I mean NICK mentioned a house, he means hotel. Because he accidentally got the house infested with cockroaches. When it says it could send a gay guy into hysterics, picture a gay guy off TV or one you know, then picture him meeting a cockroach. It would involve a lot of jumping up and down, flapping his arms and screaming at the top of his voice. Get it?**_

_**That's enough blabber now though, please review and tell me what you think. It isn't funny, I know, please don't lie to make me feel better :)**_


	9. The Unicorn, The Monkey And The Pig

**Just a little note before I do this. I know a lot of you want Niley, but one reviewer, BookwormX0X0 gave me a great idea, so I kinda went with the flow and did this. I know you kinda didn't expect it, it's a bit strange, so I thought I mgiht warn you. Also, I dedicate this chapter to BookwormX0X0 because of the amazing suggestion. Thanks, BookwormX0X0!!! If I knew your name, I would say it, but I don't, so sorry about that.**

**And remember that Joe's diary is in italics and Kevin's is in bold in this. **

**Please enjoy reading :) **

---

The Unicorn, the Monkey & the Pig

03/02/07

Hey diary. I'm so upset. Today, my mom grounded me for not doing the dishes. I gave her a perfectly good reason; Joe was sitting on me and trying to make me eat cushion. But she told me I was irresponsible and I had all day to do it, but I was clearly traumatized after having a face full of butt, but no, she wasn't having it today. She's still angry at Kevin for trying to jump off the balcony. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I haven't gotten over that. He keeps hitting me and blaming me, but I think it's so funny that he tried to jump off that I'm gonna wet myself one of these days.

Well, today's gonna be real bad. Mom set the rules straight: no friends, no talking to my brothers, no going out of my hotel room, I'm allowed water and juice to drink and I'm not allowed to use my cell phone. And I'm not allowed any sugar. At ALL. I've eaten an apple and a granola bar so far today. I'm going to starve one of these days.

I might call that candy girl. I still haven't. I still have her ice pack, since it's been way too funny here to leave and give it back to her. Oh, my mom has my phone. Hmm...

I wonder where Joe is. His bag is lying on his bed and I can see his iPhone just there. Yep, I can see it. Hmm, he won't mind if I borrow it...

Haha! Here it is. Her number...

Be right back diary. :)

-

WOW!

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW AND DOUBLE TRIPLE WOW WITH SUGAR, CREAM AND A BIG FAT CHERRY ON THE TOP!

I have a date this Saturday! Her name's Bridget and she said on Saturday I can return her ice pack to her because she's having lunch there. She was going with her friend, but her friend's gone to hospital so she asked if I wanted to come.

I can't believe it! A) She was actually FLIRTING with me. B) She's 3 years older than me! C) She said my hair was cute. Not that I care or anything, because hair is hair, but wow!

Oh my god. Sorry God, but I have to go against your wonderful rules for a second.

I gotta pick my outfit NOW. I have to go and see her.

I want to tell Miley, she'll be so... oh. Miley. I forgot about her!

She'll be crushed that her soul mate has a girlfriend.

Wait a second; I have to ask my mom for the phone...

-

Yes! She gave it to me! The lie about Miley needing her $750 earrings by tonight worked. I phoned her and told her I needed to see her. My mom says I have to drop them off now. I'll just put on my sneakers and give you a bit of Joe's diary to entertain you while I'm out.

---

_Kevin tried to commit suicide today. I missed it because I was showing a girl how guys from America kiss. She was from Germany and she was so cute. She hardly spoke English and I was rubbing it in her face that England thrashed them in WWI and WWII. She didn't get what I was saying, and I was shouting ENGLISH CHICKS RULE and she just kissed me. Germans are such good kissers. If she has a brother, I'll let you date him. Or if you're a guy, sorry, she has no sister. You can turn gay if you want._

_...maybe we should kiss. You know, to break the tension..._

_Damn. Kevin just walked in and saw us kissing. He looks like the living dead. His hair's sticking up everywhere and his face is a greenish color. He looks upset, I feel for him. Not. He was the one committing suicide here, not me. _

_I want another girlfriend. Emily's gone to her Gran's house in Canada and won't be back for another week. When she comes back she said she'll turn up on the doorstep with taffy, but it doesn't ease the pain. I'm lovesick. I need another kiss from that hot girl! Or I might do a Kevin. Oh, that balcony is just calling my name..._

_-_

_I just jumped. I'm a ghost now, I just picked up a pencil and now I'm going to write my last words. I'll miss you, Frankie. You're a great guy and I think you'll be a great drummer in the Jonas Brothers. Nick, I always loved you. You are so cool and your hair is better than mine by far. I'm sorry I sat on your face all those times and I'm sorry I chased you with that baseball bat. I'm sorry if I ever offended you or your pout. Kevin, I took a page from your book and it turned out great. Now, I'm hurting in all different places and I'm missing you and Emily more than ever. I do love you. I look up to you so much, I mean, the first time my voice broke or a girl rejected me, you were the one I came to for advice and you let me cry onto your shoulder. Mom, dad, don't go into lives of craziness, keep the Jonas kids as stupid as ever and make sure they don't turn out like me. Emily, you are my one true love but you went too far. You left without saying anything and you ripped my heart out. I still love you and I always will. Never have I loved a girl like you. I'm sorry I kissed that German girl, but she kissed me first and I was missing you too much. I guess it helps than I offended her and sad bad stuff about her country. You are the one I need to help me live. Now you're gone, so am I. Bye everyone else. Fans, you're great, I hope you'll still listen to Nick and Kevin's band. Diary, you were great up until now. Now you're useless and you're just ready for someone to pick you up and sneak a peak at my secrets. I'll rip them out... oh. Nick's cut most of them out. Oh well, thank you Nick, for keeping me secrets in your diary. I love you. I have just declared I'm gay. I'm gonna go and chase after a topless angel now. Have fun with your living lives. Goodbye from your gay brother._

_---_

**Hello. I've just heard Joe's killed himself. I checked in his room, and he's lying in his bed, crying. I think he's missing Emily. She phoned a minute ago, and I was gonna give him the phone, but dead people can't talk on the phone. I think he must've called her before because she asked if Joe needed anything. I told her he was having a moment and to phone back in 5 minutes. She said she was about to play her Gran in a knitting competition, I was so interesting, our conversation was. I had to hang up before I turned into a Gran myself. Emily knits, wears glasses on the rare occasion, wears purple hair, dresses like a colorblind teenager and says the stupidest things at the stupidest times. That sums up my Gran. My Gran's holidaying in Malibu right now. I dunno what's she doing, but she didn't call yesterday. Mom says the phone line from here to there is really really bad, but she could at least try. Maybe she has, but I dunno.**

**-**

**I'm so bored. There's no TV on. I crumble without TV, it's my rock. If no one invented TV, I would probably have to collect stamps. Little stamps that look like I'm staring at a television screen. I've been put in a trance by a TV before. It made me go and buy a muffin and a frappucino from Starbucks. They're really nice, all bubbly and creamy. I felt sick afterwards, but it was all good. I just threw up on Joe's bed.**

---

I'm back. I regret my last moves. I just told Miley about Bridget. Okay, I'll take you back.

I walked up to her room, Billy just let me in and told me she was watching cartoons in her room, so I just walked in and sat down. She started talking to me about when the episode of HM was going on TV, and I just blurted it out. I said, "Miley." And she nodded and I felt like crying, I really did. I didn't want to hurt her. And, she looked so pretty and cute, she was smiling and she was trying to watch TV and look at me as well. "I have to tell you something, but I don't know how."

"Okay..."

"Do you like me?" slap me, please. I'm an idiot. I don't know why I said that, I just had to know, I guess.

"Well, yeah. You're a nice guy."

"No, I mean as more than a friend."

"Oh... yeah, I do."

"I thought so."

Then she leaned in and...

"No, that's not what I mean. We can't date or anything."

"But, why?"

"A girl called Bridget asked me on a date yesterday. I wasn't thinking... I said yeah. I didn't want to tell you, but I thought you should know; I don't want you to get hurt."

Then she walked out in tears. I thought it would be a good time to leave, so I went downstairs and Billy was eating muffins. I stole one for me and one for my two suicidal brothers and walked out slowly. He shouted at me and called me a sneaky brownnoser or something like that but I couldn't be bothered to laugh.

And now I'm here.

-

I'm cuddling up to Joe's stuffed unicorn. I need more company. I just went and got Frankie's pet pig and Kevin's cuddly monkey. They're all so comforting. I never liked cuddly toys, so I never remember snuggling up to them. I might even need to attack Frankie's collection of Care Bears, I'm feeling so low. I might cry. In fact, I am crying. Yes, I admit it, there's one lone tear rolling down my cheek, now as I write. I would wipe it away, but that would mean I would have to either drop the toys or stop writing. I'm not stopping; I'm on a roll here.

I just named all their toys.

Monkey - Crying

Pig – Angry

Unicorn – Miserable

3 Care Bears – Depressed, Upset and Heartbroken.

Creative, hmm? I need some coffee... all my coffee's been used. I'm upset. I'm not allowed to go get some either. And it has caffeine in it. Oh, I understand. I understand all right. My mom's gone and hid the coffee so I won't get hyper on caffeine! Oh, thanks mom, you've sent me into depression. A deep, cold depression and I'm coming out of it. And I'm not blaming my stupid diabetes for this.

Crying, please help me. Angry, I need you. Miserable, please listen to me. Depressed, why am I such a failure? Upset, do you think Miley still loves me? Heartbroken, was this worth it?

I'll never know the answers. All these toys are ignoring me for giving them such rubbish names. I'm so upset. That is terribly awesome. I'm going to sleep now, WITH Miserable, Upset and Heartbroken, the rest are going with Frankie tonight. I hope they sleep well.

I think I might suffocate myself with the pillow.

I might jump off the balcony like Joe and Kevin. It's raining outside, so it won't hurt as much when I hit the ground. Also, it's freezing down there; I think it might snow soon, so I'll die of frostbite if the fall doesn't work.

-

Now its 6:00pm, no one's around, they're all downstairs having dinner. They're so lucky; Bridget's working in the restaurant tonight. Joe said he'll talk to her for me. I know that means he'll kiss her, I'm not stupid. So I gave him a dead arm before he left. I'll just ring Bridget with my iPhone, yeah; mother gave it back just in case there was an emergency.

-

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Nick."

"I'm working!"

"I know I just had to talk to someone."

"Oh honey, what's wrong?"

I love this girl, you know. She's so kind.

"Well, I can't really say."

"Okay let me guess. Some girl, who you liked, liked you back but you already agreed to go on a date with me."

"How did you know?"

"It's obvious! You didn't want to tell me. It was either something embarrassing or it was about a girl. You didn't sound embarrassed, so I guessed."

"Wow. You know, I really do love you."

"I love you too Nick. Well, I gotta go now. I think Joe wants to kiss me."

"Yeah, he does. Please don't. He'll brag to me if you do!"

"Don't worry, I don't like him. Well, I kissed him, but he's a bit of an arse."

"I know. Okay, I'll let you go. Bye!"

"Bye, honey."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Aww!!!!!!!!! True love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not.

Me and Miley equals true love.

Not this hocus pocus.

Well, I better leave.

Goodbye. My pillow is trying to lie on my face. I better let him; he's a bit aggressive sometimes. He might stab me if I don't do as he says.

X

**Signed:****Nick Jonas**

**---**

**There you go. Any questions, just ask in a review. Thanks for all your reviews already, I know compared to quite a lot it's not many, but it's enough to keep a smile on my face. It's just so... Wow, really emotional... Okay, I'm not too deep, so I'll just sayt he word I was trying to describe sensibly... it's just all so AWESOME!**

**Oh, and Joe and Kevin aren't really dead. Joe was mucking about... and Kevin really did try and commit suicide. God, that puts a smile on my face every time I think of that. It's hilarious!!! **

**Love Chloe xxx **


	10. The Big Day

**Note: Hello, Boxing Day is just so great for writing :D I wrote all this in a few hours, I know it's quite long, I got carried away and I got so.. Into it and I didn't know how to stop. Well, at least there's Niley in this one.**

**Hmm, oh yeah, answer to Boi H8er, no Joe isn't gay. It mentions him being gay (again) in this chapter, I guess Nick's just a fan of gay. I think you got the gay thought form his diary when he think he's just commited suicide. So no, he isn't gay, he was upset and joking. This chapter can be dedicated to you and your wonderful gay. :)**

**Okay, now read on :)**

---

The Big Day

­03/03/07

Just 4 more days until I go to dinner with Bridget... God, help me make the right decision, do I go or don't I? I can't write right now. I'm too depressed. Also, I have chores. I have to clean the kitchen, vacuum the bedrooms and then buy Kevin's Starbucks, because he can't do it himself, he's got a mental condition (well I said he did and he threw a glass across the room and burst into tears. He's going to the doctors today to be checked. I can't wait for the answer!)

Oh, Joe just walked in with a list of Kevin's chores. We have to split it, since Kevin's gone cuckoo. So, I have to choose 2 of his chores. I have a choice between cleaning the toilets, making the beds, cleaning the lounge or doing the ironing. Oh, I'll choose making the beds and cleaning the lounge. Joe happily accepts because he pinned up a picture of Jessica Alba in the toilets and he loves doing the ironing, because he has finally worked out how to crease his name into everyone's clothes apart from his.

Once I had 'Joe is cool' creased into one of my shirts, he got grounded for a week! (it was because I only had 5 minutes to change before our concert and I was 15 minutes late because none of Joe's shirts were small enough for me, and the 3 that did fit were hideous. I settled with the pink shirt with brown edges, simply because the blue and black striped leather jacket with silver stitching was disgusting and the brown and red checked one... I'm not saying anything. I don't even know why he owned such a shirt. Oh, I have to go. Kevin's about to leave and I have to laugh at him, I wonder what else he'll break...??

­03/04/07

It's just 3 more days now. My nails are ultra tiny now, I've been biting them like crazy and they don't half hurt. My little finger was bleeding this morning; I was biting it all night, worrying about how Miley was. I hope she's okay. I was dreadfully selfish, I didn't even think that maybe she liked me back. I was a fool. I don't even like Bridget in that way.

It might be one of those awkward relationships like Joe and Mandy. (She's been a family friend all the way back since I was, like, 5. Her and Joe dated but they figured it was awkward, also I kept teasing them. I liked Mandy too; and I punched Joe whenever they kissed. Hey, I was a kid, a dork, I didn't know any better. I thought older women were cool.) So I think I'll cancel our date. I can't go, I simply can't. I love Miley, why can't you just face it! Why do you have to throw it all in my face, tempt me with little things which will blow up and attack my emotional side of things.

Why did I have to say yes to Bridget? Why am I such an idiot? Why did I ignore the feelings I was feeling? I knew they were there, I knew I liked her and all, but why? Why, why, why? Why do I feel like killing myself? BECAUSE I'M A JERK, I DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING AT ALL, ESPECIALLY NOT THE BEAUTIFUL MILEY AND THE AMAZING BRIDGET. ALL RIGHT, THIS TIME, I'M DYING AND NO ONE WILL SAVE ME, NO WAY NO WAY!!!! P.S I LOVE YOU ALL! WITHOUT YOU I WOULDN'T BE HERE TODAY... oh, that wasn't too amazingly comforting for my family, friends and fans, eh.

­03/05/07

I tried calling Bridget today, but it kept saying she was engaged. At first, I was so angry; I thought it meant she was actually engaged to someone. I left her 9 messages telling her to call me. I just crawled under my duvet and laughed to myself like a mad man when I realized it meant she was busy talking to someone else.

She's rung me about 20 times, but I'm not taking any of her calls. My iPhone is boring me so much now. All it does is tell me that Bridget's ringing. Well, you know what? I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! I'm going to chuck it at the wall... there. Now, it's broken. Hahahahaha! Now, she can't ring me even if she wanted to!!!!!!!!

Well, she could, but it would say something like, "Error. This boy has just thrown his phone at the wall. We cannot connect you to his phone. If you would like, you can contact him with an email." I'm guessing it did tell her that, she just sent me an email. Great. I'm not replying. Okay, yes, I am. I replied saying, "This is an automatic message. This guy is heartbroken and he's officially gone crazy. He wants you to know he will always care about you." Now, I'm returning to my bed in a hope that this is some crazy nightmare and I'll wake up. I'll wake up from my bed, because it's heaps comfier than this chair.

03/06/07

Damn it. This isn't a nightmare. It's reality. Oh god, oh god, oh god, what am I going to do? It's Friday, there's nothing to do at home. Joe and Kevin are out doing something called male bonding, but I'm pretty sure they're just locked up in a janitor's closet somewhere having gay sex. Mom and dad are out too, they said they were just going for some peace. I asked peace from what, because they took the loudest thing on earth with them: Frankie. Why he went, I dunno, but I guess this is my last day of grounding so I'm okay. If only I was grounded tomorrow as well, then I couldn't go. Hmm, I think I might just tell Bridget the exaggerated truth. Here goes, I'm going to call her.

B: Hello?

N: I have something to say.

B: What would that be, my lovely?

N: Bridge, I have to be honest with you. I'm...

B: You're what? Not breaking our plans, are you?

N: No, I'm... umm, I'm... Grr- (I was about to say grounded, but Bridget interrupted me and I forgot what I was saying, so I said the first thing that came into my mind. I'm an idiot, an idiot, idiot, idiot.)

B: Spit it out!

N: I'm... err, gay?

B: You are?

N: Yes. I'm so sorry.

B: Err, why?

N: I found out I'm in love with... Joe.

B: Your brother?!

N: NO! Err, yes, I am in love with him. I'm so sorry again.

B: Oh, okay... are you sure?

N: Yes. I feel all tingly in my... err, manly parts when I see him.

B: Hmm, nice to know...

N: So, I can't go out with you tomorrow. Maybe Kevin will be interested?

B: Err, no thanks. I'll visit my friend in hospital instead.

...I GOT NERVOUS! I didn't know what to say. It was really freaky, I mean, her voice is so... wow, and I didn't know what else to say. And I know I said I was admitting the exaggerated truth, but not ONE WORD of that was true. He does NOT make me tingle.

-

I feel so bad now. I'm a failure in the world of love. I want to go see Miley. Oh, I forgot, she hates me! I'm a failure as a person, too. I'm going to sit on the balcony. I hope my tragic life doesn't send me over that balcony one of these days. Goodbye.

03/07/07

I called Bridget. I told her I lied. I told her yesterday, just after her afternoon shift on the candy counter was over. I told her and she laughed and laughed and said I was the cutest thing. I tried my best to laugh too, but secretly my heart had just shattered into millions of pieces. So, my god, help me, please. I have to leave in 59 minutes. I dunno what to wear. I don't know what to do, or anything. I'm gonna cry.

I have to go. I can't stand her up. She's a girl, they hold grudges. Oh my god, what have I gotten myself into???????

Okay, I have to leave in 54 minutes. How come she asked me out? Why? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! I guess it's my fault. I accepted the offer, and I told Miley. Why am I such an idiot?! I thought famous people had good lives. Why, why did I think that?! It's TORTURE. Okay, so I have the money and I get millions of fans running after me on the streets, I get the nicest clothes and I could give millions of dollars to charity and stop world hunger (but I don't) but it's still pure torture. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish I was in school right now. Because I don't want to live my entire life with a packet of cookie dough under my duvet now, do I?! Right now, all I want is to be in school, doodling over my math book, thinking all this through without having to drop the pencil every now and then because my hand is cramping up, because then I can come up with the answer, and pass a note to Miley (who would be sitting behind me, nudging her foot into my back) saying I loved her and not Bridget. Not, smelly, smelly Bridget who would be a few years above us and be strutting around like she owns the place.

No, I'm being mean, Bridget is amazing. She's pretty, she's funny, she's always smiling and she's incredibly smart. She won't do anything that she doesn't want to and she doesn't just date any old loser. Oh wait, yes she does. She asked me out on a date. I can't believe how this has worked out. I still have 46 minutes to figure out if I can stop my life from falling apart... I'm so mad now. I can't figure out my life, there's nothing to figure. There's nothing, nothing, NOTHING. I can't do anything with my life because I've mucked it up and I have to wait for this to blow over. Urgh, I just want to... punch the wall. Yeah, see? Here I go. I'm dropping the pencil... oh my hand hurts. I'm going to get Bridget's ice pack out of the freezer again. Why did you make me do that, diary? Do you just want to hurt me? Or do you just want to drive me into madness and make me eat dog poo with a shovel?

In fact, I don't think you deserve to be called a diary. No, you don't deserve to be a diary. All you are, you are just a blue, shiny, plastic notebook where's I've scrawled _Nick Jonas_ in the bottom left hand corner and written _My Diary Rules _across the first page. I can just rip out that page and scrub off my name and you'll be a book, nothing more, nothing less.

Oh great, I wrote it in permanent marker and the page won't rip. So I guess I'm stuck with this stupid diary that's just pulling my life apart. Why do I listen to you?? 35 more minutes... 35 more minutes... 35 freaking minutes!!!!!!! Ah, now it's 34. Diary, I can't do this. I have tears in my eyes and my bladder is about to burst. I know I can just go to the toilet, but no, I need to write in you for another 34 minutes. Oh no, wait, now it's 33. Hey, but... I need an outfit. I need a hairbrush. I need to brush my teeth. I need... I need to shower! Oh my god! I'm not ready! How can I do this? How?! I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy, I need shower gel... right I've got that. I need a towel, shampoo, I need a sponge, I'll need aftershave, god, what am I gonna do? She'll look beautiful, and I'll look like a hobo. She'll spy on me through a telescope, decide she's too amazing to be seen out in public with me (which she is, I've now decided.) and she'll just leave and I'll eat on my own, maybe surrounded by a few crazy freaks who either jump up and down screaming or stand there, staring at me, or they just point a finger in my direction and don't say anything, they just leave their mouths hanging open. I find that scary, but they probably won't recognize me under the dirt and the un-brushed hair and the scruffy hobo jacket.

-

Oh wow.

I just walked back in from my date, literally.

B: Oh, Nick, I thought you weren't going to show! (I was 10 minutes late because I was worrying so much and I was worried she wouldn't find my hair cute anymore, so I was moping around on my bed, and I didn't even brush it out, but she never said anything. In fact, she hugged me tight and she was blowing on my hair, maybe it needed blowing on. I liked her more after that and I even smiled through my worry.)

N: Sorry, I was so nervous.

B: You know what; I think this should just be a date as friends. You're nervousness is making me very nervous too. Also, I didn't feel so great about this either. I was going to cancel as well. But when you called, I could tell something was up, so...

N: Why did _you_ want to cancel? Is it my hair?!

B: What? No! Well, my ex has been giving me a hard time, saying I'm not allowed to date anyone or he'll do something bad to me. He's quite scary, he's changed, and I was on the phone to him when you kept calling and leaving me messages. I was telling him I could do what I like, and he was yelling at me and I sat there, crying. I emailed you telling you that we couldn't do this; I guess you didn't read it. Your auto message made me smile though, and I thought I had to go on this date, not just for you, because I knew you didn't want to go but I thought if I went you'd go and that'd boost your confidence, but for me as well because I need to have my own space, and my ex doesn't own me.

N: Well, not really.

B: So, can we be friends?

N: oh, you're so smart. But, now I guess you want to hear my side of the story?

B: Only if you want to tell me, although I'd like to know.

N: Oh, well I've been crushing on this girl, but I didn't think she liked me back, so I said yes to you and told her, and she got ever so upset and I haven't heard from her. I called her house, but her dad picked up and said he didn't talk to brownnosers. (She laughed when I said that, and I couldn't help but smile because she was so beautiful, even though it killed me to actually hear the story of my love life with Miley.) I called her cell heaps of times too, but she just rejected each call. I'm so worried about her.

B: You know what, I think after our meal I'll drive you to her house, okay? And then I'll go talk to my ex, and I'll pick you up and we'll talk about what happened. Yeah?

N: Of course, Bridget. This is basically what I wanted the whole time. Just you and me, being friends, hanging out, talking, messing around, I've always wanted a friend like that but never been able to have one.

B: But, why? Did you get bullied at school?

N: No, I didn't go to school for long. Remember, I'm famous. I got home schooled most of my life. Right now, all I want is to be able to go to school and be a kid.

B: I'll help bring some of that back to you. I'm still at school, you can come in some days, if you'd like. We can go out for lunch and just, be friends, hanging out, talking, and messing around, just like you want. It's just like I want too.

N: Great. It sounds like fun. Now, I think we better order our meals.

B: Sounds great.

-

I can't believe she took it so well. In fact, I don't think she even cared I liked someone else, but I don't think she realized I was hurt she didn't want to go out with me either. I felt even sadder when I thought how selfish I was being, thinking about me and no one else. I nearly started crying on the spot, but I rushed to a table quickly and used my fingers to wipe away the tears that were forming, but so it looked like I was itching my eye.

The food was incredible; I hadn't been to the hotel restaurant before because I was grounded before. But it was really good.

There wasn't much talk while we were eating, because we were eating, obviously, but the silence wasn't awkward, it was just friendly silence. You know what I mean? It was like it was nice and quiet, not like we didn't know what to say.

The drive to Miley's house was okay as well, she put the radio on and we just listened, and I dreamt of running into Miley's open arms, begging for forgiveness and telling her I didn't want Bridget as anything more than a mate, and telling her I was sure Miley was my soul mate. When Bridget stopped outside the right house, I didn't know what to do or say. We ended up with a friendly hand shake, but I was quite disappointed that I felt I couldn't give her a hug, not even a friendly one. I opened the car door and said, "Bye, best friend." And she smiled and honked the horn, telling me to hurry up.

Then something weird happened. I reached over and hugged her as tight as I could, and she started returning the hug, when I saw over Bridget's shoulder a guy walking up to Miley's front door. I got out quickly, waving slowly, not taking my eyes off this guy. He had no paper bag, no delivery, no suit, no costume; no nothing.

I stood behind a neighbor's garden wall, and I watched as Miley opened the door and let the guy in. I just thought, 'this is my only chance to stop her from dating that guy.' So I ran up to her, pulled her out of the doorway and down the 2 stairs in front of her house and I dipped her down romantically and kissed her. She was so speechless when she pulled away, but I saw her smile before she took on her serious face again.

"No, Nick, I can't do this. You broke my heart really, really badly. I can't forgive you, not ever." She said before walking up the steps, but I dropped to my knees and...

I CRIED. I cried in front of the love of my life. I cried and cried and I felt her pick me up and guide me inside. She sat me on her wonderful red leather couch and she kicked the other guy out. She put her arm around me and laughed.

"This isn't funny, Miley. This is how I feel. This is always how I feel when I think about how I screwed it up. I thought you just should know, I mean, if you asked me out when I came round, what would hurt more? Hearing me tell you straight out or hearing me tell you when you asked me?" I shouted through my stupid little girly tears.

She looked like she was going to cry too, so I was happy it wasn't just me. She nodded her head and looked away, and I stopped crying and I wiped my eyes and cheeks slowly, leaning back. Then I heard a tiny little gasp, and a little sob, and I put both my arms around Miley and I let her rest her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry; I just didn't really realize how much it would hurt you. You listen to my diary, and you'll see how unhappy it's made me. I'm just so, so sorry Miley. I never wanted to hurt you like this. I've liked you for ages and ages and I don't know how I'll cope if you won't like me back. Please Miley, you're the one that I want." I said quietly, and she just cried harder.

I didn't know what to do, I wanted to cry myself, but I had to be the man here.

"I do like you. I liked you when I first heard you talk to me. I think I owe my daddy a lot, don't you think? He told me to sign up for going on Hannah Montana, he helped me make it as big as this and he agreed to let us sing that song together. He wrote the song for me, but when the producers started introducing more and more other celebrities on the show, my daddy offered the song up for me to sing with some other singer. When they chose you, I didn't know you too well, but it was the right choice. Nick, you've got the greatest band, the greatest brothers, the greatest life... and now, you've got the greatest apology. I'm sorry too, I guess i just thought I could have you for myself, I never said 'Oh Nick, I like you, wanna go get coffee and make ourselves official?' when I could have, you should've gone out with that other girl."

I shook my head but I smiled, watching her look around nervously, as if I might say 'yeah, I should date Bridget.' And walk out, but instead I laughed quite strangely.

My laugh started getting louder and louder, and I had to let go of Miley and hold my sides because I was laughing so hard. I guess my laugh was infectious, because Miley started laughing too. She turned around and I saw her eyes had gone all misty and her cheeks were damp, but her mouth curved upwards and her teeth were shining in the light of her lounge area in her room.

Wow.

We finally declared our love for each other, and even had a laughing fit.

Well, I left after a few more minutes of laughing hysterically (so hysterically Miley fell to the floor and started gasping for air, and I was just lolling about on the couch, feeling tears of laughter falling onto the leather.) and after another long, complicated kiss. It wasn't complicated as such, but her lips were dry and rough and mine were wet and salty, and we managed to kiss for 4 minutes without breathing or moving. I felt complete.

Standing outside her house, waiting for Bridget to come pick me up, I couldn't feel happier. I had Miley as a girlfriend, I had Bridget as a best mate, my brother's were actually alive and not suicidal and now Bridget was going to be happy because she was talking with her ex and settling to an agreement.

Well, I felt like that until I saw Bridget's car come along. When she pulled up, I couldn't hear the music that was in the car when I got out earlier. When I opened the door, she was crying and she had a large bruise on the side of her face. She was very pale and she had the hiccups. I reached out and I held her hand firmly, but she pulled away quickly, as if she thought I was going to hurt her.

"Bridget?" I whispered, and she just collapsed on me, bursting into tears and screaming and screaming, and all I could do was pat her back and try and feel her pain.

After about 10 minutes of crying into my lap, she straightened herself up and drove the 5 minute drive to the hotel and waited for me to get out.

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked politely, opening the door and stepping out, blinking in the light.

"I'm going... oh, I can tell you, can't I? Can you keep a secret? My ex, he hit me. He gave me this bruise here, and he gave me a lot more, he even threatened to stab me. I have the tiniest cut across my stomach where he accidentally dropped the knife on me..." she started explaining, and when she mentioned the cut, I reached for her top and yanked it up quickly. "No, don't look!" she screamed, trying to pull her top down, but I held it up higher, and I saw her whole stomach was bandaged up. Looked up to see tears forming in her eyes, and she raked her fingers through her hair nervously and fiddled with the gear stick, sniffing roughly a few times.

"What else happened?" I whispered after a few moments, and she burst into tears again, I just felt so sorry for her.

"He said so much stuff to me. I told him I hadn't dated anyone since him, but that I didn't want him anymore, I told him me and you were just friends, but he didn't believe me. He called me horrible things, such as a cow, a pig, a slut, a retard, and he knows how much that hurts me because my grandfather, who is very close to me, is retarded. I just can't believe he's so mean to me, but... I have to go to the hospital. That's where I'm going now. I also feel a little woozy, I don't know if that's from blood loss or from the drink he gave me."

I nodded and waved slightly, feeling like I wanted to go and cry. It was so horrible; and Bridget was so amazingly nice.

-

I just got a text from Miley, telling me she won't say anything about our relationship or tell anyone about me crying, not until I'm ready to. Wow, she just is amazing.

Oh wait, I just got another one. It says, "_Hey Nick, I just wanted to tell you, just in case you were wondering, that guy at the door was to make you jealous. I got so upset that you were going on a date with someone else; I spent the last few days flirting with some guys and fans I know and have spoken to recently and he seemed most interested and the most nice and laid back. I didn't even like him; I just thought it might make me feel better. Love Miley xx"_

I laughed as I read this. I also laughed because Joe ran into our room, singing Canada's national anthem and he started packing his bag.

"Where are you going, Joe?" I asked all confused, and the answer surprised me the most.

"To Kevin's room." Hmm, to do what I wonder?

"Oh, so instead of your 'male bonding' you were having gay sex in a janitor's closet?"

"Uh, yeah, can you pass me that box?"

"Hahahahahahahahaha!"

And then he walked out of the room, and I just watched him.

"_Did it make you feel better? And you're right, it worked. If I didn't see that guy walk up to your front door, I think I would've chickened out and jumped back in the car and drove off. You don't have to worry if you see me out with Bridget by the way, we're just mates now. Best mates, in fact. I hope you never meet that guy again though. He must've thought you were a freak anyway, inviting him round and then dragging some crying dork into your room and kicking him out!"_

Man, my brother's an idiot. It's obvious he didn't listen to what I had said, but he keeps grinning at me as if he knows something that I don't know. Hmm, might as well ask him.

Ouch, he hit me and said it was none of my business. Sure, I'm smart enough to realize my brothers are in fact gay and are in love. They're sharing a room tonight, for Pete's sake. And Kevin has a small room, no room for an extra bed or mattress.

I have sick, sick, idiotic brothers.

**Signed: ****Nick Jonas**

---

**Ha. Yes, so now Niley is together. And Kevin and Joe are having gay sex lol. They aren't really, by the way guys. They're just sharing a room strangely... Hmm, I dunno. Does Kevin have a mental illness though? Hmm, I dunno lol.**

**Please review, I love you guys so so so so much, 27 reviews already? Yeah, it's AWESOME. I know people are used to, like, 600 each chapter but now, this is a huge achievement for moi. :D**

**Chloe xx **


	11. The Weirdest Day EVER

The Weirdest Day EVER

­03/17/07

Hi, diary. I'm so tired, but I felt that I kept a diary to write in it, and I haven't for the past 10 days, so I'll quickly let you catch up.

I figured out my brothers aren't gay. Emily came round yesterday with this weird brown box, and on the side it said '_Sea Salt Taffy'_, Joe went so crazy and he hugged her for ages. I just smiled and waved and then went to go see what Bridget was doing. I'm so happy me and Bridget are close now. It would be so embarrassing if everyday I had to walk down here and think, "Oh god, here she comes, she'll give me evils for breaking up our date." But instead we can just hang, and when I'm feeling extra generous, I help her on the candy counter. I get her a lot more customers, because I'm just fabulous, and she begs me to go every Wednesday, which is when girls play soccer matches in the field next to the hotel, and a lot of girls go for lunch in the hotel's restaurant, just because it's Wednesday.

So, I'm going down to go see where she is.

Usually she'd call up for me, but I hadn't seen her since I made up with Miley and in the elevator, my thoughts were going all over the place. Maybe she was in hospital? Maybe her ex came and kidnapped her? Maybe she fled the country?

Maybe my thoughts were right though, because she wasn't there. I asked the manager and everything and he said she had called in sick. I asked for her address, but he said it was personal and he couldn't give it to me.

I tried to argue back, but he was having none of it. Well, he said he wasn't and I said, well, you're getting some of it and he threatened to chuck me out but I was a little grumpy this morning so I was not about to be told off by some man in a cheap suit with no hair and a flipping mustache, so I thumped and front desk and demanded to see her. He said if I was going to be so rude, I should wait until I'm old enough to go to jail, and I nearly punched him. But instead, I showed him my wondrous middle finger and he chucked me out of the hotel and told me to come back when he had gone.

I mean what cheek! Idiot man, just because he fancies my hair! He's balder than a bald eagle. If that's even possible!!!

Well, I was bored, stuck outside and no Bridget. Damn it, my life is HELL sometimes. Going back to the school situation a few weeks back, I still need a school so I wouldn't be bored these treacherous Wednesdays!

Well, I went to see Miley. I left her a message on her phone (more like 20 messages) and caught the bus, because I'm cool.

I got some right weird looks on the bus though. People were all staring at me. I smiled, I waved to a little girl, but they just stared.

Then some old lady walked up and started laughing like an old evil hag (well, she was one) and she asked if she could touch my hair. I was so scared, I mean, who wants to touch my hair? But I let her, and she gets out a pair of scissors and cuts a bit off!

I started yelling at her, telling her she couldn't do that, but she just put it in a plastic bag and started laughing again. Now even MORE people were staring, and I guess I just lost it, so I shouted at her and I tried to get the plastic bag out of her purse but she was screaming and clawing at me! Then the bus driver stopped the bus and came to see what was happening, he thought I was stealing her bag, and he kicked me off, so I had to walk to her house. I swear she moves farther and farther away from me each day. My legs were killing me when I got there. In fact, they hurt so much; I twisted my plans and went into a nearby park and hogged the good swing for twenty minutes. I got an ice cream, and sat underneath a large oak tree, hoping I was out of sight of fans.

But no, I wasn't, and these three girls, about my age, came running up with ice creams and were trying to talk to me. I just nodded and sat there. There was one blond, skinny one, who just talked and talked and talked, there was a redhead (who was pretty cute with all these little freckles and little curls in her hair) who just sat there talking to herself and sort of staring at everything, and a fat blond on the end who had about three ice creams one after the other. She was really spotty and kept picking at this huge zit on her chin with her free hand. It made me lose my appetite amazingly, and I sat there with the ice cream melting down my arm.

"You gonna eat that?" the fat one said, and I chucked it at her, suddenly losing it again.

"Leave me alone, you guys! I need to go visit someone, I know it's rude because little miss blabber-mouth won't shut up, this one just asked for my ICE CREAM and... YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING!" I shouted, and I pointed at the redhead, who glanced up slowly, looking like she had just woken up from a dream.

"What?" she asked slowly, as if she wasn't sure where she was, and the skinny one slapped her and told her who I was. She suddenly gasped and rubbed her eyes, then screamed and ran off, pointing at me.

"That's it! I'm leaving now, okay?" I shouted, and started to walk off, but then I attracted more attention and I had to stand there for 10 minutes signing thousands of autographs.

Even worse, the fat one (who had chocolate ice cream smeared all over her face) decided to hold my hand and she told everyone (in her horrible man voice) that we were dating.

Then, she pulled me towards her and she kissed me, smearing chocolate ice cream all over me. The skinny one hit the fat one with her handbag, and the fat one pushed the skinny one over, and then jumped on top of her. I felt so sorry for her, I really did.

"I hope she doesn't squeeze your guts out of you!" I shouted at her, but she was busy slapping her fat friend's butt.

Then, when the big crowd died down, and I had to sit on the see-saw to recover form the hand cramp, the redhead came and sat down on the other end and we went up and down for about 5 minutes, just smiling at each other.

It was really strange, she was really into me but she didn't breathe one word to me. She only said 'what?' and that was it. I didn't even hear her voice, but the way she led me towards a hotdog stand and wiped the ice cream off my face, then kissed me on the cheek and ran away, I was guessing it would be really high and sweet.

I walked slowly towards the exit of the park, seeing two dogs... humping each other, and the fat girl and the skinny girl now tugging at each other's hair. The fat one had recently lost a shoe, one of her pigtails was sticking out everywhere, and her shirt had ridden up and her bulging stomach was now hanging out, making her look fatter than she was. Also, her belly hung over her skirt so unattractively, I wanted to puke. I know its mean, but she's just a horrible person. What's wrong with exercise? The skinny one had a black eye, one leg of her jeans had ripped completely off, and her Rolling Stones t-shirt was all frayed at the edges. I swear I saw a bit of black fabric in the fat girl's mouth, but seriously, what kind of person would get so hungry that they'll eat clothes?! Also, I saw three kids dumping sand down another kid's shorts, an old man with bird poo dripped down his suit snoozing on a park bench, a baby rolling down a hill in its pushchair, three drunken men swimming around a fish pond, and an old lady feeding pigeons. Then I realized who the old lady was...

THE WEIRD LADY ON THE BUS!

I screamed when I saw her, and I started to run, but you know on those cartoons when someone bad is on stage, and one of those old walking sticks come out and hook around your neck and pull you off? That literally happened! She pulled me towards her with this wacky walking stick, and no matter how I tried I couldn't get it off me.

"LET ME TOUCH YOUR HAIR!" she screamed and she pulled out her scissors, so I grabbed her hair to see if she would like someone pulling hers. I started pulling it out of shape, until it came off in my hands! She was wearing a wig!

"BALDY!" I screamed, then I pulled her bag off of her, pulled out my and I ran off.

But then I ran into the redhead who was sitting on the side of the road, staring at nothing, and I mean, what do you do, leave a girl who played with you on the see-saw on the side off the street or go and see what's wrong?

"Hey," I said as casual as can be and I sat down next to her, and she sighed and said nothing. "You gonna let me hear that voice of yours?"

"Okay, if you insist." She said after ages, and I smiled, because it was a pretty voice.

"Got a lot on your mind?"

"No, not really, I just have nowhere to go."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... no, you won't care."

"Tell me."

"Well, my mum and dad left when I was 12, they said, 'Becky, you have to be a good girl and go to social services' but I wanted to stay with them. They went to prison."

"Wow, bummer."

"You don't know anything!" she suddenly got really scary, and she stood up and shouted at me. I was really weirded out, she wouldn't even talk to me, and now she was having a go!

"I don't know anything about what?"

"Don't act like you don't know! You're famous; you have anything you could possibly want! Me, I have no home, no food, no other clothes, no parents, no money, no school, no friends! Now tell me you've gone through all that and tell me how hard it is to cope!"

"I don't know what that feels like."

"I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WOULDN'T! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME! WHY DID I HAVE TO BE SO STUPID? I COULD HAVE A HOME IN SOCIAL SERVICES RIGHT NOW!"

"Uh, yeah, I guess you could."

"Oh, help me please!"

She just wrapped me up in a hug and cried on my shoulder, all these fans were coming up and asking me for autographs, even though it was a little obvious that I was kinda busy.

"Uh, Becky?" I said, trying to get her off me.

"How do you know my name?"

"You said it like a few minutes ago. Now, can you kinda let go?"

"Oh, sorry, I have to go anyway and find a bus shelter to sleep in tonight."

And then she walked off, waving to me slightly, and I guess I felt sorry for her, because...

"Becky!"

"What? Did I get a tear stain on your shirt? Sorry, I can't afford to buy you another one..."

"No, I want you to come home with me tonight."

"But, Nick, we don't even know each other... and you have a purity ring, I mean..."

"No! I meant so you can have somewhere to stay."

"Oh. Oh! Thank you, thank you so, so much Nick! It means so much to me..."

I turned to sign some autographs, but then I felt Becky wrap her arms around my neck, and she's quite short, so she was choking me, and I had to turn back round again. I hugged her back, and I heard her sniff a few times.

"Are you crying?"

"...Just with happiness. It means so much to me. No one's been so nice apart from the time that old lady gave me a packet of cookies because she realized they were the kinda she was allergic to..."

"Well, I guess I'm just nice."

"And, it's you. And you're famous, and I've heard your songs on preview in HMV and the record store at the top end of town. They're so good, and I can't believe you're here!"

"Yeah, I'm visiting a friend. Oh, I better go!"

"But Nick, where do I go?"

"Uh, I guess you'll have to come with me."

I signed some more autographs, smiled, waved and posed, but then some big mouth bimbo had to open her mouth and ask some stinking questions.

"Nick! What are you doing here?"

"Hmm, hanging out I guess."

"Well, how did you get here?"

"I decided to help save the environment and catch the bus."

"Who are you here with?"

"I'm not really with anyone; I uh, just, umm, just wanted a change of air?"

"What about me?" Becky said quietly, and the woman turned to her and her horrible eyebrows raised and she looked around the group of people who started to ooh and ah.

"So who's this?" her eyebrows waggled up and down like they were leeches or something. I felt physically sick and couldn't wait till the puke actually formed so I could splash it all over her wondrous white tee shirt-dress (it made me want to puke too.) It had all blue and pink stars and space rockets and stuff on it, and she wore it with dirty blue jeans, I couldn't figure out if they were supposed to be there or not.

"A girl I know."

"Is she your girlfriend?"

I looked at Becky and she was staring at a squirrel which sat on the side of the road. I watched her watching it, seeing her eyes flicker from love to worry as it started to cross, sniffing here and there, a little like a dog. I looked at the squirrel for a split second, whose ears suddenly pricked up and whose tail bushed out and swayed gently. I looked back at where Becky was standing to see she wasn't there anymore.

"Come here squirrel! The truck's gonna squish you!"

She ran into the road, ignoring the fast truck that was heading straight for her. The squirrel froze up, and no matter how much Becky started poking and shouting at it, it didn't move.

"Becky, no!" I shouted, running into the road, scooping her up in my arms before carrying her to the side of the road. The squirrel looked up at us, before getting sucked under the truck.  
"Nick, the squirrel just..." Becky whispered, then screamed and fell to her knees in tears. "IT JUST DIED! THE POOR LITTLE SQUIRREL JUST DIED, NICK! IT'S DEAD!"

"Uh, I know. Becky, calm down, it's okay." I tried reassuring her, but she just cried and cried and the woman with the horrible eyebrows and tee shirt-dress and her camera crew were filming it.

"Give her a hug!" the woman mouthed to me, but I stuck my tongue out at her and pulled Becky up off of the ground.

"Nick, can we go now? I feel so alone." She wiped her wet cheeks and I put an arm around her, guiding her across the road so we could get to Miley's house.

"Is this a girlfriend?" the woman said, and I shook my head. "But you seem so close to her. Is she a family friend?"

"No, we only really met." I said really impatiently, signing a few more autographs, trying to smile and comfort Becky at the same time.

"Nick, say anything." Becky whispered to me, and I turned to the woman and I basically bit her head off.

"Well will you leave me alone if I tell you the truth? If I tell you this will you leave me alone?"

"Yes. Give me two more questions."

"Fine, go ahead."

"Who is this?"

I turned to Becky, who was staring at the sky. I gently nudged her and she looked at me, smiling. "I'm Becky Simmons."

"She's... my girlfriend." I answered, and then slapped myself inwardly. Becky looked at me with a look on her face as if she had won the lottery. It soon disappeared as she noticed the cameras, but squeezed my hand tightly, as if she couldn't believe it. "We've been dating for a few days. It's been real low key because she's not used to too much attention."

"Yeah." Becky agreed silently, staring at the camera and smiling the cutest smile she could. (I have to admit, it was cuter than Miley's, but I love Miley more.)

"Wow! Okay, just one more question: can you prove to me you're dating? I thought you and Miley were dating, Nick. I guess you can't believe some people these days."

I nodded gently, thinking how I could do it. I looked up at the woman who seemed to have already figured out what I was to do.

"How about a kiss?" she suggested, and I nodded again, looking at Becky. She had zoned out again, but as she heard the word kiss she looked up at me in horror.

"Are you sure?" she mouthed, squeezing my hand tighter. I nodded, looking at her oddly. I looked up at the woman again, before leaning nearer to Becky's ear so I could whisper.

"What, you don't have some tongue fungus or something?" I joked, but she took it seriously, choking on air and shaking her head, as if it were a disgusting thing.

"Well, here goes!" I said loudly, so the woman looked back at us. I pulled Becky nearer to me, and she wrapped her arms around me. She was really short, and I had to bend down quite a bit. She seemed to shake as she smiled at me, but then her lips pursed together and her eyes closed. I finally realized what was happening. I was kissing a fan who I had just met, when I was only supposed to be visiting Miley for the day.

I was about to pull back and tell everyone it was a joke, but then my lips were on hers. And wow, she has really nice, soft lips. I could hear people screaming in shock, but then it all suddenly went quiet, and it was as if nothing else mattered apart from me and Becky. I thought I was falling in love, but then she pulled back, staring at the woman, as if we'd proven our point.

"There you go." She said simply, pulling me around so I faced the camera again. I smiled weirdly, my mouth not working properly, still tingling with the feeling of her lips.

"Wow. That was amazing." The woman said, mouth hanging open. I nodded, suddenly thinking about Miley. What would I say to her if she found out?

"Are you planning on putting this on the internet?" I asked, and she turned to the camera man, who nodded and kept rolling film.

"In a few weeks, yeah, when we get back to Canada." She answered, walking up to me and patting my shoulder. She turned to the camera man, winking. "This is Shirley Harris."

Becky led me away, pulling me down the street by my arm, and then it was all quiet and there was no screaming, no notepads up in my face, no cameras and no questions.

It was just me and Becky again. This was what I wanted; I swore it was what I wanted... I leaned in again, but Becky pushed me away, looking at the floor and shaking her head.

"Nick, you don't want this. I know you like Miley, and I know she's the one you want. You don't need to pretend you like me still and you don't need to think I need you either." She whispered, and I felt slightly disappointed. I wanted to kiss her, but she said she didn't need me. I was annoyed, as well.

"Thisis what I want. Becky, you're just so..."

"Strange? You don't know who I am."

"I wish I did, and that's why I want this."

"Sure you do, stop mucking around. You're just toying with my feelings, I don't know what to believe..." her voice faded away, and she looked up at me with her blue eyes.

"Believe this." I said quietly, leaning down and gently kissing her lips. They were so soft. I can still feel them there now. Wow, I better get to bed, it's real late. Becky's in my bed, so I'll be on the couch tonight.

I'll tell you the rest tomorrow.

Peace out!

**Signed:****Nick Jonas**

---

_**There you are. :/ Is Nick having second thoughts on girls? Hmm.**_

_**Review please :D !! I fyou have any questions, do ask them.  
**_

_**Give me any ideas for future chapters, pretty please!**_

_**Love Chloe x **_


	12. The Lodger

**Note: Hello :) This is chapter 11, sorry if it's a little confusing in places, for some reason my typing's kinda gone down hill and I've been typing words randomly. Nick gets a little detailed in this, with like every detail mentioned. If any of you are dying to know, (you probably aren't but I feel like giving Becky an actual face and body) well, becky has red curly hair, she's very short and skinny, she's wearing some jeans and a shirt that says 'Higglytown Heroes' on it, and red Converse sneakers. She claims the Converse were her mother's and they're actually 3 sizes too big. She has blue eyes and little freckles (AHAHA I'm kinda basing her on what I look like, apart form I'm not really short and I'm not really skinny lol)**

**Ah, so yes, I got bored of describing Becky, just get on with it and read the story :) Just so you know, I don't own anything, I don't know why, if I did own anything, I would waste my time posting my stories and whatnot on Surely, if I owned the show Hannah Montana I'd be writing scripts for them to act out, and if I owned Nick Jonas I'd be wasting my time having fun with him ;)**

**Okay, enough of the ramble, just read on :) **

The Lodger

03/18/07

Well, it's 6 in the morning and I can't sleep, so I guess I thought I could get away from that horrible couch and just write how I feel. I feel... terrible. And that's not just because the couch is horribly lumpy and the light in the lounge doesn't work (and I hate the darkness) but because I kissed Becky and now Miley's gonna hate me.

And what's even worse, Becky's lying on my bed, snoring quietly (it's really cute when she snores, her nose just makes little snuffle noises and she snorts when she turns over) and every second I hear her breathe, I want to kiss her again.

Is it normal for a guy with a perfectly amazing girlfriend to want to kiss another girl, a little, homeless girl who has no proper anything, a girl who you can't talk to without her zoning out and starting to daydream, a girl I'd only met yesterday and yet I had kissed her twice already?

I have to go see Miley today. If she sees that interview on the internet or news or something, she'll hate me forever! It'll be worse then dating Bridget. Then, we weren't even going out and Bridget and I didn't do anything. Now, we are going out and me and Becky kissed! Twice! And someone actually filmed it! I'm such a player. I'll grow up with no friends! I'll die homeless and lonely! I can't, I have to get rid of Becky now...

I can't! My mom and dad have given a rule that she isn't allowed to leave before 9am or after 9pm, she's not allowed out by herself and she definitely isn't allowed to take any stuff with her. '_What stuff?'_ I hear you ask. Well, she has a jacket, a pair of shoes, a packet of biscuits and a pet squirrel. Yes, I know; a pet squirrel. That's why she flipped out when that squirrel was killed by that truck.

I still can't believe my mom and dad let me keep her. Hey, I'm making it sound like she's some sort of stray dog. Well, she's stray, and she's slept with dogs before (not slept-slept, but cuddled up to a stray dog one night when she was cold) so I guess its okay for me to call her that.

Well, I think I'll tell you what happened after we kissed for the second time.

Stupidly, we caught the bus, and everyone was taking pictures of us, but Becky seemed to not care (I think she was daydreaming again) but I was fidgeting and glaring at everyone. When most of the photographers had gotten off (the stop near the hotel was one of the last) we finally pulled up by the hotel and we got off. I had to pull Becky off the bus, because she got a little bit distracted and was staring at a bird which was flying in circles in the air. We held up the bus for about 10 minutes because I couldn't get her to budge and the driver said she'd wait because her daughter had a crush on me. Becky got up hurriedly after that because I picked her up, dodging her hands and feet which were clawing and kicking at me, and ran because I didn't want the driver to tell me about her daughter. (The driver herself was pretty ugly and I didn't want to know who her daughter was.)

"Nick! What were you doing?"

"Getting you off the bus, silly, we're home now."

I held her hand and we walked slowly into the hotel, to see people suddenly started staring. I felt pretty darn annoyed, they ignore me when I'm alone but the minute I hold hands with a girl no one can stop staring!

"Hey, what are you all staring at? I can hold hands with a girl, can't I?" I shouted, and they all pretended like they weren't looking, but they all really were.

I had to get the key from the main desk, where the bald manager was standing. He sighed and cleared his desk a little before we reached the desk, and Becky started giggling and asked if she could ring the bell. He obviously thought she was about 8 or something (trust me, she looks it) and he let her.

"DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!" echoed through the whole lobby, and the manager got so annoyed he chucked the key at me and stormed off. I smiled at Becky, who was still laughing, and I steered her towards the elevator. Then I saw Bridget. I abandoned Becky by a rubber plant and jumped into Bridget's arms, but she didn't really seem herself.

"Bridget!"

"Hi, Nick."

"Why weren't you here this morning?"

"I felt sick, so I called and said I wasn't coming in, but I guess I was bored at home on my own, so I came to work."

"No! You should be in bed; your stomach got cut OPEN!"

"I'm fine, Nick! Go and play with your little friends while I work."

"Come on, I'll help. You know I like to help."

"No, I usually have to bribe you with chocolate."

"But, today, I promise I'll buy it!"

"No Nick, just go and get some friends of your own age."

"...I HAVE FRIENDS!"

"No, that's not what I meant, I mean... ugh, just leave me alone."

"Fine, be mean to me. I don't need you. You're just a cheap, worthless woman who is too chicken to report her ex to the police for beating you up!"

I stormed off, not worried that I shouted a little too loudly and that everyone was staring at Bridget in disbelief. They were, but I didn't realize then.

Then I couldn't find Becky. I ran up to the rubber plant, checked inside the elevators and I zigzagged across the lobby to see if she was hiding behind something. Then I heard a loud DING! And I sprinted as fast as I could to the main desk, where Becky was sitting on the floor, crying with laughter. I picked her up and started trying to calm her down, but it wasn't working, so we had to go out for some ice cream.

"My feet hurt." She grumbled on the walk up, so I agreed to give her a piggyback up to the café at the end of the road. I ordered two strawberry ice creams in bowls and placed them in front of her, and she started squealing and hugged me as tight as she could.

How I wished that hug would never end! But she let go and started eating it as slowly as she could, starting with the squirt of cream on top, then collecting all the sprinkles on the top and eating them all at once, and then she finally stated eating the actual ice cream.

"Thank you so much Nick. I haven't had ice cream before much, I've only had a cheap Mr. Whippy ice cream, and it was nothing like that amazing ice cream!"

"It's okay. You can expect more if you're gonna be living with me."

"Are you sure your parents will let me? I don't want to be too much trouble."

"No, no you're definitely not too much trouble."

"But how do you know that? You've spent about an hour with me, and that's it so far."

"But it's enough to see you don't ask for anything I give you. You don't demand for things, you don't change the plans, you do what I say and you do it with no complaining."

"...Except when my feet were hurting."

She giggled, her head of messy curls bouncing around. She saw me looking at her hair and pulled at it from the roots, as if trying to straighten it.

"I must look a mess. If people think I'm the kind of person you hang out with, you could be considered a slob. Sorry if you do."

"Of course I won't be! And I'd rather be a slob than some guy like my brother, who spends hours picking his clothes, he has to check for creases or stains, and he has to do his hair, choose some aftershave, and then he has to find a pair of socks and clean and buff his shoes."

"Which brother's that? Joe or Kevin?" she giggled again, scratching her neck. I shrugged and she giggled more, reaching out for my hand and then taking it in firmly in her small hand. Her cold fingers rubbed over my hand, erasing everything from my mind and it just made me want to kiss her again.

"Nick Jonas?" a woman's voice called, and I winced and turned, trying to smile.

"That's me."

"It's your girlfriend! Frank, get a close up on her!"

"No, Frank, it's okay, she isn't my girlfriend..."

"Yes she is, there was that video on the internet of you two kissing!"

Becky and I stormed out of the café, screaming at each other in surprise. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't because I didn't want to look like a baby. I nearly fainted when I entered the hotel lobby, and I had to sit on the candy counter for a few minutes while Becky hovered by me, looking around, for once not in a dream.

"Nick, what are we gonna do? You're dating Miley." She hissed, and I nodded, worrying more as she said Miley's name.

"We have to go see her, tell her it was nothing. She won't believe us after she sees it. We have to go see her today."

"Nick, you never told me you had a girlfriend!" Bridget shouted at him, closing her laptop and shooing his off her counter. "I just watched the video. I thought you dumped me for Miley?"

"I did! It meant nothing with Becky, I swear. The woman just wouldn't leave us alone."

"Then why were you hanging out with her?"

"The same reason I hang out with you!"

"What, you agreed to go on a date with her but realized you really wanted to date Miley?"

"Okay, no, I hang out with Becky because I like her as a friend, same way I like you as a friend."

"Oh, I get you. Well, I'd tell Miley as soon as possible, dude. It could go terribly wrong."

"Okay. You need help to get more customers?"

"Nope, I figured out this one by myself..."

And saying that, she pulled a large picture of me and Becky kissing in front of her desk, with the title on front, "True Love or Truth + Dare?" I thought I could've killed her. She claims she was only joking and wasn't actually going to keep it there, but I punched it and ripped it up all the same.

I know I like Becky, but I guess I was unsure. Becky looked very unsure as well, disappointment, shock and excitement flashing across her face (wow, I should be a writer. How dramatic is that? '..._Disappointment, shock and excitement flashing across her face.'_ Dude I'm good!). She only looked excited when I started screaming at Bridget, and when I actually started to fight with the cardboard, she looked as if she might cry.

"You just have to make me so mad!" I shouted to Bridget, who shook her head and tried not to laugh. "That was so mean, I like Miley remember?"

She suddenly looked angry herself, but she kept her cool and didn't raise her voice.

"I know you do. I was only joking."

"Yes, but you didn't tell me did you!"

"Surely you didn't think I was this mean."

"Well, I dunno! I hardly know you, I mean so far all we've done is had lunch once!"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I have to work, I can't have lunch everyday!"

She started to lose her temper, but she still didn't shout like I did.

"I didn't mean it like that! If you're this mean, I don't think Iwant lunch with you!"

"Why are you being so horrible? I thought it would be cool to have a younger guy-friend, but so far it's turned out to be horrible!"

"Oh, really, what's been so horrible?"

"Well, you persuaded me to go talk to my ex, and you know what happened then! You can't get a joke, also, you don't even know how to say 'sorry, I can't date you, I like someone else' in a nice way."

"Pfft, I'm a kid; I don't know how you do these things!"

"Well, you could've just said so. I wouldn't have been offended!"

"Oh yeah, sure, girls always lie like that. You'd bite my head off!"

"Well you're biting my head off now because of a silly little joke! You agreed to go on a date with me, and you phoned me first. You didn't have to; maybe you just need another brain!"

"You need a brain! I mean, why can't you turn your ex in? He tried to kill you!"

After I said that, she stopped arguing and just walked away. I tried to go after her, but Becky held me back and said I would just be being silly if I wanted to try and help.

I said she'd come to her senses and come crawling back to me with an apology, but I was cracking inside. Bridget was my actual best friend, even though we've only known each other for such a short time. She was amazing.

We slowly started to walk towards the elevator, and Becky wrapped one arm around me, hearing me sigh disappointedly.

"Don't worry. I'm sure she'll only be mad for a little while."

"But I knew how she couldn't do anything about her ex. He tried to KILL HER! If the police couldn't find him, or he escaped form jail, he really would kill her."

"But what's the chance of that happening?"

"It could happen."

"Stop it, you're just being stubborn."

"I'm not! It could happen, Becky!"

Neither of us said anything while I pressed the right button and the doors closed. We were alone, so I didn't pull away when Becky reached for my hand.

"What will your mom say?" she whispered, and I hugged her tight and breathed in the smell of ice cream that was on her breath.

"I don't know. I guess... I don't know. You can just sit in front of the TV with Kevin when I ask them, okay? He'll be happy there's someone to laugh at the funny bits instead of Frankie, so you won't just sit there like a cushion."

She nodded and the elevator stopped and the doors opened. My grip on Becky's hand tightened as we walked to the hotel room. (Man, I'm getting really detailed here, good thing I have a purity ring otherwise I could do other stuff and if I did I would go into detail about that, which you would not like.)

"Mom?" I called through the door, before opening it myself and poking my head round the edge. She was standing in the kitchen, peeling potatoes.

"What do you want, Nick?" she was obviously layered with extra chores because I could see Kevin lying on the couch counting the cracks in the ceiling (I think this was disrespectful to the hotel. Every house gets cracks in the roofs! Okay, not all. I think they're there because in the short few months we've been here many things have been thrown at the ceiling. And, the people above us who left last week had a load of karaoke nights and you could hear like 100 people jumping up and down.)

"Is my friend allowed round for a while?"

"Sure, just don't make any mess or anything."

"Okay..."

I pushed Becky into the room, and she squealed, clutching onto my arm for support. She gazed around the room in astonishment, looking at every detail and crack in the ceiling.

"Did you mean friend or girlfriend?"

"I meant friend. Mom, I have to talk to you, okay, in private."

I walked into the kitchen while Becky obediently walked over to Kevin and tapped his shoulder. He looked up at her and instantly smiled.

"Hello. Will you help me count the cracks in the ceiling?"

"Okay. You're Kevin Jonas aren't you?"

"Yeah, but I'm a little sick now."

"Oh, okay..." she said, walking away form him, but he shook his head and pulled her on top of him, so they could see eye to eye (it's hard to look Becky in the eye because she's so far down and she almost always looks at the floor anyway).

"No, not sick-sick, I'm mental sick. But I'll be careful with you, okay? I'd never hurt a girl." He whispered, then pulled both them up and opened the couch (it's a couch bed, but I didn't know so I slept on the actual couch part. Kevin told me a minute ago when he went and got a glass of water).

They lied back down, opposite ways from each other, and started to count. I think Becky must've zoned out and started day-dreaming, but she still managed to count a few, because while my mom and I were waiting for me to think out my words, I hear Kevin ask how many she'd counted and she replied, saying 19.

Wait, I just checked, Kevin had drawn a line in permanent marker about halfway between the middle of the couch, so they weren't counting cracks twice. What freaks.

Well, when I asked my mom, everything went the way I didn't want it to be.

"Mom... you know that girl, Becky?"

"Wow, Becky's a nice name... you should date her."

"Mom, just listen to me."

"I am, but I'm just not in the mood for gossip or anything."

"No, mom, listen! She's got no home. I was wondering if she could crash her for a few weeks."

"Well, where are her mom and dad?"

"She doesn't know. She thinks they're in prison, but they tried to send her to social services and she ran away."

"So why is it up to you to give her a home?"

"Mom, I want to. I'm famous; they think we're idiots who don't give atoss about other people who have nothing."

"And? Nor do other poor people."

"But mom, she's lonely. She has no friends, no family, and no shelter. She's too young to be considered homeless and they don't let her into the Salvation Army camps."

"You're making stuff up! I've seen adverts for that, they have plenty of children."

"Children actors, they aren't the actual people!"

"How would you know? Do you go down there everyday and give them a tin of soup?"

"No. Mom, stop it. Can she stay here or not?"

"No."

"Why! She has nothing at all, and she's really sweet and everything. Look, even Kevin likes her now!"

It was strange, as if it was on a movie, because as we turned to look at them Kevin picked her up in his arms, standing up and twirling her round, making her scream and laugh.

"Well, we wouldn't want to upset Sir Lazy-Butt."

"Shut up, you know he has a mental condition."

"And that stops him from ironing how?"

"I dunno mom! Maybe hot objects make him angry!"

"Stop rambling on. She can't stay, and that's final."

"BUT MOM..."  
"But what, Nick!"

"I like her. She's my friend."

It worked. That line above worked. She sighed and shook her head before smiling and starting the ironing, and I screamed 'Yes!' which made Becky run in and hug me. My mom started ironing, Becky and Kevin got back to counting the cracks in the ceiling and I went and tried to write a song about my amazing happiness. It didn't turn out how I planned, because I just repeated the phrase 'I'm so happy that Becky's in my bed' and I thought, wow, that sounds weird, so I stopped writing it and I went and watched TV in the lounge with Kevin and Becky.

Kevin got mad that I interrupted his crack counting game, but he didn't care because Scooby-Doo was on, and apparently he loves that show.

So now, I'm permanently sleeping on the couch, and I'm definitely happy with that.

**Signed:****Nick Jonas**

**---**

**There you are, I hope you enjoyed that! No one, or hardly anyone reviewed to the last chapter, so I'm guessing you didn't like the fact that Nick had fallen in love with Becky. :/ Don't worry, I don't think Necky (lol) is in the stars...**

**Oh yeah, I have a story, as some of you may know, called 'A Violent Relationship'. Guess what, dudes? I FINISHED IT! So, I would appreciate it if you read it and reviewed it! Please!**

** PLEASE PLEASE!**

**Oh, not forgetting this story either, please review this one! Please say if you have a suggestion for chapters. I could use it, or maybe use it in another story. It's all useful to me, so pelase say!**

**Oh, and, just so you know, this sin't a story kinda story. It's a diary, so Nick just writes in on some days and talks about something interesting. Things leade into others. So, if you're gonna suggest something, ti can't be all like they do this and then they do that and then they go here and this happens and that happens, remember he's famous so he doesn't get so much spare time, so far these 11 chapters have been spread over a couple of months, so he doesn't really write in too much. So, just thought I'd say if you do want to suggest something. Maybe suggesting just an event, holiday, birthday, anything for like one chapter would be great. :D Also suggest what should happen! Who should date who? Should I drop any characters? Make them move To Hong-Kong? Just tell me, I'm dying to figure out some more chapters... So far, I've planned in advance the next... 12 chapters :D I want this to be, like, an everlasting story, with countless chapters. So SUGGEST! REVIEW! LOVE IT! Please, I'm begging :)**

**Love CHLOE! xxxx **


	13. A Note

**Well, it's just a little note asking for a favor. Please please help when I ask you this, because I don't know what to do.**

**I have a few chapters wrapped up, actually, I've got all the chapters up to # 24, but I need some more ideas, please! **

**So, please can you suggest a basic storyline that could fit into the story so far? Okay, so right now, Niley is happening, Nick's slowly falling in love with a homeless girl, Jemily/Jola is happening, and Kevin is on the brink on suicide and had been diagnosed with some sort of mental illness. **

**Any suggestions on what illness?**

**Any holidays, birthdays, or events?**

**Any new characters?**

**And, if your idea is extra specially good, you can just describe yourself to me (if you want) and I'll put your name in a chapter, only if you want though. :/ **

**It isn't very tempting, but it's all I've got.**

**Well, that was it I guess, so PLEASE suggest a few more chapters. I never want to have to end this story:(**

**Love CHLOE :) **


	14. Shower Shame

**Yo! It's been ages, I know. Sorry, I had HUGE writer's block and whatever, I didn't know how to start this or anything, but when I had thought it out, it only took me, what, a few hours? I have too much time on my hands.**

**This is Nick trying his best to be extra detailed. He wants to become a writer, you see. :D So it doesn't seem as if he's writing in his diary, more like he's writing an autobiography. Wait, I don't know if this is like an autobiography, I've never read one... Oh well, it's just detailed. **

---

Shower Shame.

03/19/07

Okay. Okay. I think I might die with humiliation right now. All I can hear is Miley's piercing screams in my ears. I want to cry right now. I can't remember much, and I don't know how to retell it, but I'll try. I'll have to tell someone sometime, I guess I can just practice for the moment, telling you.

Oh, jeez, I don't know where to start. Hmm, I'll start at the beginning. Me and Becky were pacing around the hotel, weaving in between random people, potted plants and furniture. We're just so confused. Why did that woman put that video of us on the internet before I had a chance to warn Miley? I mean, what if she had seen it already? I think I might die.

But, for different reasons from right now, but shh, I'm trying to tell a story here!

Well, anyway, Becky was walking into business men and collapsing on the couches that were sitting in the lobby, and I was dodging rebellish kids on skateboards and clambering onto the candy counter where Bridget stood, glaring at me.

(Ooh, not to interrupt the story, because I'm on a roll here, but I think Bridget is going to forgive me soon. Although she still won't talk to me or look me in the eye, she gave me some candy today. Too bad it's the type I don't like, but I still ate it, because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I want to be nice to her; I love her, after all.)

Well, Becky crossed the lobby, bashing into a Jamaican woman carrying three pineapples. The woman started shouting, and she threw a mango thing at Becky, who scooped it into her arms and offered it back to the woman, who screamed in frustration, shouting a few more Jamaican words and ran into the elevator, waving her arms around her and staring at Becky as if she was crazy. Becky picked up the pineapple the woman dropped and cradled it in her arms, carrying it gently over to me, where i was picking at the chocolate bar Bridget had given me.

"You'll have to go see Miley soon, Nick. This could, like, spin out of control. And you love her, you don't wanna hurt her." Becky sighed, lining the mango and pineapple up on the candy counter, eying them suspiciously, in case they were drugged or inedible.

"I know that, Becks. I just don't know how to walk up to Miley and say 'Hi, if you see a video of me kissing another girl on the internet, don't worry, it isn't real!'." I shouted, and Bridget snorted and passed a nougat bar to a little girl, who gave her a ten dollar bill, awaiting change. (AHAHAHAHA I'm so talented. I am SO deep too! I think I'm going to become a writer in my spare time. I can juggle acting, singing, writing and being totally legendary, can't I?)

"You just have to think about how it's gonna hurt you and her more if you don't go." Becky kept on lecturing me for another few minutes, so I hopped off of the counter, kissed her forehead and told her to go upstairs if I wasn't back by three, and then I left.

---

_I LOVE EMILY! Well, hello there. It is Joe, and I know I haven't written in since I... well, I 'died', but that's because Emily made me rise from the dead! She's so cool. We ate muffins at Miley's house. And, we found a squirrel in the park and Emily took it home with her. She's so cool! I know I've already said that, but I'm telling the truth. You know, I am a klutz, and I'm stupid, but I can be deep at times and I just want to pour my heart onto this page and let my blood and veins and guts and whatever stain the pages, wash over the words, jumbling all the letters so no one can read anything but blood. Wow, I didn't know I had that in me. You know, I could turn all my diary entries into a song. I mean, that could be a verse, and then I'd make up a wonderful chorus... or, Nick can do it. He's good like that. He's so amazingly cool too, I mean, Kevin doesn't give a donkey's hoof about my happiness, all he cares about are the cracks in the ceiling and his precious Starbuck's. But, Nick? He's different. Every night, when we eat out takeaway pizzas and curries and whatever, he'll ask about Emily and what we did and how everything's going. It's like he's there to talk to. Like, it's his job. I don't know what his job is, but I think he'd be good in that position, a professional talker-to. Wow, I need to hire some idiot to become one. I think I'd feel a lot better if that happened. _

_Haha, I just laughed out loud. I don't know why. I think I'm going to persuade Nick to become my slave. I'll make him wear a cool pink apron and carry a tray of soda everywhere. Aha. Now I laughed out loud again... Please diary, don't make me laugh so hard, Nick's trying to sleep... but still, NICK IN AN APRON! Hahahahaha!_

_Oww! Nick threw a pillow at me._

_THANKS A LOT, DIARY!_

_L_

_---_

(Sorry, I had to add that in here.)

Well, anyway... I jogged up to Miley's place and I knocked on the door. Billy opened the door and started cracking jokes, and he asked if I wanted a bacon sandwich but I turned it down, I was full because I bought myself a load of candy from Bridget's assistant, Marcus. Yes, I know, she has an assistant. Well, since I began coming down and sitting on the counter, more people have been buying (because Bridget put up a sign that says 'get a free hug and autograph from Nick Jonas for some candy!' and they're not allowed to touch me unless they buy something. It's hilarious!) And Bridget couldn't handle it by herself. And, she's been given a raise because of the amount of candy that's been getting sold. Well anyway, Marcus basically does Bridget's job now.

That reminds me, I have to tell Bridget I still love her...

OH! The story! My bad, well, anyway...

So I turned down the bacon sandwich and asked if Miley was upstairs. I didn't even have to ask because I could hear her singing, and I sprinted up the spiral staircase, leaving Billy talking to himself and humming some old song.

"Miley?" I called into her room, but I saw it was empty. I could hear her strongly in her bedroom though, so I just guessed she'd be in her dressing room, or in a closet or other room. You know, there are four doors inside Miley's room, three in her lounge, and she has two balconies. Talk about spoilt!

Well, so I sat on her cool red leather couch, when I started fiddling with my hair, because it was windy outside and I wanted to make a good impression.

I wandered down to her bathroom and I opened the door, which was already slightly ajar. The room was a little misty, and I could hear water running down the drain, but I saw clothes scattered across the floor and wet footprints over them, so I guessed maybe one of Miley's siblings had had a shower previously.

So, I started to fiddle with my hair, and I glanced in the mirror, but it was all misty. I wiped it and I saw the shower curtain rustle gently, but I thought maybe it was just moving because I had accidentally brushed against it. I thought nothing of it, so I just ploughed my fingers through my tangled curls, humming to the same tune Billy was humming earlier before, and grunting whenever my fingers got stuck and my scalp hurt dreadfully. I pulled on an extra large knot and yelled as loud as I could, eyes watering. My hot breath from the yell made the mirror misty again, so with one clean sweep I wiped away the mist and saw...

A NAKED GIRL!

And not just any naked girl, oh no. it was my naked GIRLFRIEND!

I screamed, she screamed. She pulled a towel from the towel rack as I just kept staring at her, and I spun around on my heel and took it all in.

I knew I shouldn't have, but I had to. It had killed me for so long and I had just seen the one thing that I could rub in my brother's faces.

Yes, it's sick, but I don't know what I was thinking.

"Nick!" she screamed, wrapping her nakedness in a towel. I just let my mouth hang open, watching her huff out of the room, yelling at me. I couldn't hear what she was saying; I just followed her like a little puppy and smiled as I saw her disappear into her room.

"Miley..." I purred (YES I PURRED GET OVER IT!) and she looked up nervously. I didn't know what to do. I just smiled sickly.

I sat on the edge of her round water bed, staring around me. I looked over at Miley who had a scared expression on her face, and then I stared down at my hands, breathing deeply. My chest began to ache, but I kept my focus on my hands, trying to forget what I had done. I heard Miley panting, and I looked up slowly, watching her pace across the room to a big chest of drawers. She turned around, and I saw she had tears in her eyes, probably from worrying and panicking. One hand reached towards a drawer in the chest, and the other reached out towards me.

"What did you see?!" she whispered frantically, pulling her underwear from a draw and trying to put it on without letting the towel slip.

I looked away at this moment, staring at her shoes, which sat in rows along the walls. They were all color-coordinated, the white ones sat on the top row, then red, pink, yellow, orange, brown, black, and gray. They went in height order on each row, the knee high boots sat on the left, and then the Uggs sat next to them, and then the ankle boots, then the killer heels, then the soft heels, then pumps, and then lastly sandals. There was only one pair of each style shoe on each row, and I could see the translucent door which glowed fluorescent pink and green to the right.

"Answer me." She whispered coldly, and I turned my head towards her, seeing her standing in a black bra and white jeans. I shuddered when I saw how her hand perched icily on her hip and how her eyes seemed to burn through him, even though she shivered and shook with fright and because of the fact she was cold, hence she had no top on.

"Can you repeat the question?" I said after a loud gulp, and I focused on the black and white bags which were hung to the wall behind Miley. Again, there was a door leading into the room which contained all her shoes, bags and jewelry. I saw Miley move and I focused back on her, watching her edge towards me sharply, pushing her lips out in anger.

"WHAT DID YOU SEE!" she screamed, and a few bags dropped from their hooks behind her, and I had to laugh. Miley's face softened for a moment too, but then she frowned and took another step closer to me. I climbed back further onto the bed, curling up with her large brown teddy bear, but she viciously jumped onto the bed and grabbed the bear from me, stroking its ears and pushing its face into her neck.

"Just answer me Nick." She whispered, kissing the bear's nose and smiling to herself, hiccupping every few seconds. Her eyes wandered away from the bear and connected with mine, and I shrugged my shoulders.

"All of it?" I answered, swallowing and bracing myself. I thought she was going to hit me. I thought she would scream and yell and push me out of her house and tell me she never wanted to see me again.

But no, instead she nodded and sunk down to the ground, holding the bear tightly to her. The bear still snuggled into her neck, and she stroked its back, hiccupping still.

"I'm sorry... I just... I don't know what came over me." I whispered in my defense, but she just smiled and stared down at her feet, entwining them together, twisting her toes.

"I don't know what to say to that." Miley said slowly, staring forwards in concentration, watching her bright pink wall stare back.

"Should I go?" I suggested, standing up, not wanting to be there for one second longer, but she laughed and shook her head, standing up and throwing the bear to the floor. She walked slowly towards me, which scared me just a little, but I stayed still, not wanting to upset her further. I had my legs pressed right up against the bed, and Miley poked one manicured finger into my chest and I lost my balance, crashing onto the water bed, laughing for a moment as I felt the water slosh about underneath me.

But then Miley _clambered on top of me._

I didn't know what she was doing until she started to kiss me, but before I had time to kiss her back, she had climbed off and started to walk away.

"Miley?" I asked, but she just disappeared into her walk-in closet, and I saw this as my chance to escape.

I sprinted home, banging into people, making them drop their groceries and handbags. Two people thought I was trying to mug them, and so they whacked me over the head with their bags, and I collided with three bikes. I was kicked by a little boy, yelled at by a man in a wheelchair, and an old lady hit me with her cane.

But I kept on running until I burst into the lobby, panting and trying hard not to cry. I saw Becky chatting to Marcus by the candy counter and as she saw me (more like heard me, I was screaming 'Becky!' and bashing into old people) she looked terrified. She grabbed hold of my outstretched hand and guided me to the elevator, because I had such a headache after being whacked by bags and canes, I temporarily lost sight.

"What happened?" she said between pants, squeezing my hand gently.

"Too much." I barely breathed, and then the elevator doors opened and I jogged up to our door, fumbling with the key. As I found the lock, the door opened and Joe stood there with Emily on his arm, and seeing their happy, lovey-dovey grins made me feel even worse.

I burst through the door and ran into my room, my arm covering my watering eyes.

...WOW! I'm so detailed and deep! I can't believe it, but that is 100 percent the truth. I saw Miley Cyrus naked, and it didn't turn out too well. Now I can't see properly, my jaw won't work, and my hand is cramping...

OWW OWW OWW OWW!

Well, that was all few hours ago, because I just sat and cried and tried to figure out what happened, and then I had a bath to wash away my sins.

Goodnight my friends, I have to go get comfortable on the couch.

-

Oh. Ooh.

Becky's already crashed on the couch; she wrote a note and stuck it to the fridge.

'_Dear Nick, I don't know what happened, but it's obviously really shocked or hurt you in some way, and I really hope it gets better. I love you like a brother and couldn't bare it if something or someone was hurting you. You seemed so tired, distant and shook up that I thought it would help if you got a proper night's sleep, so I'm giving up my bed for a night so you can sleep there. Don't you dare move me, or I'll hurt you in the morning. Well, just remember you're my best friend and you can tell me anything, and I can help with anything. I don't want to just stand back and watch your life fall to pieces. :) _

_Loads of love, Becky. X'_

I love this girl.

**Signed:****Nick Jonas**

---

**Well, that was it! Please make a suggestion for any further chapters, but I've kinda got the Niley situation under control, any other events? Any characters? PLEASE TELL ME!**

**Thanks for reading if you've got this far, please review.**

**Love CHLOE x **


	15. Mental Spasm

**I took so long because I was on holiday :D So here goes, dudes. Another chapter. It makes no sense, but oh well. You'll get there in the end. If you don't, you pathetic, brain-dead losers, just PM me or ask about it in a review. **

---

Mental Spasm

03/27/07

Today, me Joe and Kevin went in to see some guy about writing some more songs, it was all blardi-blah, and Joe got all tetchy and was shouting at Kevin, which didn't go down well.

"I'm siiiiiiiiiinginnnnng in the raaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiin, just siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinginnnnng, in the raaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiin!" Kevin was screaming down the road (I knew we shouldn't have stopped at the third Starbucks, but Joe said 'if it'll make him happy, we'll go in.' GOD my brother is a fool! And, it wasn't even raining. Pfft, the fool.)

"SHUT UP!" me and Joe shouted at the same time, and I went to high five him, but he was all angry because we were late to see the guy.

"You're meanies!" Kevin shouted back, walking into a lamppost before dropping unconscious on the pavement.

"God, no!" Joe said, and was all GRR BACK OFF and I got scared, so I bought myself a muffin and sat down to watch (it was very funny and even a little crowd of people had already formed, not making it any better... but making it even funnier).

"Joe, we're late." I said happily, because I like to annoy Joe at the worst times, and this was bad for him because he really wanted to become big (he's soooooooo big-headed, he got really upset when Mariah Carey's hit got to #2 on the charts, when we had to drop to #3. He cried for ages and even said he was going to call her and shout abuse at her.)

"No we're not!" he shouted, trying to wake Kevin up, but failing.

"Slap him!" I shouted.

"No."

"Hit him! Go on, right in the stomach!"

"No."

"Umm... kick him!"

"No!"

"Fine, I will."

So I did, I kicked Kevin right where it hurts the most, then legged it back to my muffin.

So, Kevin woke up, saw Joe leaning over him, and started going crazy, he pushed him down and started slapping him and hitting him, I just laughed.

Joe saw all the unnecessary hitting and slapping as abuse, and started calling Child Line (I helpfully pointed out the number was 0800 1111).

"Hello, Child Line, my brother is abusing me!"

I just kept laughing and I started shouting "KEVIN JONAS! JOE JONAS!" so the person on the phone could hear, and Joe kept saying it was his psycho little sister, so I got annoyed at being called a sister so I jumped on his head and started distorting his face and slapping him, it was so funny, I've never felt so strong in my life.

But then Kevin started to chase a butterfly and walked into one of those roundabout things you get it parks, so he jumped on it and started screaming, and Joe hung up and started punching me.

And that wasn't such a great idea, because I was feeling ill after all the laughing, so I threw up all over him!

He got really annoyed again and flicked it at me, and we had this puke-fight (sounds disgusting, I know, but that's us for you, always really angry and beating each other up and stuff).

So then Joe's nearly crying because he's so angry, and Kevin just grabbed my hand and we started walking out of the park and into this guy's office. (The whole reason I don't know anything about this guy is Joe's fault, as you'll find out later.)

"Whoa, what happened to you?" the guy says, and I look down at myself, trying not to feel to embarrassed. (this guy is HUGE for us, we needed to set a good example... pfft, we did a great job.)

"Uh, puke?" I said, and he just pointed to a locker room, and I started wooing because in posh places like these they usually have that extra posh soap that smells really girly but makes your skin smoother than a baby's bottom... whoa, I sound like a girl. But no, it's really nice, so I legged it in there, to hear Joe run in, shouting at me.

I squealed and ran into a locker door, and I fell into the shower. Fortunately, I found a whole rack of that really posh soap!!! Unfortunately, this place was so posh that they had those cool taps that turn on when you put your hand under them, and the showers were the same, so I got soaked, and I heard Joe come in (I couldn't see, I accidentally elbowed the shower gel and it squirted in my face, so I knew if I opened my eyes I would probably blind myself) and he started screaming. That water was bloody cold!

I slipped over, you see shower gel is slippery when it drips on the floor. So I skidded across the shower (may I tell you this shower washuge, one of those ones where you can fit like a whole gym class in) and I head butted Joe's leg, which made him wobble and fall on top of me. He couldn't resist laughing at _that_, it was really too funny! So we started laughing, and I pulled my shirt off and flung it at Joe, who got annoyed (because it hit him in the eye and my shirt's covered in soap, so now he had soapy eyes too!) and he flung it back, and we had this really girly fight, we were slapping each other and pulling hair and it was **so** feminine I thought Joe was about to start talking about makeup and shoes.

Which is even funnier, since he started moaning about his best shoes getting soaked. But, no makeup I'm afraid. Although, I swear he does wear it...!

-

Whoa, Joe's written about it already! Aha!

---

_I HATE MY BROTHERS! They made me look like such a fool in front of this huge producer guy. He owns this company that sorts out music, videos, photo shoots, interviews, like, everything. They were gonna hook us up with lawyers and stuff, but like I said, my brothers ruined it. Well, not Frankie, he's my favorite right now._

_Well, we were on our way to the meeting with him, Nick puked, we both walked into an automatic shower, got soaked, ruined my best shoes (the pointy brown ones with the cool holes in them) and I'm considering suing Nick – oh wait, I can't, because I HAVE NO LAWYER BECAUSE NICK RUINED IT ALL! Sorry, got carried away. I just hate him so much! Well, that isn't the worst anyway. Where was I? ...oh yeah, ruining my shoes. So then we clambered out (clambered because he flung his shirt in my eyes and got it all soapy so I couldn't see, if I opened my eyes it felt like tiny goblins were clawing my pupils) and we saw this fat, naked business man standing there, ready to get in the shower! Nick nearly puked again, and I burst out laughing, and he just stepped over us and walked into the shower. He also threw Nick's shirt at me, and it hit me in the face, and I was about to go in there and shout at him, but Nick held me back and shook his head at me._

_But this was the worst part. We were soaking, and there was no way we could go back out without anyone seeing us and accusing us of playing with the showers... which we so weren't doing!!!! I was a little happier though, because the puke hadn't stained my red shirt after all! And now I smelt of mint (blame the shower gel!) but I had big soap stains all across my back, and I knew if the soap dried into the shirt it'd be ruined, but I was too scared to shower next to the fat man. I looked at Nick for help, but he's an idiot and was looking through someone's locker, laughing at the size of their pants. I must admit, they were HUGE!_

"_Excuse me? Those are my pants." The fat man from the shower shouted, and Nick just threw them at me, telling me not to go through people's lockers! I was gutted. The guy tried to hit me, but I was really surprised because Nick stood up for me, giving the guy a Chinese burn and then shouting at him. _

_Unfortunate for us, this guy was BIG NEWS and was this lawyer guy, and he said he could consider suing Nick for touching him and suing me for going through his locker. I was about to grass Nick out, but I didn't want to, since he stood up to that fat guy. The guy snatched his pants off me, and went and got changed, and I tried not to laugh but his flab was wobbling __**everywhere**__. It made me feel sick!!! Sick, sick, sick. _

_I'm too grossed out to write anymore. I'm having severe flashbacks and I need to lie down. ...he's haunting me! I just closed my eyes and I saw him! His eyes were burning into mine, he was shaking huge pants at me... AHHH!_

_He's chasing me! For a fat dude, he's fast!... no, get away! Leave me alone! WHO ARE YOU?! He's getting closer... he's on my tail... AHH! HIS FLAB IS SUFFOCATING ME! IT'S IN MY MOUTH, IT'S UP MY NOSE! IT'S SQUIDGING BETWEEN MY TOES... :'(_

---

Ah. That bit at the end probably explains why Joe had a spasm and my mom even had called for an ambulance. It just pulled up five minutes ago and I took a break to go and watch as the doctors were trying to strap Joe to the stretcher. Aha! It's still going on. I can hear Joe screaming "I will not be silenced!". I'm going to go see this!

03/28/07

Ah! Sorry I didn't finish my story! I just went and watched Joe fighting against 12 doctors and ambulance drivers for _3 hours_, and then I sat in the hospital with my mom, waiting to see what was wrong with Joe. (They said he only had a temporary mental issue, which means that something is bothering him and is causing his mind to turn to goo and he'll ramble on and say random things and remember things that have made him insecure and unhappy in the past like the fat man, when his goldfish died and when he found a spade at the beach once and then found out this other, richer kid owned it and he got into this mega fight with him.) Well, those three have already caused him to seize up, and twice he had a spasm attack and when he remembered his pet fish, Poky, he tried to flush himself down the toilet and believed he would be reunited with him.

We had to remind him that a) he died 12 years ago and won't still be in the toilet system and b) we've moved state, so poor little Poky was flushed in a different part of America. He didn't get it though, so we just gave him some Twinkies and left him to get fat.

I wonder what Joe's doing now? I'll go check on him. Ooh, he's ironing. One good thing has come out of his mental 'issue', and that's that he now enjoys to do chores.

30 Minutes Later

Man, my brothers don't set a good example for me. They have both become mental. I think I'll research what's up with both of them...

2 Hours Later

Well, it took me 113 websites, 2 hours, 2,439 words and 62 times restarting my laptop since it froze, but I found out.

(A/N: These are made up illnesses. I made them up, so don't say stuff like 'that's not true, that couldn't happen, I don't believe you, that illness makes no sense'. And I don't think Kevin and Joe are mental, they just happen to be in this story. I've always believed Joe could be, but he probably isn't.)

Kevin has a mental problem called PHD, standing for Piratical Hexagonal Disorder (yeah, I don't get it either) and it means he gets really angry really quickly, and he doesn't like to do what people tell him to, and he finds it funny to do the opposite. He'll find happiness doing something weird, and it can keep him busy for hours. It's easy to get and once you get it, you have it forever. You can get it if you become depressed and only feel satisfied when hurting others (when they find out that you have PHD, you're locked in a padded room for 36 hours and if you're still loopy, they strap you to a stretcher and you're looked after by a nurse, 24/7. I thought it was kinda drastic, but society **has **taken a turn for the worst. Oh, yeah, well, you can also get it if a string of bad things happen too quickly for your liking and it makes you feel confused, and all the stuff I already mentioned starts happening. That's what happened to Kevin, but instead of a string of things it was one, big, confusing thing and then he said that everything started to crumble after that.

What I don't get, is that he can still act completely normal! Like, the fact that he got us the deal with that guy the other day. He acted really normal, and was talking like a business man, but then as soon as we got outside he asked if we could go to the pet store and buy an Alsatian so he can chase away the fairies when he sleeps.

Hmm, okay, Kevin's really weird. No one understands him anymore. All he talks about now is fairies. He's obsessed with them. Go on, ask him anything at all, and I swear his answer will contain fairies. "Kevin, can you do the ironing?" "I'm sorry, in Fairy-Land it's illegal to iron." It's just... impossible with him. All the mumbo-jumbo I found out doesn't make sense either. I mean, how can you become mental by being depressed? Seriously some people can contain their lives **just a little bit** and not become seriously ill with a mental disorder for the rest of your life? Some people need to GET A GRIP!

Ah, sorry, getting a little carried away. I'm just frustrated because since Joe and Kevin have become mental, I have Kevin screaming at me to do my chores, and I have Joe begging if he can do them for me. It's like, if I have no chores, what else can I do? Becky has decided she has other things to do, _without me_, Kevin hogs the TV, Miley still scars me, Bridget still won't talk to me, my mom and dad have gone away for the weekend and are no longer forcing these hard labors on me, and Frankie is at his friend's house, so I can't even play catch with someone! I've been researching mental disorders for the past couple of hours. I'm exhausted, but I feel I**must go on**, otherwise my life isn't worth living anymore. With is this world so cruel? Why is it taunting me, poking me and laughing at me when I do nothing wrong? Sorry, scratch that, I doeverything wrong. I'm an idiot, a klutz, I'm a disgrace to the human race. Well, at least I can rhyme... disgrace, race, place, face, mace... case, ace, hace... THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD! I've gone insane!

I'll take my mind off myself, I don't want to get a mental disorder either. Frankie might think it's cool... which it so isn't! I don't want to be the next Britney Spears! AH!

Oh, well, I'll tell you – wait, why am I telling a DIARY about this? Why am I so retarded!

---

**Kevin is the coolest guy, Kevin is the coolest guy, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin!**

**I, Kevin Jonas, am going to become president of the USA one day. I promise you I am! And when I am, I will make sure every family has a slave fairy. Fairies have no value, they should be treated like poop. Poop is like their definition. Which reminds me, in every single dictionary printed, if you look up 'fairy' you will see it will say: **

_**Fairy (noun): poop. Used as slaves, collecting teeth and poop.  
Also see pixie, elf, leprechaun, goblin. **_

**I bet you, it will! It will, will, will happen!**

**Ten minutes later**

**Oh, did you know, in Fairy-Land (which, in 2014 is going to be demolished when the fairies come to work as slaves around the USA) it's illegal to iron, and they eat gold coins. They also cut their toenails when they stand on their head.**

**Another ten minutes later**

**(Horn sound) Hear yea, hear yea! An official law has been passed throughout Fairy-Land, saying that you will be flushed down the toilet if you ever say the word, 'Philadelphia'. It is seen as the devil state, and the cheese is banned from the whole country. **

**Another ten minutes later**

**Dun, dun, dun... BREAKING NEWS! 113 fairies have been killed in the past 3 minutes. Rumor has it that president Fairy-Feet accidentally ordered 12 army planes to drop bombs over Fairytopia. Witnesses have said that all they can see is fairy glitter and fire. More details, in an hour.**

---

...An hour later, Kevin is sleeping.

Wow, I feel better. Knowing that all the fairies are blowing up puts me in a better mood!

Well, I now feel like talking.

I'll talk about Joe's mental problem. It's called TMC, meaning Temporarily Mentally Crazy. I'm not joking, it is called that. Well, I just realized I've explained most of it already. HA, I'm a dummy.

-

Kevin just barged through into the lounge where I'm sitting, writing and Joe is dusting my hair, (yes my hair, he's dusted the whole suite so he asked if he could dust me. He's a real clean freak now. I think I like the new Joe.) yes, so Kevin barged through, tugging at his hair, and pointing at the counter.

"I forgot! I totally forgot! Dang, those stupid fairies, making me wash the curtains, what a fool I am! I'm going to go and kick you, president Fairy-Feet!" and he ran out of the room. By the way, he's got nine plastic action figures, actually they're G.I. Joe's, Joe doesn't know he has them. He stuck glittery wings on them and wrapped them in strips of silk (mom let him cut up one of her old dresses. Actually, he cut it up and then freaked when she started crying, so she told him that it was okay that he just cut her best dress up, it was just her hay-fever making her cry.) and he also threaded little sequins together to make headdresses for them. I like my new brothers, they've suddenly got talents that I've never noticed before. Like, Joe can scrub out a grass stain in under 30 seconds, he can pour the right amount of soap into the washing machine without even needing to measure it out, and he can knit, Emily taught him. He's already knitted me a scarf, and is currently trying to make me gloves. Kevin, on the other hand, can sew and design, he can paint artistic pictures of fairies dancing and clubbing (and fairies doing other specific rude things) all over my bedroom walls, he can type 100 words a minute on his laptop and is very good at flicking channels with his eyes closed. Ask him to put on any channel, cover his eyes and _wham!_the channel will appear by magic.

Now, I never have to tell mom I ripped my smartest pants, I get Kevin to sew them up for me. I don't have to hide the fact I took Frankie to play soccer in the park instead of making him go to his French lessons, I get Joe to scrub out the grass stains instead. Ah, life is so much easier now.

"I forgot again! I forgot again! Sorry, sorry, Fairy-Eyes keeps asking for more corn chips. Oh yes, the letter, the letter!!!!" Kevin is screaming, and I guess I have to stop writing for a second...

"No way? How come!" I was shouting a few minutes ago (right now I'm smiling at the amazing thought, it was such a shock at first and now I'm too excited).

"Well, when I was taking to that guy, he first said he'd do it, he'd give us a great agent (_although we have one, we decided it's best if we get another_) and now we have a recording studio set up for us, we have a lawyer, and we've already got three people asking for interviews..." he explained, handing Joe (who's finally put down the duster, but was still sweeping his fingers across the screen of the television, clicking his tongue at the amount of dust that came off) an envelope, and when he went to open it, he looked up at Kevin like he was too scared to.

"What's in here?" he whispered, and I looked at Kevin who just smiled like the old Kevin, and pulled the envelope off Joe and opened it himself.

"Nothing that bad! It's just our passes for when we go..." he pulled the tickets out of the envelope and waved them in our faces, and I caught a glimpse of the show... Oprah.

WE'RE GOING ON OPRAH!

"No way!" I shouted, grabbing my pass and reading it over and over again: _Nick Jonas, pass. Oprah, starring Oprah Winfrey. __05/__12/07._

"Yeah way, baby!" Kevin shouted, punching the air and throwing a pass at Joe, and he was the old Kevin again. The Kevin that I realized I really, really missed. He saw me staring at him and smiled, and then his eyes sort of flickered and he stared at the clock above the door, which read just gone 7pm.

"Oh no! Fairy-Lips needs a sponge bath now! I'll be back soon, troupes." He said, saluting us before marching into his room, screaming 'COMING FAIRY-LIPS!'

I rolled my eyes at Joe, who had become the old, funny, happy Joe again, and he started wooing and he sat down on the sofa, smiling and reading his pass out loud.

"_Joe Jonas, pass. Oprah, starring Oprah Winfrey. 05/12/07._ ...Holy mackerel, I've got a lot of cleaning to do before then!" he said sadly, as if he had to.

"Come on Joe, you don't have to clean! Let's go have fun, be brothers, do brotherly things!" I said, trying to get him in the mood, but he just shook his head and picked up the apron that laid on the sofa. It was bright red with yellow and orange spots on it, and he just put it on and picked up the mop.

"I want to do this. This is my life."

Sadly, I want my brothers to be healthy enough to beat the crap out of me again.

**Signed:****Nick Jonas**

---

**I thought that went well. Did you? Yes, sadly Joe has joined the mental half of the family. And Nick starts showing signs of madness... AH! I would die if Nick Jonas got a mental disorder. I'd be too scared to ask for his autograph just in case he freake dout and tried to hit me. Ahhh it's not good, picturing the love of your life hitting you. Ahem.**

**Please review (:**

** x **


	16. Joe's Confession

Joe's Confession

04/02/07

Hello, this is Joe, writing in Nick's diary. I just wanted to confess something, but my diary is currently angry with me, and whenever I try to write in him he snatches the pen from my hand and throws it across the room. It's quite scary. Now, I want to confess to something, like I said. Phew, I'm feeling a little nervous. I wonder why... oh yeah, I'll get straight to the point. I, umm, love a girl. But you can't tell anyone, okay? No one at all? Okay, I'll say. It's Becky. I love Becky. She's amazing. She's gorgeous too. You know, the other day, I walked into Nick's bedroom and she was lying on the bed, in her bikini, reading a book. We had a nice and awkward conversation too:

"Ooh, hello there."

"Hi."

"What's with the bikini?"

"Well, I got bored of clothes, and your mom bought me some outfits and I decided to try this on. Do you like it?"

The she got up and turned around, and I swallowed my gum and started choking, and it took about 10 minutes for me to return to pink again (I had temporarily turned purple).

"I love it. It's looks great on you."

"Why, thank you, Joe!"

"No problem. I love it so much I'd wear it."

"Oh, okay."

"I mean, I, er- wouldn't _wear_ it, but if I was a girl... damn it."

Then I walked out. How awkward? I felt like a freak. I wanted to cry so I started to scrub the pile of dishes in the kitchen. Whilst I was struggling to scratch off some dried gravy, when Nick walked in all happy and cheery. He even hugged me, and I threw the plate at the wall in surprise. Damn Nick, it's all his fault.

"Why did you do that?" I screamed, picking up the pieces, still attempting to scratch off the gravy. Nick just shrugged, got a packet of Oreo's, and went into his room and shut the door. I wanted to run in and scream "I KNEW YOU WERE SECRETLY DATING!" but then I saw Becky sitting on the couch, singing while still reading that book.

12 minutes later

Okay, it's still Joe. Now I'm sitting in the bathroom, writing as much as I can as fast as I can. Wow, that's a lot of as'. HAHAHAHA, oh yeah. I'm in the bathroom. I'm watching Becky from the keyhole, boy is she pretty. Right now, she thinks she's alone, I told her me and Nick were going swimming, but only Nick went swimming. She's dancing to some Ashley Tisdale, and her hips are swaying and her legs are so thin... wow. I have a girlfriend, and I'm in love with Becky. Ooh, I feel bubbles arising in my stomach. This is so exciting, I've never been in this sort of situation. I kind of like it. I think I'm gonna go snog a random girl.

34 minutes later

Well, I snogged 9 other girls just then. Sadly, Becky knows I'm in here now, so she's just sitting, watching TV. If you're thinking, how did he get out without Becky noticing??? Well, she was in the bathroom. So, I just snuck out. Well, I bet she's probably wondering what I'm doing in here. I'll have to stash the diary up my shirt and jump into my bedroom, saying I have homework.

39 seconds later

Damn. I forgot I don't go to school.

"Um, Becky, I have to go do some homework."

"You do?"

"Yes. And it's good for me to listen to music while I study."

I turn on the stereo, putting on 'Hips Don't Lie' by Shakira. I know Becky likes this song, and I could see her already swaying to it.

"That's funny, I thought you were home schooled?"

"Oh, I am! Silly me. Well, I'll... bye."

Then I ran back in here. Why am I so hopeless around Becky? It's this stupid TMC. I hate it. I'm taking it back and getting a refund. I feel like poo.

Well, Becky's turned off the music and retreated to downstairs. Nick, Kevin and Frankie are now upstairs, and I'm still locked in the toilet. Why can't mom come home and send me and Becky on a bonding trip? She always does that.

(I got a crush on our neighbor a few years back, mom got friendly with her mom and sent me and the girl on a bonding trip. We ended up dating, but it didn't work since she spat when she spoke and she was really annoying. Also, she'd eat things she found on the floor. I'm not kissing those dirty lips. Eugh.)

Well, yes, I'm coming out now.

24 minutes later

Okay, now I'm down by the pool, watching Becky swim up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and- you get the point.

Well, she's now wearing a green bikini with a black bow on the top. You know, in the, like, _week_ I've known her, she's really changed. She's grown, gotten fatter, her hair's now a lot longer, her teeth are whiter, and...

SHE HAS BOOBS!

It's a miracle. All the girls I used to know didn't get boobs until they were, like, 15. Becky, she's 13. she's gorgeous, too. I'm going to ask her if she wants to be a model.

4 minutes later

Well, that was quite embarrassing.

"Becky!"

(Splash... wait... another splash... a gurgle or five... then Becky appears)

"Joe! What?"

"Have you ever considered being a model?"

"Why?"

"Because... well, you're getting to that age where you have to figure out what you want to be when you leave school-"

"I don't go to school."

"Well, you know what I mean, right?"

"Er, no?"

"Wrong answer! No, do you want to be a model?"

"Not really."

"WHY!"

"Because... it's not what I want to do."

"What is possibly better than modeling?"

"Well, I wanna be a paleontologist."

"Oh, that's a smart job."

"Yes, Joe, not all of us are so dumb we can't get a decent job, all right?"

"Are you calling me dumb? Are you calling my job indecent?"

"No. well, you're dumb, but your job's good. It's decent. I just don't want to be something where I have to fight for attention and whatever. Being a paleontologist, I can just teach and search and develop ideas. Not all that other feathered sequin crap."

"That's offensive to the models."

"I don't care."

"You would if you were one!"

"BUT I'M NOT!"

Then I walked off.

It was too embarrassing. Uh-oh, she's walking over here now. Aww, she has a pink towel around her. She looks so pretty, dripping wet.

Oh no, she's tapping her foot. I have to stop writing.

1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and a trillion minutes later

"Joe, what is your problem? I mean, I don't want to be a model, I want to do as I like, I can be whoever I want and modeling isn't a career choice for me. I don't really want you to make that decision for me-"

"You're pretty." I blurted out, slapping my forehead inwardly over and over again. If I could, I'd throw myself in a dumpster, or get a fat kid to sit on me.

"You- what?"

"I... er, I think... you're quite attractive... I mean, you would be if I felt like that... which I don't... I have a girlfriend! A pretty one, whoa, so pretty... and she's pretty because I love her, not you... er, I think. I mean, yes, she's pretty, you're ugly- no, you're average. Because friends don't look at each other, and friends don't say that they look pretty."

"Thanks."

"...for what?"

"Saying that. it was nice."

"That's why I said you should be a model. None of this fan-foozle."

"Fan-foozle?"

I just laughed like a depressed loony, and she joined in. she sat on a deckchair and stared at me, and I felt really awkward that I imagined being at a baseball game.

"You're so funny, Joe."

"Oi, oi, you're going down, Yankees!"

Damn, why can't I think inside my head?

"Er, what?"

"I don't know."

Then she laughed again, and patted my arm.

"Are you ok?"

"Pfft, hell yeah."

"Good."

She went to leave, but I tugged on her towel and pulled her towards me.

"BECOME A MODEL!"

But she just jumped back in the pool, giving me the finger. I found that quite rude really, but then I was being a numskull.

Ugh I hate myself! I'm a nincompoop! A failure! No wonder Becky doesn't like me back. All she thinks I am is a friend. Oh yeah, I forgot, she kinda dated my BROTHER. That makes it all worse:'(

4 hours later

It's now... 8pm. Nick and Becky are watching a scary movie, and I'm very jealous. There's a lot of different reasons for my amazing jealousness:

Nick has his arm around her.

They're alone, and in the dark.

He has the last packet of microwave popcorn.

Becky has an amazing little top, it's pink with tiny holes in the three-quarter length sleeves, and it shows a lot of her cleavage (even though it's a tiny cleavage) and she has a black lace bra on that you can see the tips of. Also, this top is seriously tight and it's a little too small and you can see her stomach! Mm, she's hot.

She's wearing leather pants too. When she walked out of Nick's room wearing them, I stupidly said, "Phwoar, Becks, you got me all hot in places I don't want to be." What the hell was that about? I asked myself, but no, she just giggled, slapped my arm and said she was going out with a few mates. I asked her, "What mates?" and she giggled even more and left, her really cool pink jacket (the oneI bought her! Yes! Me!!!!!!) slung over her shoulder. It's a_Pink Ladies_ one, you see.

She has her knees up under her chin, so her boobs look even bigger. Also, the soda is on her side of the couch, so Nick has to lean over whenever he's thirsty, and whenever he does he gets a face full of boob. Lucky him.

Oh yes, I'm explaining why I'm jealous of Nick (leaving out the fact his hair is ultra-uber cool and all the girls fancy the pants off of him because of it and they all say how much they want to kiss his 'perfect, juicy smackeroos.' Damn, I want to be him!).

Lastly, Becky is absolutely terrified of scary movies, and is holding him like he's a teddy bear. She squeezes him whenever something freaky happens and her face is basically _all up in his_. I'm jealous!

Is it healthy to be?

Wait, is it healthy to wan tot shove Nick off the couch, settle myself down and grip Becky myself?

No.

Damn.

9 minutes later

I was watching the film, and I started wondering, why is Becky watching it if it scares her? I mean, I'd be out of the hotel if I was being forced under my will to see something I didn't want to. Then it hit me... she likes Nick! She's all cuddled up to him like he's Jesus or something. It makes me feel sick to my _stomach_. Hasn't Nick realized I love her?

I love her with all my life?!

I'm going to investigate.

Running in and out of the room, trying to spy on Nick and Becky and trying to eavesdrop while not looking suspicious about a billion times later

Aha! I found out! While I was making a pickle sandwich, I heard them talking (they were totally ignoring the film, which is a good film!) and it sounds as if they're secretly dating.

"Hey, I just realized you never told Miley."

"You're right. I don't think I want to."

"Why not?"

"She's kinda scary when she's mad."

"Why don't I do it?"

"She might hit you or something."

"But I want this to work out."

"Me too."

"AHHH!" (scary part)

"I've got you, babes."

"Thank you Nick, you're my hero."

Then as I made my way through the lounge on the way to Kevin's room (which has been abandoned since Kevin is sort of locked in our parent's room since he's turned insane) and I saw their faces were basically touching and they weren't making any noise.

Were they kissing?

What was happening?

I feel like a failure as a person.

Bloody Nora, I just flicked through Nick's diary and he's written 'I feel like a failure' a lot. I never knew he was so depressed. I feel so guilty now. I just read the last thing he put. He wishes I would beat the crap out of him. Sigh, I would, but I'm so busy with my cleaning that he could never possibly get beaten up. By moi, of all people. If Becky helped me, though...

STOP IT, JOE! SHE HATES YOU! YOU ARE A FAILURE! SHE THINKS YOU'RE BEING SWEET AND KIND, NOT FLIRTY. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE MY LIFE.

Well, I'm over that, and I'm going to go listen to them talking.

13 minutes later

I'm behind the couch, and have found myself a notepad and have been scribbling what they've said for what seems like forever. Hey, I've just realized this is a long film. It started at about 7.50pm, and now it's... nearly 8.45pm. oh, I have about another hour of secret spying. Oops, I just stood on Kevin's dog toy. I hope they didn't hear me. AHHHHHHHHH! That's Becky. Obviously there's a good part.

2 minutes later

Oh. My. God. I found the dirtiest dirt of the world.

And it's about Becky. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. It's so big, I've forgotten most of it. Oh, I just remembered, and I'm trying not to freak.

"Nick, what do I do?"

"Why?"

"I think I love someone."

"Oh."

"No, really."

"Oh..."

"Yeah, so... I don't know how to deal with it. He's been really weird lately, and I think he knows I like him."

"Who is it?"

"I can't say."

"Why?"

"Uh... you don't know him?"

"Well, if he causes you any trouble, I'll beat him up for you, okay?"

"That would be awkward..."

"Why?"

"Because he's your- a hard nut. He thinks he's 'it'."

"Oh. Well, I'll teach him a thing or two!"

"I'm sure he's stronger than you. He's older than you, anyway."

"Oh, really? Going for the older men, are we?"

"Well, he's a kid at heart."

Then they stopped talking and I heard Becky shuffling around.

Now, tell me...

WHO DOES THAT REMIND YOU OF!

Me!

She loves me! I think. I wonder how I did it? I was a complete nerd. I acted so differently I didn't know I could act like that.

I amazed myself, so I wonder how amazed she was at my ultra amazing change. Probably not so much, but I swear she keeps looking at Kevin's room, where I'm supposed to be. I think I'll poke my head up.

13 seconds later

Oh, yep, she's looking at the door all right. She loves me, she loves me... or maybe Kevin? Kevin's a weirdo though, so probably not. I'm so happy...

Yet I'm an idiot. I bet I'm wrong. She's probably concerned about me, or wondering what I'm doing in there. Oh, I'm tired... I'll sneak into Kevin's room.

3 minutes later

Sorry about the wait, I needed a wee. So yeah, I'm in Kevin's bed (which is delightfully lumpy) and I'm trying to sleep. Yet I can't, since I'm writing. Oh, I just remembered I should get Kevin out of mom and dad's bedroom. I'll just make the bed, put some flowers in a vase, cook him some dinner and sweep the floor. It's horrifyingly dirty and I'm already shuddering at the thought of leaving it dirty for 5 seconds.

28 minutes later

It took me some time, but I did all my chores, I cleaned Kevin's room, made him some beans on toast, made Becky and Nick some milkshakes (I spat in Nick's, because I'm so jealous) and I swept up the popcorn that covered the lounge floor. Oh my, I feel like a granny.

I just unlocked my parent's room to find Kevin snoring on the bed, all hunched up like a freaking hermit crab. Wait, hermit crab's don't hunch. Hmm...

I had to wake him up, and he went into spastics, calling me a loony and a crap bag and allt his, so I slapped him once or twice and he calmed out, stuffing toast into his mouth and walking into his (clean) room.

Now, I have subsided to my own room, where I feel quite odd and left out.

My Jessica Alba poster is staring at me like I'm stupid.

"What, damn it, what?" I just screamed at it, but it didn't reply. That's it, it's going _in the bin_. Ooh, it's all crumpled now, I feel sad. I love Jessica, I love Emily. What is this cruel inhumane love I have for a 13-year-old who doesn't even like me? Why am I so confused and on the brink of suicide over a silly, little teenager? Who happens to be my new sister, also. Damn, my life's so hard. Well, I decided to give song writing a go, and it's hard when there's all this stuff on your mind. The wrong words come out. Like, I just put:

'A girl with mixed feelings, don't know how she feels. I think that I'm unwrapping just like orange peel. All this stuff I don't want, all clogging my brain. Why am I so bad at the dating game? Dating girls is not for me, but neither is bisexuality. What is wrong, am I suddenly gay? I don't know how to feel, don't know what to say. Ooh, oh no, I just don't know.'

What retard writes about bisexuals? I think I need to lie down on a comfy bed.

Currently jumping on Nick's bed

Wee! I didn't know I could write and jump at the same time. Nick's bed is the comfiest, because, I don't know... but I got so tempted, I had to bounce.

50 minutes later

Whoa! I don't believe it. I just came out of Nick's room, tired of bouncing and heading for my mom's bed, when I saw Becky sitting alone. She looked like she was about to start pooing herself, so I sat down beside her and let her wrap her arms around me. We sat like that for a while, until I felt thirsty and asked her to pass me a soda.

"Get your own damn soda." She said in her angelic voice, and I reached over, just as she pushed her chest out.

I've never had so much boob in my face in my entire life.

Lord, I love you.

"Whoa! Boobs in the face!" I screamed into her cleavage, and she started laughing and pulled my face away.

"You're so stupid. You're a kid at heart." And then she kissed my nose and snuggled down, wrapping her legs around my waist too. It look uncomfortable, and boy, is she flexible.

But, I just found out **she thinks I'm a kid at heart**. She fancies a kid at heart!

Oh my god, I've found a glimpse of hope. And also, I got myself an image I'm never forgetting and two can of soda. And, I just bagged Nick's bed tonight.

---

LOL.

**Signed:****Nick Jonas**

---

**Lol, that's the next chapter. The LOL at the end was from Nick, by the way. I lvoe this confession. It makes no sense. Joe fancies a 13-year-old? (a.k.a me, 13 yesterday :D) lol I dream too much. I, personally, love the song he made. Or, the verse. Off the top of my head, so if you want to use it in any way (I don't see why lol) then I made it up. It's cool, lol.**

**Well, review! **

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**Thanks!**

**CHLOE x **


	17. April Fools Day!

April Fools Day

04/03/07

Hi.

Since Joe stole my diary and wrote such a cool entry, I couldn't write to you about April Fools Day. Well, APRIL FOOLS! Oh, I haven't played a trick on you yet.

Damn it, I'm so annoyed. I'm so annoyed of finding ants in my closet and dirty socks lining the duvet on my bed. Joe has taken this April Fools Day thing too seriously.

Damn, I've just realized he's coated the pen in glue.

It's currently stuck to me.

21 minutes later

Took a whole load of ambulance guys to pull it off, and I had to give Joe super wedgies and rub Kevin's underwear in his face. He's now crying because I threw the iron off the balcony. If you had ears, you'd be able to hear Joe standing over the balcony, screaming for the iron to jump back up.

Flashback

Well, me Joe and Kevin went to the set of Hannah Montana (which was quite awkward for moi) and we all said hello to Miley and Billy. Straight, Joe with the jokes. He threw a pie at Billy's face and was chased for hours, dropped a bucket on Miley, wrote 'Kevin Smellz' on Kevin's forehead while he was asleep, gave me 29 wedgies and pinned me down an drew (against my will) a pen mustache on my top lip. It won't come off, I've tried. I got Joe back, by confiscating the vacuum and locking it in Kevin's room (he won't go in there much because it's so dirty). Also, I smashed 2 glasses and threw the cutlery on the floor. I jumped on all the beds and threw the couch cushions outside. Some kid put them in the elevator, when you walk in, you find little kids lounging around on games consoles. You'll find Kevin there too, with an autograph pen (so he can draw on people's legs, the freak).

You know, it's actually fun annoying Joe. I can trample his clothes, throw everything off the balcony, eat his calorie burner yogurts, leave my trash around the house, sleep in his bed, there's a lot to do and not much time. He's getting his own apartment soon. Well, not soon, but in 2 years, my mom and dad are buying him an apartment for his 20th birthday. And Kevin will either move in with him, or stay at home. He's not well enough to live by himself, god, he'd never survive. Actually, that would be quite funny to watch. Kevin in a house by himself for a month. Sort of like Big Brother, but not. I'm emailing my idea to BBC1.

Well, Joe also tried to wax Billy's top lip, that was quite hilarious. Once Miley was changed, she was completely ignoring me and flirting CRAZILY with Joe, who didn't realize and was busy trying to stick gum in her hair.

Thanks to the TMC, he doesn't really realize that playing a trick on someone is like convincing someone it's Wednesday when it's Friday or something, not completely ruining someone's hairstyle. But he slapped me and said if I said one more word he'd make me lose my virginity to a truck driver. I was quite scared, so I shut up.

When Joe was done waxing Billy's lip, and was counting the hairs he had pulled off, I desperately tried my hardest to get Miley to talk to me, but no, she moved onto Kevin, who was showing people magic tricks. He tried to make an egg boil in her hands, and when she cracked it, the yolk hit her in the face. I laughed loudly, so she gave me the finger (WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT ME, GRR) but Kevin laughed too, did he get the finger? NO! Joe got the finger for other reasons, he pulled down her skirt and I nearly saw her naked again (Joe did, he licked her leg and saw _right_ up her underwear. It was gross, he told Billy and he slapped him. I decided I was about to tell Billy about Miley's sexy pictures on myspace, but for some reason Joe beat me to it, then shouted 'APRIL FOOLS!'

I screamed at him that that wasn't a trick, it was true, but Joe now repeats 'April fools' after nearly every sentence. He's a bit strange.

Billy started to chase me with a weed whacker, which I found strangely SCARY, and he turned it on and everything. I think he actually scraped my leg open with that dangerous, man-eating tool.

Oh yes, there's a large hole in my leg.

Anyway. Joe pushed me into a wall, which hurt very much so. Miley just kept laughing at Joe, for some reason, she thought he was funny. But he definitely wasn't.

Well, I begged for everyone to let me go home, but Kevin told me I was a queer lollipop-licker and I should get a whipping. I got a strange mental image of Kevin wearing a leather jumpsuit, with a spiked collar and dark makeup, with a whip cracking in his hand. It spooked me so much I had to go and recover in a dressing room with Emily, who actually tried to teach me how to knit. She was singing some crazy song that went like, 'the loop goes here and the wool goes there, then a rabbit jumps from a hole and blah.' So I can't remember it, but it was agony listening to her sing it over and over and over.

So I had to leave the room and recover in the company of someone else. To my annoyance, everyone had gone to get some tofu (or something like that) but I found Miley drinking milk in the Hannah Montana kitchen and although she was all dressed up as Miley, I accidentally said "Hey Hannah." And she completely blanked me.

Let me tell you, being nice to your ex-girlfriend is so hard!

"Miley, listen, I'm sorry for, like, everything... I'm really stupid and I don't want this to stand in between our friendship – uh, relationship even." I basically begged her to take me back. I just couldn't stand up for myself, not one tiny, tiny bit. I'm like a legless antelope. I don't know why, but for some reason that's all that came into my head.

"Oh, Nick, you idiot. Since when have we had a relationship?" she answered coldly, and I sort of jumped about three feet backwards. Warning to all you guys out there, don't get on the bad side of Miley Cyrus. She'll rip your head off and eat it. Okay, maybe she won't but, **you get the picture**.

"Since... we started dating? Since I came on your show? Since we KISSED?"

"Since when did we break up then, Nick? Since you dated Bridget? Since you perv on me? Since you KISS ANOTHER GIRL, FILM IT AND POST IT ON THE INTERNET?"

"Um, when I 'perved' on you, I was coming to warn you about that... sorry."

"No amount of sorries are going to change my mind. You humiliated me! I told my friends about us, and then they phone me up, laughing at me and saying I was making stuff up! I watched the video. I watched it all, I watched every second of it. It burnt my eyes Nick, you puckering up to that little hobo kid..."

"She is not a hobo! She's my friend! And Bridget was a mistake. I was confused. I thought you liked Joe. You have to understand what I'm standing in the middle of here!"

"Well, your life seems so perfect, you have your family, you have your 'best friend' Bridget, you have your hobo friend, you have the fittest brothers ever; so don't tell me that there's anything wrong with you!"

I stayed silent for most of 5 minutes, waiting to see if she would add anything. but no, she was busy scoffing down yogurts from the refrigerator on set. I didn't want to say anything to offend her, because she had a pretty neat life as well, but I stayed quiet. Emily came out after a while and tried to spice up our conversation, but nothing worked. I started dreaming about dying alone, I thought that in 10 years time, I would be lonely, forgotten, jobless, I would have no friends or money, I would live on the streets, begging people for quarters, and I would try and sing but the shortage of water would've made my voice croaky and untrained. I'd see billboards with my brother's faces on them, advertising concerts. I'd beg for tickets, claiming I was their long-lost brother, but not even Frankie remembered me. I'd see Miley in the street, surrounding by gorgeous, hunky men, and I would return to my little makeshift bed outside a corporate building and I'd cry to my dog, Hermes. Then I'd die at the age of 45, surviving on trash from the bins and the kind people's McDonald's leftovers...

"I'm going out for a walk." Miley interrupted my depressing thoughts and got up, wiping yogurt from her mouth. I wanted to cry again. No, wait, I was dreaming of crying. Damn, I want my dog Hermes. He was a good dog.

"No, wait, I'm not letting you go without a fight." I said, and in my head it sounded brave and manly, but outside, in the cruel open world of no superheroes, I sounded like a pathetic geek. I thought about what I had said for a moment, and it didn't make it any easier that Miley had turned all sarcasto on me.

"Who are you fighting, the door? Am I some damsel in distress to you? Do I need saving, Superman?"

"Actually, I wouldn't be Superman if I was a superhero. Joe would be Superman, but... I just meant I want us to be cool again. I don't wan to fight."

"Alright, here it is then. I'm fine with the fact you're 'in love' with me again. I just don't feel the same way. Nick, you have to realize that life isn't one big storybook! There are difficult times, there are decisions that need to be made and if you want us to be cool, then so be it. But nothing in this relationship can develop. I don't think we can even be friends. It's just you, me and a big, empty world that stands in the way of all things good for us. So goodbye." It was like a lecture. It felt like I was in school. I didn't listen to every word, because I was literally falling asleep after the effort of following her fast voice, but I heard that she doesn't want us to be friends. Nothing can develop. But, it's just me and her. Isn't that supposed to be romantic?...

Okay, maybe not. I searched it on this blog site and someone said that her and her boyfriend broke up, and she said... wait, I'll write what she put:

'_I feel as if me and Joe aren't going anywhere. I think that he's either in love with someone else, or just bored of me. So I ended it. I ended it before something could happen to me. Sure, it hurt me, and some of the things he said in his defense were harsh, but I'm actually happy. Now, no one comes up to me and says, "how's Joe?", they just come up and ask how __**I**__ am. And that's the way I've always wanted it. There's no 'us' anymore, no 'they', it's just me. It's me, and then there's him. There's nothing else that can explain it better than there's fire, and then there's ice. They don't go together, they don't match or have anything. it's just them.'_

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have written all that, since now I have hand cramps, but there's a lot more paragraphs than that. Oww, it hurts so much to write. Goodbye!

3 hours and 19 minutes later (if you want to be precise, it's 27 seconds too. Oh, now it's 32)

Wow. Becky is so annoying sometimes.

I mean first, she makes my idiotic brother fall in love with him, and he's creased 'I heart Becky' into most of my clothes with the iron, and then she tries to ruin my friendship (or what's left of it, which isn't much, but I'm getting there) with Bridget.

"Wow, am I stumped." Becky said, walking in and collapsing on the couch. I asked her what was wrong, and she just confessed the whole story to me. In fact, she wrote it down because she didn't want to talk, she had a headache; so I'll go find what happened and stick it in.

Okay, no, Becky can't spell anything, so I'll just write it for myself.

Becky's conversation

**Bridget and Becky were sitting downstairs, Bridget was on her break and had a flannel covering her face, she was obviously stressed.**

"**Hey, what's wrong?" Becky asked, but Bridget wasn't really speaking to her either. Apparently, it was all Nick's fault and now Bridget wouldn't talk to anyone who Nick spoke to.**

"**Tell me, it might make you feel better if you tell someone." Becky kept pestering Bridget, and she finally caved in. she only had a short break though, so Bridget got her assistant, Marcus to cover for her.**

"**Well, it's all this work and stuff... and there's this new chocolate bar, specially low fat, and the manager keeps asking for them and I can't order any... I've just told him the shipping's slow. If they don't come in next week, I'll get an unsatisfactory mark in my work report, and I so don't need that."**

"**Well, can't you get Nick to order some? I mean, he's famous, maybe they'll find an 'extra batch' or something. They always do that in the movies." Becky suggested, but Bridget stared at her as if she was crazy.**

"**I'm not on speaking terms with Nick. I'm surprised I'm even wasting my time, talking to you. You're like his little slave or something."**

"**Hey, I'm an independent woman. Don't you dare say anyone controls me, because that isn't true."**

"**Like you care, anyway. You're like, what, 8? Go get a paper round, missy."**

"**Okay, you can stop being rude now! Nick loves you, like a friend, anyway; but he loves you and you don't know how much it's killing him!"**

"**Do you know how annoyed I am at that boy? It's hard to forgive a boy who first uses you, then shouts your secret to the whole hotel! I've had maids and chefs coming up to me and patting me on the back, some want to see my bruises, some offer to call the police for me, some say they'll beat him up for me, and I have no idea if they've actually done something... if they'll have, he'll kill me for sure."**

"**Well, he was upset too. You kept winding him up as well."**

"**But mine was a joke! He blurted my worst nightmare out to 150 workmates! I don't want to forgive him!"**

"**Why not?"**

"**Just leave me alone Becky! Go tell him I hate him!"**

"**But you don't, do you? You love him too, you're just upset!"**

"**Then why isn't he down here, telling me all this stuff?!"**

"**He's tired! He went down to the TV studios today and it's like whacked all the energy out of him."**

"**What, been kissing his girlfriend Miley too much?"**

"**No, actually, they're not talking either."**

"**Oh, too bad."**

"**Can't you just work things out? I mean, you used to like each other, how can that just change, like _that_?"**

"**Because this is reality." Bridget snapped, obviously getting extra stressed, and she walked towards the staff room, meaning Becky couldn't follow her.**

Hello, Nick again. :) and then, after that, I found out Bridget nearly quit her job, the maid told me when I slipped her a twenty... real life sometimes **is** like the movies!

She told me that after Bridget had gone into the staff room, she grabbed her lunch and made a break for the toilets. The maid followed her in and started to clean the cubicles, but she could hear Bridget crying. She stayed in there for about an hour, and then the maid watched her walk out, food untouched, and she told the manager she wanted different hours on her shift. Well, here's the conversation:

"Sir, I want a different shift. Please."

"Why?"

"I can't handles the afternoons. I still have so much work going on that..."

"Have you got my low fat chocolate bars yet?"

"Sir, are they for the candy stall, or for you?"

"Er, both? Well, where are they?"

"I haven't been able to order them, okay? Now just change my shift, please!"

"I won't until you get my chocolate."

"Would you rather I quit?"

"No, because then I'll have to get a new candy counter girl, and I don't want to have to do that! You're the best I've got, Bridget."

"You mean, the best you had. Goodbye, sir."

"Bridget! I'll change your hours!"

"Uh, okay. Thanks."

And then apparently she excused herself from work and went to her mom's. I thanked the maid and walked in a trance into my room.

I've never known Bridget to be such a wreck. I really want to help her, but she'll get her serial killer boyfriend on me. I really don't know how to help.

---

**Hello.**

**Hi.**

**How are you?**

**I'm good, thanks. Well, anyway, I have some news.**

**I have to tell you something... well, I have to introduce you to nine of my friends. They're all here, waving to you, but you can't see them.**

**Their names are: Fairy-Lips, Fairy-Hair, Fairy-Fingers, Fairy-Wings, Fairy-Hands, Fairy-Knees, Fairy-Eyes, Fairy-Ears, and the most important... President Fairy-Feet, president of Fairytopia. Well, he was, but he resigned since in 2014 Fairytopia is being blown up. Then, Fairy-Feet is going to work for the president of America, and he'll pour coffee and water the plants in the Oval Room. Doesn't that sound exciting? It does to me. When I become President, I'm getting 200 fairy slaves to have tea parties with me. Now, doesn't that sound fun?**

---

I'm too depressed to say much more. I only have my family and Becky to support me now. Oh yes. And Hermes. Oh, I love that dog.

**Signed:****Nick Jonas**

---

**Well, there it is. Sorry if it's been such a long time, I was stuck for ideas, so this one's kinda shorter and sort of crap, as well. Sorry again :)**

**Please give me ideas, I have ideas for I think chapters up to Ch. 35, but then I'm stumped. Any holidays or something? Please, but no storylines...**

**Thanks if you do... **

**chloeHEARTx**


	18. Fat Face

Fat Face

04/09/07

"Hello Nick."

...SHE SAID THAT TO ME! Bridget! I was just walking past the counter, and I bought a chocolate gar from Marcus, and she actually spoke to me. The first time in a very long time, let me tell you! She also gave me a card or something for my parents, something about Joe stealing chocolate and blaming it on toddlers. I don't know, but she actually spoke to me. I wonder if the letter's real anyway... she could've just given it to the manager and he'd have a bellboy send it up to us. But no, she gives it to ME, and she speaks to me! She said 15 words in total. I said nothing to her, since I was in shock, but I've been smiling at her each time I see her. (I've been counting, I've seen her 19 times and I've gotten 3 smiles out of her, yet I think 1 of them was to someone else and another was before she realized who I was, but I am getting there! Have I mentioned Becky is just amazing?)

She said, "Hello Nick. What's up? Before I forget, give this to your parents for me. Thanks." And then she disappeared into the staff room and I saw her come out after 3 minutes and 19 seconds with a maid, and they were chasing each other with feather-dusters. Marcus joined me and we stared (they're both so hot and their uniforms are short!) for a while, but then I left to go find Miley. I really want to talk to her and figure out what she meant.

I went to leave, but then Becky came running up to me and basically threw me onto the couch. I screamed and cursed a lot, but she was all out of breath and grinning.

"What?" I yelled angrily, but I didn't down her mood one bit. She was ecstatic about something... maybe Kevin had been feeding her gummy worms and Red Bull. _Damn it, _those are my Red Bull's in the fridge! Ugh!

"Guess who's going out tonight?" she jeered, and I was all, huh?

"Huh?" I asked, and she clapped and jumped a few times, which I found SO ADORABLE, I even saw Joe watching from behind a pot-plant, I guess he thinks he was 'secretly' spying on his one-true-love, Becky.

"Me, you, Joe and Kevin are going to see your Gran! She's in town this weekend and mom's planned for us to go stay with her at this country hotel for 2 days!"

"She owns a country hotel."

"Oh, well we're staying there then! Because she came back from her holiday to Malibu 4 days ago, apparently, that's what our parent's were told!"

Yes, Becky calls my family her family. Poor Joe, he'll become crippled and insane when she starts calling him brother. Although, I swear I saw her looking at his butt, and although my brother does have a pretty good butt, I wouldn't stare at it. I would if I was comparing it to mine, but I don't do that sort of thing.

56 seconds later

Hey, I just checked, and my butt is definitely better than Joe's. I asked for Kevin's opinion, but he just old me fairies don't care about looks, although they prefer men to have yellow wings. Too bad all his G.I Joe's have blue wings, he said they're all single and very unattractive, they date over the internet and such as such. I tend not to listen to Kevin anymore. Not since his medical problem. (I have to call it that because my mom said if I write that he's retarded or mental, she'll ground me. Although I'm not letting her read this. This would make toddlers cry.)

Oh yes, well anyway, Becky was staring at Joe's butt. Both me and Kevin know about his crush (since I told Kevin by 'accident'...) and Becky knows that he watches her when she doesn't realize it (because I told her too, but then again, it's not hard to miss Joe hiding behind pot-plants and spying through the closet keyhole. He also mutters stuff, so you'd hear him anyway.) But Becky doesn't seem that bothered about it. I think she blames the TMC. So do I... I just feel sorry for Emily, Joe's not returning her calls or anything. and I thought he was absolutely crazy for her... I had to tell Emily that Joe has a phobia of phones, and each time she comes round, we have to hide the phone in Kevin's room, and when it starts to ring I have to pinch Joe subtly, but hard enough to make him screech. Twice I've stood on his toe and I've swore at him. He hates swearing, he thinks it's the Devil language and complains that it's dirty, but it's a dirty he can't clean. I burst out laughing at this point, and he confiscated the TV remote, causing Kevin to go ape and smash all our plates. (We're in serious debt with this hotel, I think they'd be better off just burning our room when we move out.) 

Well,**anyway**, I was getting somewhere but I'm getting sidetracked. Becky was staring at Joe's butt. Yes, she was, and not subtly either. It was when we were watching TV, and the International Reservoir advert came on, the one with the robot music, and he started dancing, and whilst me and Kevin were clapping and whatever, Becky was just laughing and watching his butt. I got quite scared.

Hey, now that I mention it, I've been seeing Becky act quite differently. She's staring at his butt, she's laughing at his jokes, she washed the dishes for him and unloaded the washing machine (although Joe was paranoid she'd done it wrong and did them over himself) and she's also nearly forgotten Kevin exists, which makes him feel like crap.

Oh yes, that reminds me, me, Becky, and mom have to have a conference on what to do with Kevin. He's not moving out anytime soon, unlike Joe, who is in 2 years. Like I said last week, drat, I'm repeating myself. But yes, we have to talk about how we're going to share shifts on helping him. My dad and Frankie have moved out, to get closer to his school, since we're a few miles out, but no worries, my parents aren't divorcing. Well, I hope not, because that would be awful...

Well, anyway, so I've written a nice, long introduction about my whereabouts in the past few days (well, actually, me and Joe had to go to some meeting about our next tour, but that's not till ages away, so don't worry diary, we've got a few months together, at least!) oh, and Kevin has finally figured out how to use toilet paper again. Hurrah.

Well, yes, today I went to Miley's house to see if I could figure out**what the hell she meant. She wouldn't tell me over the phone, she said if anything she'd tell it to my face. **C'mon, would you've given up by now? Can't she tell I have to be crazy in love to chase after her for so long? I could settle for any cute girl I want, I could have Becky (who I used to fancy) and even Bridget (well I would, but she hates me) and I could have loads others, but no, I want her. Why? Why damn it, WHY?! 

But I've come to a conclusion that I enjoy being in her presence. Even if that means just standing and posing next to a life-size cutout of her, I still enjoy being in her presence... I just feel so gifted to stand next to her. To be pictured with her...

Ooh. Now I don't.

I just googled her and all these disgusting 'myspace pics' came up, and some of them are so sluttish... I'm having second thoughts. I think I should through out my life-size cutout and GET ONE OF HER IN A BIKINI! OH YEAH!

No, I'm joking, it's sick and she shouldn't be doing it. I felt this way yesterday when I saw them then. I stormed over to her house to confront her, but I found her taking pictures of her... I'm not mentioning it in you, diary, you're too precious. I know, I'll write it on my hand... NO, my mum will kill me if she reads it. Okay, deep breaths diary...

She was like, semi-naked, lying on her couch with her legs spread WIDE. So wide, I actually wanted to jump on top, but I remembered my purity ring and instead I slapped the camera from her hand.

No, but seriously, this was no joke shot; she had a bra and a _thong_. Her dad' trusts her so much, I bet he doesn't know she has a thong! I browsed through the other pictures while she was getting dressed, and there were worse ones. I asked her if she was putting them on myspace, but she said she was just bored.

"This isn't acceptable, Miley, if someone could get these, like a pedophile, something really bad could happen to you! And I don't want you to get hurt, Miles." I warned her, but she just shrugged it off and asked if I wanted a beer. I was kinda shocked at first, because, good-two-shoes Miley Cyrus is drinking beer under the rood of Mr. Scary Billy Ray Cyrus!

But I slowly agreed and she went through about 10 doors, then came back with two bottles of root beer. Pfft.

"Miles, by beer I thought you meant _real_ beer..."

"I did, you doof. I had to disguise it in these bottles though, so my daddy doesn't find out."

"But what if one day he decides he wants a root beer, comes upstairs, finds yours and drinks one? Then he'll know for sure, Miss Miley!"

"Relax, Nick, I've hidden them behind many, many root beer bottles."

"How many root beer bottles do you have?"

"36; 12 are real beer. The 12 are at the back though."

Man, just the way she was so cool about it, the way it seemed like she didn't care one bit... it was quite mind-blowing, yet very intimidating. It made me feel turned on ;).

No, not really. But after a couple more beers (I don't know how many, but it must've been a few too much because I remember chatting up her mannequin) I started to flick through those pictures of her again and I stopped on a gross one. She had her hand on her boob, and she had the tiniest bikini top on ever, and she had no bottoms, well, a translucent sarong, and you could see her butt as clear as day (her body was like all twisted) and I said, "Ooh, I like this one." And she said she'd pose like it, just for me. She locked her door, and went back into her closet to change. I sat down and flicked through a few more, and then I stopped.

Oh my god, I can see the picture when I close my eyes!

She was completely naked, she was really sweaty and she was sitting on the floor, her legs stretched out and her boobs hanging down really far, since she was hunching over. I puked a little in my mouth.

Sure, it's gotta be nice for some, but she was my ex-girlfriend. I don't want to see her naked anymore! I don't want to enjoy her presence!!

She came out when she heard me screaming. She was wearing her bra, and although it was covering everything, I screamed again.

"For the love of god, woman, wear some clothes next time!" I screamed, and I showed her the picture. She just laughed and told me she was so bored, and that that picture was for me only. It usually would've made me feel better, but I had one thing on my mind. Just one, minor little thing...

I grabbed her boob. I grabbed it. And then I pulled her closed, and I kissed her. Long, long and hard. No tongues, though, because she was quite drunk herself and I didn't want to take advantage of her gorgeous, sexy state. I laid her on a bed, and told her to sleep. 

"I don't want to! I'm not tired."

"Please, just go to sleep."

"No!"

"You need your beauty sleep!"

"What're you trying to say?"

"That you're gorgeous within your lovely, slightly rounded face?"

"_Slightly rounded?_"

I didn't know that that line would've given me daggers, otherwise I would've said a slightly diamond-shaped face. Or squared face. Or elegant featured face. I don't know. What was I thinking?!

"Well, yes, you have a lovely full face."

"And, what does that mean then?"

"Well, if you're thinking I'm calling you fat, well, everyone has a little fat on them..."

"Are you calling me **fat** now?"

"What was I calling you before?!"

"Oh, I don't know, but you can't call me fat, I love you, for dear god's sake!"

"You do?"

"Yes, and that's not the drink talking. I love you, Nick Jonas."

And then her lips touched mine for a millisecond, before she disappeared behind a curtain, mumbling to herself.

"How can you call me fat? I'm not face. I'm not a fat face. If I do, I'm dieting... OH MY GOD! My face is round! Oh my god, Nick, oh my god, ah, Nick, ah!" she started screaming, coming back out from behind the curtain, and I noticed she had finally found herself a hoodie to slide over her beautiful, un-rounded body.

"Babe, you're not fat. Your face isn't round, it's more... square..."

"What?! I'm a square person? Square? That means boring, right? Damn it, I'd rather be fat!"

"Fine, be fat then!"

"Nick, you gay!"

"How about, pointy chin?"

"Damn it, Nick, can't you tell me my face is perfect?"

"Well, it's not. Nobody's perfect, credited from your own song."

"Screw my songs. I should be perfect, in your eyes anyway, because I'm your girlfriend and we're very much in love."

"You're perfect." I whispered, and this was one of those picture-perfect moments. I picked up her camera proudly and took a picture of us together, and I took several hundred more. There were just random pictures of us talking, kissing, laughing, and there was one of Miley checking for spots. She said she'd cherish every single un-blurry one.

I smiled and left. I was happy again! Yippee! I had a girlfriend again! Boy, that's the best feeling. Now I no longer need a cutout. I have the real thing.

THE REAL THING!

2 hours later

Before I go, because like I said before, I'm going to visit my Gran after her long stay somewhere far away, apparently we've been invited to stay at her country hotel. Yes, my Gran owns a country hotel. She's an amazing woman. Peace out, grandmamma. 

Well, anyway, I'll give you the lowdown... my butt hurts.

Me and Joe had a fight with a towel. And my butt officially stings so bad.

We were prancing around in our shower room, and I was completely naked and he had boxers on (we're brothers, who cares if we watch each other shower? Joe's gay, yes, but that has nothing to do with this!) and when I had done, I tied a towel around me and started to brush my teeth. Joe kept grinning at me, and for a moment I was petrified he had a crush on me, but instead he spammed me and gave me a really, really painful nouggie (you know what they are, when someone literally tears the hair from your head whilst holding you in a headlock... it hurts) and I flicked toothpaste at him, then he whipped off his boxers and got showered. When he got out, before he had the chance to grab his towel, I pulled it off the towel rack and I whipped his bare butt with it. He screamed so loudly, I think the manager heard from the lobby. He chased me out into the lounge, completely naked, and he started pummeling me on the couch. 

It was nice. I had my old brother back, the one who didn't obsess over gravy stains on out plates or bits of food stuck to the forks, creases in his socks or a loose button on his shirt. He just loved to beat me up until I cried, and then I would tell off him and get control of the remote for the rest of the week. I honestly missed that.

He tied the towel around his waist slowly, getting up from on top of me and giving me evils. I saw Becky walk in, and I nearly fell off the couch when I saw the way she stared down my brother.

Oh.

My.

God.

Becky fancies my brother. Oh yes she does.

"Hey. What's up?" she asked, and I looked down at her cream vest-top and her black shawl, and her black mini-skirt with bright pink tights and black tap shoes.

I smiled faintly at her weird sense of style, but then I realized she was holding up two shirts, one orange with pink spots, and one pink with all different colored shapes scattered across it. I numbly chose the orange one, and she clapped her hands and kissed my cheek, before skipping back into my room.

"Becky, wait..."

I stormed into my room to find Becky standing in her bra, stroking the orange shirt.

"What, do you think the other one's better?"

I was a bit taken back to see my 'sister' so nakedly, but then I remembered I was wearing just a towel.

"No, I need some clothes." I crossed to my wardrobe, and opened it to find it empty. I turned to Becky for an explanation, and she just looked at the pile of clothes outside the door. Jeez, I didn't notice they were there.

"Oh yeah, I sorta moved them because mom bought me extra clothes, and I didn't think I could fit them in my chest of drawers, so I cleared the wardrobe for space. I'm sorry."

Then she got back to getting dressed.

"Well, why didn't you put them back then?!"

"Well, mom's gonna obviously buy me some more, isn't she?"

"You spoilt bugger." I muttered under my breath and grabbed up my clothes, settling them in a pile in the lounge. How dare she?

She's kicking me out of my own room. The bloody cheek. How annoying is this? She thinks she dominates the world. She fancies my brother, she sucks up to my mom, she ignores my other brother, and she rules my bedroom.

The bitch. 

**Signed:****Nick Jonas**

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

**Damn this earth. I can no longer put three dashes as usual, but I have to sink to putting a whole load of hugs and kisses. Pfft. I don't hug and kiss that much.**

**Wow. I love writing this story. I don't care if no one likes it, I just enjoy writing it. Please, go ahead and review, tell me what you think. Nick reveals a quite 'naughtier' side today, more cursing, yelling, naked pictures and he's seeing everything in the wrong eye... Hmm...**

**Suggestions? None yet, lol, x **


	19. When Gran Died

04/10/07

Sniff. Sniff. Oh, it's so sad.

Me, Joe, Kevin and Becky all got into this big black limo our Gran had sent for us (she's so super kind, and rich!) and we all were hyped up and Becky was really excited at meeting her first grandparent. She was twittering on, and I was like _yawnnnn_, and Joe was obviously listening (because of his gigantic not-so-secret crush on her). I was still annoyed; since Becky shouldn't be ALLOWED to fancy my brother, no, scratch that, **her** brother! Jeez, it really pees me off... that I wasn't allowed to like her.

NO!

Scratch that... SCRATCH IT SCRATCH IT SCRATCH IT!!

I never liked her. Ahem, I **never** liked her... oh, who am I kidding. You're a diary; you keep my secrets, I LIKED HER OKAY?

So yes, and in the car Becky was googly eyes with Joe, and I wanted to throw up so bad (yet I didn't want to ruin the evening... heck, if anything, Joe and Becky were ruining the evening!) but I held back my puke and smiled as if I was actually _listening_. For some reason, Kevin understood that I felt like crap, and he put his arm around me and poured me juice. Becky told me she wasn't going to have my heart rate pumping any faster than usual, and since this was a big moment for me (I knew she meant herself) she didn't want anything to ruin the evening (**for her obviously, she didn't care one bit about me!**) and she wouldn't let me have ANYTHING fizzy. Joe started going 'aww, you're so sweet Becky, I love you!' and I was literally gagging, right there.

When we pulled up to the hotel, there was no Gran standing by the door, wearing leather pants (as grandma's do), and there were no banners saying 'hello there grandchildren.' (Yes, my granddaddy makes banners, and he's damn good at it too!) But there was some butler holding one of those round silver platters. Kevin stepped out of the limo, since he was by the window, otherwise we'd never let him out. So yes, he stepped out, and the butler opened that round thing (it was like so posh, Becky was acting like she'd won a million dollars, and she hugged Joe repeatedly... _I'm not writing through gritted teeth right now_...)

"Oh my god." Kevin said, and then burst into tears. I've never seen him so upset, and that's saying something... when he gets upset, he screams and smashes plates and stuff. Now, it was just pure tears. I jumped out of the car and took what was in his hands: a letter. I know, I was thinking the same thing: who needs some posh butler and a round platter thingy to present a stinking letter? But then I opened it and read what it said:

_Dear Joe, Kevin, Nick, Becky and Franklin; sadly, it's that time in my life when I'm, well... not around as much as I usually am. (_By this time, I was thinking, what, is she moving to Europe?) _I suppose you've received this letter by a butler or someone. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to say one last goodbye. _(Now I'm thinking she's packed up and left for the Peace Corps or something. I was starting to get a little worried...) _This is one of the hardest letters I've ever had to write. Oh, I loved you all so dearly... and Becky, dear, I didn't even meet you. I understand you were going to be my granddaughter. My __only__ granddaughter... oh, how much I looked forward to meeting you! I'd known about you since you moved in with the Jonas's, that was, oh, I don't know how long ago... not that long, but long enough to get me excited. Very excited. So, I haven't met you yet... but I will, don't worry. I'll meet all of you again. In heaven. _(Now I started to sob, but she hadn't confirmed it yet... do you understand how horrible it feels to be told by LETTER that your Gran, the best Gran in the **world**, had died?! It feels gross...) _I think you've all understood by now. Paul Kevin II Jonas, Joseph Adam Jonas, Nicholas Jerry Jonas, Franklin Nathaniel Jonas, Becky Louise Jonas. This is my final goodbye. I love you all equally, don't worry about that. Well, I haven't got much more to say, apart from the fact it stings, because I've never thought about how much it'd hurt writing this... or even experiencing this. Experiencing death. _(Now I screamed NOOOO! And I looked up to see everyone reading over my shoulder, and they were all nearly crying as well. I burst into tears and looked back at the final part... oh god it hurts to remember...) _So yes, there we go. I'm dead, and I'm very, very sorry. I love you all so, so much and I wish I could be there to give you a last hug and kiss. I've never felt so empty. Love, Gran x_

"No! No, Gran, where are you? This isn't funny!" I screamed, but when I saw the _butler_ shaking and whimpering, I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around my head. I felt like a bum. I felt so dirty, so... I felt wrong. I felt guilty. I wanted to scream and hit everything and everyone in sight. I looked up to see Kevin and Joe hugging, and Joe's shoulder's were shaking (from what I could see) and Kevin's cheeks were very wet and shiny, and for about a millisecond I thought _it's the real Kevin back again!_ But then I collapsed into tears again. Becky walked up and whispered that she was sorry, and (remembering I said I wanted to hit everything and everyone) I lashed out and slapped her before letting my face fall onto the stones on the drive. It wasn't very comfortable, I can remember now, but I didn't care. I felt uncomfortable anyway. I felt as if I should be the one in heaven.

"Nick, I know you're upset... I just want to help." I heard Becky say, and when I looked up she was crying too. I ignored her though, I felt like crap and I didn't care one bit about Becky... until Joe wrapped his arms around her.

I started going ape. I screamed at the top of my voice (it's not that high, considering my voice has sort of broken, but it's still early days so it sounded _really_ gay) and I started chucking stones at everyone, my fingers clawed at the ground for ages; Kevin, the butler and (finally) Joe tried to stop me, because the ends of my fingers were all scraped and blood gushed out of each one but I didn't stop. Becky placed her hand on my shoulder, **as if it would help me calm down**, but I just slapped at her hand, splattering blood on everyone (yeah, I know, it was soooooooo cool, but then I was crying too much to care.)

I know I must sound like a real baby, but this grandma was really close to us. Our other grandma died pretty early, since she had cancer or something like that, and Gran had suffered with some illness for ages, and we were scared shitless, because we didn't want to lose our only Gran, so we cared for her as if she was 2 people. She seemed like 2 people anyway; she owned a hotel, yet she could go on holidays and family visits nearly every month. She's that sort of loving grandma one second, and then some busy 50-year-old the next. Actually, I have no idea how old she was.

She was just really special to all of us... I was upset that I didn't have as much time with her as Joe and Kevin. When I wasn't born, my mom, dad, Joe and Kevin lived with Gran, and when I was born we all moved out. I was gutted when I was told, I was about 10 and I had been told Gran was moving out of the city and somewhere else. I thought it was my fault she had to move, but it was actually because some guy offered her loads of money for her house, the money that got her the hotel, and she decided moving to the country would be for the best.

When I stopped crying, and I let the butler wrap bandages around my hands, I looked over at Becky to see she was fuming. Her cheek was bright red where I had slapped her, and she was hugging Joe (which made me want to hit her again... man I'm so jealous) and she was giving me (not-so) secret evils over his shoulder. I merely smiled at her and walked shakily inside the hotel and found granddad in a chair in the staff room. I climbed onto his lap and patted his balding head. Well, I say it's bald, he has about three hairs. So it's close. But he thinks he's just thinning, and even proudly combs his three hairs as if they're his world.

But seeing my granddaddy like this; in a chair with his eyes closed and all shaky in places, I knew he lost his world. His three hairs were the only things he lived for now. That and us, of course. Kevin followed me in and patted granddad's shoulder, and then Joe and Becky walked in. I scowled at Becky because she had the nerve to stand next to me and smile at my granddaddy, something she should never do when I'm jealous (wow I just admitted it fully and properly... huh) but anyway Becky is an idiot.

During dinner, I sat next to Becky (I did not choose to, Kevin and Joe sat on the other side, granddad sat at the end of the table and no one dared to touch the seat Gran sat in) so I was stuck with stupid old mean pants Becky. When our soups came I barely touched mine, I stirred it for ages... just like my old granddaddy did. He was so skinny it looked like he hadn't eaten since she died. (By the way... she died on holiday, wherever she went, and that was about 2 weeks ago. So my granddaddy was getting seriously skinny!) But then when our steaks came, and man I love steak, I couldn't help but eat every little scrap on my plate. And thankfully granddad started to eat as well, although he didn't polish his plate like I did. I looked and saw Becky was staring at me, and I felt like screaming at her and storming up to my room, but I didn't. She smiled at me, a smile so sweet it made my insides bubble up... but then I swallowed the feeling and took a sip of water. Actually, it was more than a sip; I tipped back the glass and drank until it felt like my lungs were filling with water. But it saved me from seeing Becky and Joe smiling sickly at each other.

"So, kids, I guess you've all finished now... John will take you to your rooms where you can unpack." Granddad announced finally, standing up slowly and dismissing us with a wave of his hand.

"What, no dessert?" Kevin moaned momentarily, but I pushed him out of the dining room and told him it wasn't the time. Sheesh, he's so annoying to look after. He acts like he's three, although I don't think a three year-old has such a colorful language as Kevin does...

Well, anyway, I've found out (hurrah) that me and Joe are sharing a room. Usually that'd be an okay thing, since Kevin will wake me up in the middle of the night and ask what time it is, and Becky would just annoy the hell out of me with her Joe talk and her secret, subtle seducing. I swear she toys with my feelings deliberately... sometimes I regret letting her move in with us. I should've left her with her friendly squirrels!

Oh, that reminds me, Joe also has dominated Becky's pet squirrel, and thinks that it's a good idea to let him sleep on my bed.

"Joe, get that rodent of my bed now!" I screamed at him _numerous_ times, but he wouldn't move it. I hate that stupid squirrel. It reminds me of the painful truth that BECKY ISN'T MINE! It's hard to come to terms with such thoughts. She could've been the one...

And so could've Miley. **But**, I won't go into that today. There's too much weird going on to think about _her_. She makes me weak at the knees, although Becky tried to assure me she was just a slut and I shouldn't like her so much. She says that she obviously likes me enough to toy with my feelings (and that's where I get the feeling that Becky is in love with me, ha) and that I should move on and let her fall flat on her face.

"Mr. Nuts wants to go under the covers, Nicky!" Joe shouted to me, and I thought my head was about to burst. I don't know what I was thinking, really. I just grabbed up the squirrel, open the window and chucked him as far as I could. Joe screamed out in horror, calling Becky's name until she appeared at the door, her hair in a towel. Even worse, she was only _wearing a towel_, and I had trouble breathing for a while after she walked in.

"What's all the shouting 'bout?" she asked coolly, as if she didn't notice how I was literally drooling at her. I know she did, though, because I saw her smirk and then she pulled the towel off of her head, making her hair tumble around her shoulders. I wanted to yank the hair from her head, but before I knew what I was doing, I had sunk to my knees and was crying pitifully.

"Oh Becks, I'm so sorry! The squirrel just jumped out of the window... I think he went over to that tree there. I didn't mean to, I just opened the window for some air and the squirrel went nuts! He jumped up at me, making me fall back into the window, opening it really far and he jumped out and ran! I'm so sorry, I wish I could reverse time and keep the window closed, I honestly do!" I heard myself whimpering, and I felt my heart sink. I was officially crazy! She'd made me do some random crying and lying. I _never_ lie, unless it's necessary or a simple yes/no question. Or exaggeration; but exaggerating isn't the same as lying, is it?

Well, Becky placed a hand on her chest and started to cry; she ran over to the window, deliberately standing on my left so the wind blew the coconut smell of her shampoo into my face. She cried 'Nutty! Mr. Nuts!' for about five minutes, while I watched Joe furiously tugging on some shoes, tears in his eyes, ready to go search for 'Mr. Nuts'. I was stuck in a hellhole! A basically naked, hot girl screaming out the window, an 18 year-old incapable of putting on shoes, and I'm trying to wipe squirrel hair off of my duvet. I ended up swapping sheets with Joe, Becky ended up back in the shower because she was cold after hanging out the window with no clothes on, and I was watching Joe dance around outside, screaming random languages and flapping his arms about. I don't know _what_ he was doing, but it somehow attracted many, many squirrels and they stood around him in a circle, watching him with confused looks on their faces.

"Hmm, you're not Mr. Nuts."

"What are you, a monkey?! Get outta here!"

"Whoa, someone ate too many nuts..."

"Oww! Don't bite me, you evil rodent! Bah!"

...and the torture of Joe inspecting the squirrels and shouting insults at them at 3am kept me awake. All night. What's worse, Becky was scared Mr. Nuts was gone forever so she slept in my bed. With me. What's worse, is that when I came to bed, she was lying in a nightdress which stopped, like, 12 inches above her knee (I don't know I'm not a measuring scientist guy!) and it was this silky material that makes all guys horny. Unfortunately (for either of us), I'm not much of a fan of PJ's, so I went to bed in boxers and a vest.

Halfway through trying to sleep, I felt Becky's arms wrap around me. She was sobbing, and although I tried to ask her what was wrong, she never answered. I looked at her face, and she looked near enough asleep. I think she was sleep-crying.

04/12/07

The day after the horrific squirrel incident, we were all sent to a theme park by my granddaddy. He looked pretty miserable when we left – we weren't coming back since that'd upset us all and there was no point, since there was no Gran to tell jokes and order us to water her 16-acre garden. Although we loved every second that we were with her, she forced us to do a lot of chores – with bribes. If we cleaned hotel rooms, we'd get fifty dollars, if we mowed the lawn we got ice cream, and if we washed the cars (hers, she has like ten, and the guest's cars too) we'd get taken out on a trip and were allowed to buy or do anything we decided.

Once I decided to go and do forward rolls on people's cars, so I got a warning from some police officers – but it was alright, because I pretended I was a retard and when Joe saw me being yelled at, he led me away and said it was time for my medication. It turned out to be green jelly, which was good enough.

Anyway, we went to this amazing theme park – I was like, gob smacked. It was huge! These rides were spinning out of control, people whizzed over our heads and screams that could curdle milk echoed through our brains.

Frankie got to choose the first ride, and chose some super-fast one he was _just_ about allowed on. I think somewhere I saw Joe slip him a 20, but I'm not sure. Joe seems to be more himself today, probably because he's grieving, as you do when someone dies – but I think that his TMC is fading away. Not quite yet... He still has an insane crush on Little Miss Orphan Becky.

At the theme park, called Wonderworld, I thought I would die - with laughter, of course. Becky got pooed on by this gigantic bird-thing, and I just cracked up. She started crying and said I wasn't helping, but it most certainly helped me. I see her now in a new light – when she walks past, I scream, point at the air and go 'Watch out Becky!' and she throws a fit. It's hilarious. And after that, Joe fell into the lake where they had dolphins, which I also cracked up at (you could see his red and yellow 'Wonderworld' cap bobbing along the water, until the dolphin picked it up, cleverly maneuvered it onto his head and swam into the middle of the lake, which caused Joe to throw a hissy fit.) Not because of the TMC, he would've done that either way.

And Kevin, well, to be honest... I don't know what happened. He and Frankie went on the huge ride together, because Becky didn't want to and Joe just had to keep her company... and I don't really like big rides. So anyway, he nearly threw up when he came off, and what make me chuckle was that Frankie was completely fine. In fact, he went on 17 times after, until we had corndogs under one of those cool plastic umbrellas, and there were awesome guys playing some sort of Mexican music. It sounded funny – and went with the atmosphere. Everything was just going so well.

I was happy, which I found strange – since my Gran _had_ just died.

Hmm.

**Signed: ****Nick Jonas**

* * *

**I haven't updated in a while - this was so fun to write. Well, not the depressing bit at the beginning - I thought I'd add the whole effect of their Gran dying, because she did... yet I was probably well out of time. **

**They wrote that awesome song - Eternity. It's so sweet! Anyway, yeah.**

**Please review!**

**Chloe.**


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